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Originally Posted by Nanu
Good for you! I second that feeling of guilt about looking after yourself when other people need you.
Taking care of yourself is incredibly important.
It is true. I am going to have to work on some kind of balance.
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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny
Welcome! I think many women are hardwired to think of themselves as undeserving! Partly because as mothers we always put our hildrens needs first, so there is a biological component. But it's cultural as well, we live in a patriarchal society Where are you? Men are the head of households, they're the bread winners, they're stronger, they make more money and more decisions, they carry the family name and legacy. Women are subjugated in the church and in the media. We are taught to look good but not say much. We are expected to give but not to take.
It's time to break free of all that. If you don't put yourself first no one else will. When you start valuing yourself others will follow suit. Your health is your greatest gift. By taking care of your needs you will be in a better position to take care if others.
So I'm not a mother, and I can't even imagine what being a parent would do to my psyche (both bad and good). I am a nurturer, but so is my husband. He takes care of me more than I take care of him. But I get what you mean, it might be more about the society we live in.
Although, for me, I think the idea of me being selfish comes from my mother. I am still working on the idea that her perceptions of me aren't particularly realistic or fair, and I need to stop worrying about it.
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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny
I don't know if something like this suits you but I feel lucky to have found a community group in my neighborhood called the new moon women's circle. It's held at my local yoga studio and once a month we meet to meditate and share our life stories and strengths with other women. I find the collective feminine energy to be very powerful and necessary for me. Is there something similar in your community, a church group or something that can foster your inner needs?
That sounds interesting. While that specifically is not my thing, you do remind me of something. I am not taking care of my spiritual needs. Perhaps it's time to.