Uber ninja'ed me!

But I wanted to second what she said to Mandy. If you consume 8000 calories in that meal, the net impact is you would probably take an extra week (or even two) to get to your goal weight. The first time - because you'll probably do the normal maintenance weight range, so you will get to your goal weight many times. There is absolutely no chance you will consume that much. Enjoy your meal without guilt or worry. And then, when you're facing diet fatigue and part of you really wants to quit, you won't say to yourself, "I couldn't even relax and enjoy one celebratory meal."

Hello everyone. So, after maintaining my 120-lb weight loss for about a year between 2012 and 2013, I decided I had everything down and decided that gluten-free baking was a good hobby to take up last year. 18 months and 40 lbs regained later, I've seen the error of my ways. Mind you, it's not as though I haven't realized the 40lbs creeping on. I have. Earlier this year, 30-lbs regained, I was in this group. I even managed to drop 10 lbs. I've gained 20lbs since then and the sad part is that I haven't even given up the healthy habits that brought me success on this journey. I still track all my food and exercise and count my calories and weigh my food- the whole thing. So I know EXACTLY why I've regained 40lbs and I've in fact seen it happen. I can say how many calories I've eaten on any given day in the last 5 years since I started this journey. So why have I let myself get here? I don't think I've been in the right head space for this journey before now. I make plans, I set my alarm to go exercise or to eat healthy but as soon as it's not convenient or I don't feel like anymore, I'm back to my old ways. I think I'm at the EIE (enough is enough) point now though. Today is my first day back on track and I feel ready. I know I do better with you guys so here I am. Again. My goal is to get back to my all time low of 152 lbs but to also do more strength training and work on my body more this time around as last time I was a cardioholic. Hopefully by the end of the year but if not, that's fine too.

Wow! What you write in your post about your struggle to maintain sounds almost identical to what I have been going through!

Nori: Thanks for that and you're welcome. Yesterday was just one of those rough days we all have occasionally.

Mandy: Sounds like you have a plan. Just stick with it and you'll be fine. Also, lol, we had tilapia last night! Along with some zucchini. It was yum. Congrats on your maintenance victory.

Laurie: It's been a problem decade for me in the past, but I'm hoping this time will be a little different. Even if I wobble a little, I just don't want to slingshot back up. I don't foresee that happening, though as I've got such a great support group here cheering me on. I also only have one pair of jeans that I wear. I have a second pair that my brother's fiance picked up in a box of clothes at a yard sale but I never plan to wear them. Not only are they maternity jeans, they're also a horrible, HORRIBLE cut for me. When you're big, you shouldn't be wearing jeans that look like elephant pants. I know that I can fit into a regular size 18 (vs 18W) but I haven't stopped in to try on jeans in a while. All I know for sure is that my current jeans, which are 18W, are about at that point where I have to run them through the dryer every day just so I don't have to tug them up every 10 minutes at work. Perhaps it's time that I invested in a belt to assist with this problem. It'd be cheaper than buying jeans every six weeks. :P

Hang in there. The white-knuckle phase can be tough, but don't let it psyche you out. I imagine that TOM likely isn't doing anything to help with your cravings but I'm confident that you can pull through it. We both can.

Diane: Awesome job navigating the treat minefield at work! And you're doing incredible with your progress. I guarantee that you'll be more satisfied with yourself when all is said and done if you keep giving it your all. Honestly, I don't think any of us will ever be able to not think about our weight because it has been such a huge part of our lives. But, we will be able to think about how far we have come, how much we have accomplished, and we will be able to beam with pride.

The running, yeah, it's something I really look forward to doing. Sometimes I'm doing it and feel like my legs are going to give out on me, but I know that even though it burns, I'm probably not going to die.

Uber: Knowing that we have a great group of people here to support us, free of judgement is one of the biggest helps in the world.

Toasted: It happens to the best of us and you're in excellent company. Realizing that you saw it happening and let it happen can be a great motivational tool for encouraging yourself to re-lose the regain. Just don't beat yourself up over it because even though you've put some on, you've also managed to catch yourself long before crossing back into the 200's and that is a HUGE achievement.


