Hi 3fatchicks friends! I have been a member for a while but have been lurking for a long time lately. Now I'm back. Trouble is, I am staring down a LOT of weight yet to lose (my weight goal on my ticker is the more "reasonable" goal suggested by DH, but it's still probably 20 lbs over where I really should be.) I have had some successes to this point. That said, I have been heavy all my life and I'm so flat sick and tired of being sick and tired...I'm ready to be in my "after" pictures right now! The evil little voice in my head that I'm sure many of us have tells me, "Who cares that you lost 30 lbs? You're still hugely overweight. You'll never get there. You might as well never have started."

(Sigh.) So that's what brings me here. I know me...I know I've got to shut that voice up stat, or I may well start listening to it!

Please help me. I appreciate any and all help you can give.

Sorry that you are down - have you tried breaking your larger goal into smaller chunks and rewarding yourself as you hit those smaller goals?

Believe it or not, I'm having trouble thinking of *anything* that I would want that I can afford to reward myself with. I'll keep thinking, though. I know that right now, 10 lbs lost seems impossible/like it will take forever. So, I'll go with 5 lbs from now. 5 lbs from now, I will reward myself with...something.

I hear you - does the reward have to be tangible or would you be satisfied with something more mind related? Would a picture of you 5lbs lighter or in something that you previously could not fit in to be enough to help spur you on?

I agree that breaking the amount down to 5lb chunks is a good idea, just seeing the scales come in less than they were before might be enough of a boost to help keep you on your path.

I think it needs to be tangible. I just saw myself in a photo taken a few days ago, and tbh I don't look any different to myself than I did at my heaviest, though others have commented on my thinner face and I do need smaller sizes of clothes than I did before. I think some of the problem may be that I can't afford to downsize my wardrobe at this point, so I'm still wearing clothes that are really too big for me.

Really feel for you, its the small goals and rewards which make the path to reaching the larger goal easier. If you loose weight from your face can you try to experiment with your existing make-up to try a new look? Not sure if you have seen on youtube but there are loads of face contouring lessons and it makes a real difference - a few brush strokes here and some bronzer there and bam I had proper cheekbones....

Sorry, I know I sound trite, just trying to think of things that are in budget that might spur you on.

I was feeling the same way and I was in another forum recently and someone mentioned "giving love to yourself." I mean, I have heard something like this before, but didn't really think anything of it. But the way this person described it...it was like some meditation thing. Imagining the love being sent to every part of your body. Feeling it start in your chest and reaching the ends of your feet and hands. Even though it was sort of hokey, I adopted the habit. And now when I shower I look at myself and "send" love to every part of my body, my skin, my organs, my bones....all of it. Try it!

You CAN do it! 195 to 150 is very doable. One day at a time but stay focused. I was 184p when I went in to deliver my son.

My motivation was going on vacation/our wedding, and being able to wear a bikini.

If anyone is interested in the meditation MegJJ was talking about, here's a link about it. I have actually started reading up on Buddhist meditation myself, so it was familiar. Never tried it this way, though.

http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/loving-kindness.htm

You can do it. When I first started (four years ago), it only took me from June to Thanksgiving to lost approx. 45 lbs. My starting weight was lower, too, so you might lose more quickly. I was at 1400 calories a day, exercising approx. one hour a day, 6 days a week.

ETA: Throughout the process, I focused on just putting one foot in front of the other, so to speak. This means that I did not weigh myself---even for a starting weight. YMMV. For me, just focusing on changing my habits took a lot of the I-MUST-LOSE-WEIGHT-NOW pressure off.

Pick ONE small goal! Lose 5 pounds, eat more veg, walk a mile, whatever.

Small successes, add up to big ones, it just takes time. Be patient.

Rewards, what do you like? Nail polish? A new house plant? Better socks? 2 bucks for a phone app?

If spiffing the wardrobe, is an issue, I don't know where you live, but start haunting the thrift stores! You have to go on a regular basis, but lots of good deals, for cheap! I do it all the time! Score sweet stuff!

Congratulation on what you have accomplished so far! Don't get too down on yourself. This process is hard and really messes with your brain. As for wearing clothes that are too big, I agree with shcirerf, go to the thrift shops to buy some clothes that actually fit you at your new size. It's amazing how good proper fitting clothes can make you feel. Plus, you don't want to spend a whole bunch of $$ on clothes that will also be too big in a few months. You can do this!!!!

You need to buy yourself a new outfit that's cute. Go thrift shopping. Seeing the smaller size and looking at yourself in it may give you that boost you need. You've done a lot, and worked very hard to get there. Even maintaining is a huge accomplishment because it's not going backward.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Seriously, at your weight you are inspirational to me, like you I have NEVER been skinny...actually never been anything other than morbidly obese.

Work on it 1 lb at a time, one day at a time, think of how far you have gone and how you feel now, you might not feel skinny but you certainly are skinnier/healthier than you where before. I am close to where you started and feel so much better than I did 50 lbs ago, just think of how much better you would feel when you are done.