Hi everyone!
Today is the first day for me addressing my weight issue and I am already frustrated! Last night when I weighed myself for the first time in a long time I weighed in at 198.5lbs which prompted me to immediately hop on the exercise bike for a bit and quit eating for the night (it was already 9pm). Then this morning I get back on the scale (I am obsessive like this) and my weight has gone up to 199lbs! I know this journey will be frustrating, it always requires a lot of patience and consistency. I need to be able to accept that if I want to lose a significant amount of weight then I must be prepared to be frustrated, irritable, tired, cranky, uncomfortable, lonely, bored, annoyed, anxious, angry, and even sad. I need to feel these feelings because they have been getting in the way of me addressing my need to lose weight and improve my health for awhile now. I am wearing all of these feelings around my waist, on my thighs, under my arms, up my back, over my butt, and under my chin. I have been eating more than I need to eat to be healthy and I have been consuming foods that are detrimental to my health also.
I hope that writing about these feelings will help and also that allowing myself to feel them while embarking on some significant lifestyle changes will also be helpful. I will have to learn new coping skills and change my relationship with food. I am worried that I am not really prepared to do all the work that is involved with this or that my perfectionism will get in the way and I will want to quit when I make a mistake. I know this is going to be hard but I also know it will be worth it.
Thanks for reading.