As for me, I think I finally scare the scale straight. Well, sort of, lol. I saw 221.6 fully clothed. I was happy with that. Then I weighed in with just my bra/underwear.... And I saw 219.8 lbs. 219.8... (squee). Of course, you all know me and that number isn't going to get officially recorded until I'm confident it's a real loss. It is, after all, 3 lbs down from yesterday. A nice little whoosh, but I really believe that tempering my excitement for a few days after a whoosh has helped a lot with the sadness that comes if it ends up jumping back up by a few tenths of a pound the next day.

I couldn't have asked for a better start to the day today, though. Yesterday was tough on me. Even after I posted and worked out, for whatever reason, I couldn't quite shake the sad feelings. I'd feel okay for a while and then all I'd want to do is cry a little. Feeling better today. Managed to pick up 2.5 hrs today and another 2 hours tomorrow so my next paycheck (in 2 weeks cause I just got paid today) is going to be pretty nice. The schedule for the week after next posted and it's at 20 hours. I'm a little bummed because I really wanted to see them try and maintain us at slightly higher hours for a little while. Oh well. Besides, even if there were some extra hours to spread around, I'm the last one they'd be offered to. The fact is that I just don't move as fast as the other guys I work with. Most days, anyway. There are certain things - like paint - that I could power through given the chance, but it's rare for our department head to let me do that. I just try to comfort myself with the knowledge that I don't cut corners and I don't complain. If something needs to be done, I get it done.

Welcome back! What a success story you are. I applaud you for realizing what is happening and getting back to business. I love that "EIE"!

I love those two flavors. The Mint is my favorite. The lemon one is so good for about 2 minutes when you taste the buttery crust even! I know you're going to stick with this and get through your barriers.

All this busy work will make you forget food! I love it when I'm super busy. It's be 3pm and I'll realize I haven't eaten lunch!

Good for you! I enter my food for the day in the morning typically. I plan what I'm going to eat ahead of time. The fact that I have to get on MFP and change something bugs me. My work environment (pediatric clinic) is also problematic! We have loads of pharmaceutical reps who come in and bring bfast and lunch and snacks... it's never ending. I'm happy I'm on vacation next week because I see that there are 4 drug rep lunches next week!

How do you all write so much???? LOL

I am not going to have a whole lot to say I worked today and came home to my 6 kids so I gotta spend some time with them

I did finish my 2nd day of the c25k yesterday and it sure felt harder than the first day LOL

Hope you all have a wonderful day....I get to go to the water park tomorrow so I will be having a great family day

I get up and take the first hour or so of my day to stop in, read everybody's posts, write responses, and drink my first 20oz or so of water. Also, I'm a born writer so that definitely contributes to being able to push out a novels worth of responses. :P

Anyway, I stopped in because wanted to bask in the glory of another successful day of running. Little Miss Luna decided she had all the energy in the world today and on our first stretch of running, she took off like a firecracker. It was a little awkward trying to balance both her speed and my own, but, ultimately, I think it did me good. Usually, I push for a new distance on my third lap but it turned out that I pushed for a new distance on my second! And I matched that new distance on my third lap. I also think there was a small improvement on my speed, too, but it's hard to know that for sure without actually having a way to track my time when I'm out doing the running. I think the biggest thing I took away from today was during that second lap, my legs started feeling like jelly and a I told myself not to overdo it, but not to sell myself short, either. Next thing I know, new distance!

Also - edit to add that it all makes sense now. Apparently it's TOM. Which is confusing in itself as I usually have long cycles and it has literally been exactly 31 days since my last cycle... Also. Feeling like a bit like a rage monster tonight. Trying to keep people who irritate me at work at a distance just to avoid problems.

Hi all!
Checking in a little earlier today. I went to my spin class that uses the heart rate monitor. If asked how I feel about that class, I would have to say that I don't love it. I know it is a great workout, and I'll keep going just to have that, but I can't say that it is fun. I am not a fan of the music they have because it all has a very strong beat, because you are supposed to keep at the same RPM on each section, while varying your resistance on the dial. And, it just isn't all that much fun, just a lot of work. But, I do feel like it is doing a lot of good for me....so, I'll just go. One day a week isn't too bad.

