I have absolutely no control over what I eat. I have had friends that are addicted to drugs and what they describe is how I feel about food. And it's not necessarily junk food either, just food in general. It's all I think about.
I suffer from depression, stress, constant headaches...and food seems to bring me happiness, if only for a little while.

Last night, I had my first experience with food anxiety. I made brownies for my boyfriend for his birthday. When we were out at dinner, all I could think about was going home and eating one. He wanted to go do something fun after dinner but I made "an evening at home" sound more enticing just so we could go home and I could eat a brownie. Ridiculous!!! Then when we got home, I had a brownie and so did he. I knew there was one left and its all I was thinking about. I finally got up to clean the kitchen so I could eat it without him seeing me. I felt so disgusted with myself.

This is not something I've really felt before. It happened again tonight at dinner. I became anxious that there was a whole dessert buffet but no one else in the family was getting dessert so I didn't want to be the only one. It literally put me in a horrible mood.

This is not normal and I don't want to live like this anymore.

Help!!!

I have had so many struggles with my weight for so long. So much of it has been due to my compulsive eating. I have been working with addicts (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.) for years. However, it took me quite awhile to realize that I had so many of the same characteristics that they have....but my addiction is food. I started looking more at my emotional eating, my relationship (unhealthy) with food, the way I felt after eating, the lengths I went to in order to eat (a lot of times in secret) and so many other things. People who have never experienced it usually do not understand it. But, it is real. Every addict experiences shame, embarrassment (sp?), guilt, etc. I'm not saying these things because of what I do for a living....I'm saying them from personal experience. The best thing about addiction though, is that there is always hope for recovery. We strive for remission. You're a step ahead of a lot of people because you have broken your silence and put your situation out there for people to see...you have admitted it. That's a big step....believe me...it isn't easy to do that. Anyone who is a food addict has gone through the same things you have. You're certainly not alone. I hope things get better for you

I think food addiction is bogus. I believed it for a long time and tried to change my diet. I was promised that f I "eat clean" and banish certain foods from my diet that I wouldn't crave them anymore. So I tried and tried and tried and failed and failed and failed. I would be doing great and suddenly out of nowhere I'd find myself binging uncontrollably. It diet matter how "good" I was, the more good I was the more severe the binging would be that followed.

I can identify with what you describe, I just don't believe it's addiction. I think it's emotional eating exacerbated by restrictive eating. Whatever diet I go on there comes a point that I think " I can't take this anymore!" and the ensuing obsession for food is frightening, like you describe.

Food is good for us. We use it to nurture ourselves. Some foods give us energy, other foods raise out seratonin levels, other foods help us feel full and all provide some level of nutrition. Food is not drugs or alcohol, it's not nicotine. The cure for those types of addiction is abstinence, that is impossible with food. Food is not your enemy.

Be kind and compassionate to yourself. If you're using food to cope with your emotions then be glad that your body has figured out a way to take care of itself. By figuring this out it means that this is not a coping mechanism that is effective for you anymore and it's time to learn new ways to cope. This can be a wonderful learning experience! Food can take its rightful place in your life, as nourishment, don't start that volatile game of blaming food for your behaviors. Learn the appropriate ways of taking care of your emotional needs and that will lead you free of food obsessions.

I have dealt with the exact issues you've described, and yes, as an above poster said, I cut way down on carbs (getting them from veggies only, except for berries on occasion) and eat a sugar-free and gluten-free diet now, and I don't think about food anymore unless I'm actually hungry. It was a huge struggle getting through the first week, but now it's smooth sailing.

Of course I'm not saying this is what you've gotta do. You've just gotta figure out what works for them... but any food addict program gets rid of sugars because of the effects it has on our bodies/brains.

I successfully lost 30 pounds 7 years ago the unhealthy way ---hardly eating and over-exercising. I gained it back just as fast as I lost it. My weight then fluctuated for a few years and in 2012 I lost 25 pounds the healthy way. Then I plateaud for a year and over the last year have slowly gained 10 pounds. I'm at my heaviest in 2 years. I know the science behind losing weight, i've done it before. I know all the tools you need. I even have a gym membership. I'm just so trapped by food and everyday I say "I'll start tomorrow"

Sorry you are getting slammed Newmala. It is real and it is debilitating and just removing the carbs does not fix your head. I exhibited the symptoms and behaviors as far back as my earliest childhood memories. It is for many, an obsession of both the body AND the mind. Yes, refined carbs can be a huge problem but eliminating them is not the complete answer for everyone. I encourage you to explore both the refined carb issue and the food addiction literature like Overeaters Anonymous.

I am another person who is here to testify that I was addicted to sugars and refined carbs. For many years I said "I will give them up another day. Today, they are my pleasure, my escape, my friend." It took my brother's early death of heart disease at age 49 to spur me to go on the Dukan diet (way of eating) which eliminates simple carbs and sugars. It has not cured my food addiction, but it has made it possible to manage it and live with it.

Different things work with different people. A lot of people have success with cutting sugar/carbs. Others cut fat. And still others just control portions. And still others do better just listening to their bodies. I know that I obsess over food. Whether that is a chemical addiction or not, I don't know. I know that if I eliminate the foods that I love, I don't last long. I do better with portion control. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to experiment with different methods and see how your body and mind react to the changes. Only you can find the true answer.

So sorry for the double post. I just thought of other things! :P

I also second that it is very possible there could be an emotional problem that is begging to be solved. There are many people who bury their feelings with food. One thing that happens when people diet is that emotions come up that they are not used to dealing with. That can make the whole situation much more difficult. You may want to seek the opinion of a counselor or psychologist as well.

Of course, it may also have nothing to do with that, either.

Please remember that this is a support site first and foremost. I have cleaned up this thread a bit. If you want to discuss a topic, feel free to make a new thread. If another poster is rubbing you the wrong way, the ignore function is very useful

Lots of luck to you Newmala and sorry your thread got hijacked.

Thank you for cleaning it up before i had a chance to read any negative comments, as I'm a pretty sensitive person. Never in my 7 years on this site has that happened. It's sad that people will say things online that they would never say to your face. Oh well.

Thanks for all the great advice and encouragement ladies.

Newmala, sometimes people just get carried away in started a quasi-related debate that has nothing to do with the original post. Sometimes tangential discussions can add to the discussion but not always. Figuring out how to navigate food issues is difficult and I hope you feel supported by this site

Oh Newmala, nothing I said was against you. At all. I actually posted saying that food addiction is real and something many members here, including myself, have experienced. It was deleted for other content towards someone else.
However I do not say things online I would not say to one's face. Believe me, I'm a live wire in person as well!