My cat Cinna was hit by a car last week and passed away. Cinna was a wonderful cat, and my husband and I both loved him very much. We are both devastated, but last week I had to go out of town the day after it happened, and now that I'm back I'm just overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. My husband had a chance to grieve while I was away, and while I grieved the day it happened, I feel that now that I"m back I'm just overwhelmed. I'm having trouble completing my work or even caring about work when I'm there, and when I'm home I'm just... sad, and reaching for food.
The other day, my friend showed us a stray that needs a home she has been feeding at her house named Gimli. My husband wanted to take him home (and honestly so did I, but I don't think I was thinking logically at the time). So, we took the cat (Gimli) home, and he is adorable, unfortunately he is an orange tabby just like Cinna was. Now I feel horribly guilty watching Gimli on Cinna's cat tree, eating out of his foodbowl... I just feel like we have betrayed him by letting this other cat into our hearts and our home. I still miss Cinna so much, and it's very hard seeing a cat that looks so much like him, but isn't him. I already love GImli's little quirks, he has a very different personality, I'm afraid that I'm going to forget Cinna and that it will be like he never died at all, like we are disrespecting his memory. At the same time, I really just want to give this sweet cat a loving home, I'm just still grieving and don't know how to help myself move on without feeling like I have abandoned or not appreciated this cat that I loved very much.