I don't know if your problem has been solved already, but if it isn't (and knowing cats, it probably is far from solved), here goes.
I'm a crazy catlady and have five cats living in my household. So I know a thing or two about crazy cats. We've also moved around a bit, and yes, cats are very territorial. They do not like changes at all. They are like the psycho-autistic creatures of the animal kingdom. Any move will always go with some odd behavior from cats, from being extremely cautious to downright "aggressive" behavior (actually, it's merely defensive). However, as soon as the cat notices she can go on with her daily routine and nothing besides the territory has changed, she'll slowly learn to adapt. Feliway helps wonders for this process.
Another thing about cats is that they are hypersensitive to how others behave around them. They will notice instantly when someone doesn't trust them and for them, that can only mean one thing: If you don't trust them, it means you cannot be trusted. The solution then, seems simple: Just trust the cat! Of course, if it was that simple, you wouldn't be in this mess, right? You obviously have issues with cats and need to learn to trust them. There's nothing wrong with that, it's quite understandable even, but it means the two of you (you and the cat) will need to work on trusting one another.
Now, although cats are crazy and slightly psycho even, they are also quite simple creatures. They love to eat, be left alone when they want to sleep or wash themselves and... Play! This means, feed the cat (give her treats that only YOU give, not your boyfriend) but also find ways to play with her... From a distance. Now, a laser is a good start for you, but not for her, unless she's smart enough to realize you are the one making the red dot appear (some are, some aren't smart enough). But there are plenty of toys out there that will ease the two of you, since you can handle the toy from a long enough distance, but close enough for her to realize it really is you playing with her. These are toys like feathers on a stick, or long, wired toys held by a stick. You can easily get over a meter length (your and her comfort zone) with these toys, while actually playing with her.
Another part of cats that is simple, is their body language. This is really important to know about cats and differs quite some from humans and dogs. So, let's go over this:
Very slow, barely wagging tail: Happy, content cat
Quicker wagging tail: Anxious or unhappy cat, to downright pissed (the quicker it waggles, the more likely she'll end up lashing out)
Slow blinks: Signs of trust, it's like saying "I love you, I trust you". If she does this to you, just imitate her behavior! You'll just have told her "I love you, I trust you as well!". When the cat is looking at you and seems in a neutral/happy mood, you can even take the first step. If she responds, well, you just spoke cat!
Laying on her back while showing signs of agitation: She is ready to pounce
Laying on her back but not straight on the back, more to the side with a slow, wagging tail: She is at ease with you and trusts you. Trusting you often means she trusts you NOT to touch her tummy! ONLY touch her tummy if you know the cat really, really well and you know she loves and trusts you more than anything in the whole wide world. Or she WILL lash out (seemingly without reason). You need to understand that, for a cat, her weakest place of the body is her tummy. So showing that to you is a huge sign of trust (or just a position in which she can easily pounce, but yeah) but letting you TOUCH her weakest spot... Well, that takes a special kind of trust, huh?
Tail high up in the air: Sign of confidence or even arrogance/dominance
If she seems in an okay-state, you can also offer the back of your hand to her, so she can sniff it. Do not pat unless you are sure she'll be okay with it. This can take a while, but once you think it's okay and you know enough of her body language, you can then, after she sniffed it, slowly move your hand to her head and see if she'll let you pat her. Ask your boyfriend at this stage where she enjoys being scratched. This differs from cat to cat. Some like it on the ears, some more on the forehead, some chin,... I even have a cat that lets most people, once properly introduced, scratch his tummy. As long as he believes there's food involved, he'll do anything, actually.
I hope you still read this and can use this so you and your feline companion can learn to love each other.