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You need to go and visit a mental health specialist. You are fighting an eating disorder and you shouldn't have to fight it alone. You are not alone. Get ahold of a counselor or something they should be able to help you out!

Fairy: Go to a counselor at the university and get connected to an eating disorder specialist/therapist. Congratulations on realizing this early on before you severely damage your health irreparably. It can be a tough road, but you can get help, talk honestly with the counsellor then the therapist and if someone doesn't take you seriously, find another who will. Your LIFE depends on it. You can do it

I agree. What you are describing is definitely a developing eating disorder. I have had one for 14 years. Please see someone. I am confident there are free counseling services at your uni through the health or student services. Please don't make the mistake of thinking it's nothing. At your current weight it would not take long for you to become very sick with these behaviors.

Just chiming in to add my voice to these kind ladies'. Please do seek professional help for this before it gets out of hand. I'm sure your university has a counselor with lots of training and experience who can help you learn to understand and deal with these feelings.

I am glad you realize that you need help for the feelings you are having. Please seek help now for this, it will only get worse if you don't. I just wanted to offer some support for you.

Agree with everything everyone else has said. I'm British and studied at Nottingham Uni. I am sure you can seek help and advice at your uni's heath centre. Go there.

Thanks everyone, obviously that's not really what I wanted to hear but it's what I needed to hear. I'll look into getting some support.

Yes, counseling is the first step. Why not try shopping for healthy, yet calorie dense foods such as avocado and EVOO, Greek Yogurt (not the fat free type). This way if bf offers to make you something you will know that it is something for nourishment and health, not something to feel guilty and afraid about. Good luck. Let us know how you are doing.

Fairy how are you doing?