Got on the scale and it looked pretty good. I might be able to make it down into the 230's by Monday. We'll see how it goes this weekend, but I might be able to slip in, barely.

Garnet: Nice job with the running! You're doing great. I am going to do some running tomorrow. I want to try to extend the minutes that I run vs the minutes that I walk. It is tough though!

Jen: I shouldn't write so much! I am typically at work when I'm writing. But, I do make up for it and work hard the rest of the time! Have fun at the water park!

Nora: It does feel like a fail if you have to change something on MFP, doesn't it!! Enjoy your time off!!

Toasted Smoke: Welcome! As you can tell from the responses, many can relate to you! We're here to help and support!

LaurieDawn: Major victory with the sugar free gum!! Better than eating real chocolate mint!

Uber: Well done with the new shoes! That's motivating to get out and use them now! Ha! And you're on vacation, so that's doubly impressive.

Mandy: I'm with everyone else on the celebration dinners. You want to continue to stay on track for the most part, but how often do you get the opportunity to celebrate something so very special!!! One meal will not take you totally off track. Just make sure you get back in line the next day. But do enjoy this time! You've worked hard to get to this point!

Jessica ...great job on the new distance!!!!!! Yeah I get up first thing too and read I really enjoy all the responses don't get me wrong...wish I was a woman of more words LOL.....

Diane...I LOVE reading it all! I just usually have shorter posts LOL but I LOVE reading it! Great job on spin and great job for your weight you can do this....We must have similar stats I was 239 until my scale malfunctioned...LOL

Garnet ...great job on running...I finished my second day of C25k yesterday...I think I may wait to Saturday to do my last...we are going to the aquatic center today so water exercise!

Good morning, all! Checking in a bit late. Had a couple of hearings this morning that, BTW, went very well. =) Going to be pretty brief, though.

Jessica and Jen - Look at us committing to running! And Diane too. And Uber soon. Maybe we should consider a running challenge? Like how much we can improve with speed and distance? I ran a mile last Friday. Maybe I'll try to do it again today. Or maybe 1.1 miles? ;-)

Diane - Love that you're so committed to the spinning. It sounds like it kinda sucks for you, and I also think it would be fine if you replaced it with something else, but I also think sometimes it's good to acknowledge that this can be just plain hard work, but we do it for the same reason we brush our teeth and make our beds.

Nora - The term "first-world problems" is tossed around a lot for things that are acknowledged as not being truly life-changing. Your first-world pharmacy rep problem is a legit one, though. It makes me crazy when well-meaning people make things hard by pushing stuff on me that I don't need.

Toasted Smoke - I don't know if I've told you this, but I have read through a ton of your old posts (in the past), and have been incredibly inspired by you. I seem to remember a longish post about going to the gym when you were heavier and how you dealt with unfriendly stares, maybe even from a trainer? Anyway, I remember that post was particularly helpful to me at the time I read it. I'm so glad to have you here! And I love that your habits are still so deeply ingrained. Getting re-committed is never easy, and staying committed is really hard too. But having the tools is a huge difference-maker.

220.6 this morning. My weight keeps ticking downward at a good pace, and I'm extremely grateful for that. But the past few days, I have been feeling a bit spacey. I hit the gym hard on Wednesday, and actually managed two and a half real push-ups (a huge goal of mine, and I'm just starting to be able to do them) so I feel like my strength is continuing to improve. However, I do a cardio warm-up before I hit the weights, and my goal was to go 5 minutes at 5.3 mph. When I ran the mile, I did it at 4.8 mph, but I have also run for 30 seconds at 7.4 mph in the last week, so I thought I could do the 5 minutes at 5.3. I literally blacked out when I reached 3:50 at the 5.3mph pace. (I didn't pass out. My ears started ringing, and I could only see black.) So, I stopped and did a brief cool down. And I made it through my routine with heavy weights, but I was exhausted and sore, much moreso than usual. But. I also have heavy (though mercifully brief) periods, and I was on my first day of it, so I was bleeding pretty heavily, and I am on day 3 right now, and it has not started to taper yet, though I suspect it will in a few hours.

