Hugs to you, Raining.
It really does feel like a black hole, doesn't it? Being surrounded by such darkness. Even if someone tries to shine a light our way, it is so hard to see it. I completely understand.
You have been getting a lot of great advice in this thread. I definitely think it would help you to be more assertive of your needs, like another poster said, and take the time you need for yourself. You cannot take care of others, especially a big family, without taking care of yourself. I am so sorry that you do not feel supported by your family. I hope you find some small comfort on these boards.