I have ED tendencies, and this feels like anorexia has. (I have only ever flirted with anorexia, but have gone for weeks where I only ate an apple a day, etc.) I struggle with the balance of being accountable and falling into ED. But, because I recognize that my calories are not unacceptably low, and I am focusing on nutrient-dense foods, and I am supplementing with a daily vitamin and a few other essentials (like iron and vitamin C, since I tend to have low iron), I am not freaking out. Not making any real changes to my plan. I took a rest day yesterday from working out, and will let my hormones subside and my body build its iron back up before making any major changes.

Just wanted to jump on really quickly before running a bunch of errands to share that I get to log a loss for the week!

I weighed in at 296.2 today, for a loss of 1.2 pounds. It's not my normal 2ish pounds loss, but it's still a loss... and 1.2 pounds for this week with at least 75% of my meals being restaurant or fast food? Yes indeed, I'll take that!

We're grilling tonight, so it's sausages on whole wheat hoagies with onions, peppers, and cheese... Which is both high sodium and high calorie... So we'll have a salad with it and be happy. Well. I will. Hubby will probably have 2 sandwiches and chips. (I swear I don't know how he stays at 170!).

I need to plan the rest of my day so it fits around dinner.

Hope y'all have a good Friday (or had, for those in Asia :P)

Edit to add: this is what my weights have done the last few days. I was 297.4 before I left. I pretty much dropped 4+ pounds of water in 4 days.

Tue - 300.8 (+3.4)
Wed - 299.0 (+1.6)
Thur - 297.4 (0)
Today - 296.2 (-1.2)

Diane: Hmm. I'd hate to see you taking a class solely for the health benefits without necessarily enjoying it. I wonder if there is a way to use the equipment without actually being in a class? If so and you have a phone or music player, you might be able to put together your own workout that will be both fun and beneficial. Nothing can kill your exercise bug quicker than a workout you just are feeling.

About the running, you're right. It is very tough. I can't say what my exact times or distances are, I don't have a way of tracking it. But I have certain part of the trail that are major milestone goals for me and I can't wait to reach them. Honestly, I think it might be a little easier that I'm using the trail itself to measure my improvement. When you're running, it is a lot easier to tell yourself to just keep going to the next three than to just keep going for another 20 seconds or x yards.

Jen: LOL. I've wanted to be an author since I was 6. I've had 22 years to perfect my ability to be wordy. But short responses can leave a great an impression as long ones. Generally speaking, I'm working on my running every other day. It seems like a good rotation for me.

Laurie: You know I'm so on board with the continuing to improve my running thing. I'm enjoying it so much. It's funny because I've always wanted to be able to run but I've never had the guts to get out and actually do it before. Well, sort of, in 2007 I had access to a free gym that was usually quite empty. I did some running on their treadmills, but usually I used the elliptical. I'm enjoying this outdoor, cross-country running with Luna so much more than I remember enjoying it then.

Please, please, please, make sure you take care of yourself. I would hazard a guess that the blackout and such had a lot to do with pushing your body a smidge too far given what it was already putting itself through. The fact that you're aware of your tendencies and you are making sure to get enough nutrients is a great thing. Just keep listening to your body during workouts. Sometimes, it just needs a day or two off to recover.

Mandy: Congrats on your loss! I had a relatively slow week myself last week but that's okay.


I saw 219.8 lbs again on the scale! I recorded the 220.4 lbs that I saw immediately before and immediately after the 219.8 lbs, though. It's almost two pounds down since Tuesday's weigh-in and I'm pretty confident that I can get to and maintain 220.0 lbs by this coming Tuesday. It would be awesome if I could manage to get to 219.4 lbs - keeping up with my 2.5 lbs average, yeah, I think I'd be ecstatic. Oh well, we'll see how that goes.

I'm busy packing, packing, packing... so no time for personals. I'm heavier than I was last summer, and I flat out refused to buy new clothes in this larger size, so I have limited outfits to pack I realize! I wear scrubs to work, so kinda forgot that I was cycling through 3 outfits besides scrubs. Oh well. I'm firm of this decision to buy nothing in the size I need right now (a 22). We're leaving first thing in the morning. Road trip for Oregon until Monday after next. I'm expecting and planning to be 100% successful with food and exercise. I will not be weighing in at all though, since I don't travel with my scale.

Have fun on your trip, Nora!