This thread will be used for daily (or so) accountability to keep track of the ups and downs of my journey to lose the excess weight and more so to overcome the evil that is binge eating. Since there's no forum for journals I hope this okay. I'm open to comments or suggestions too.
I have felt trapped in this disorder (if that's what it is, maybe habit is more apt) for many years. I believe it started around the time I was 19 or so. I'd always been pretty heavy (or the heavy side of normal) as a teen but after having my child at 18 I suddenly and inexplicably lost all the baby weight and then some. All the way down from a pregnancy high of 198 (which put my start weight at 160, since I gained 38 pounds during the very long pregnancy) I was down to 130, possible even the high 120's if my memory is not deceiving me. I swear I weighed myself at 127 or 128 at one point. But I didn't even own a scale, I was using a friend's. I wasn't even trying and that was the best part.
After starting school and a new job I gained quite a bit of weight and my binging began in earnest. I had maintained that low weight for like a year so it's doable (once again, not trying, no counting, barely exercising) but the binging seems to do me in. I know it's related to dieting and anxiety but I can't seem to shut it down.
I love the book Overcoming Binge Eating by Dr. Fairburn. It's straight forward and offers not only great insights and research, but a detailed plan to follow to overcome the disorder once and for all. The plan actually makes perfect sense- record binge activity as it normally is, then gradually work on framing a regular eating schedule and so forth. It's broken into stages and can move as slow or as fast as you want. I hate very restrictive plans or anything involving excess effort since I am so busy anyway. But this may be worth trying. Dr. Fairburn advocates a no-diet plan since so many bingers/bulimics are triggered by it. Eventually you work into healthier eating habits but in a non-restrictive way.
I wish I could beat this and lose weight all at once! It seems impossible. Every weekend I lose the thread and go way overboard. I start off great and then something sets me off. All I know is, whatever I do, I can't give up. This "disorder"/habit makes me so miserable and it's bringing my whole life down. I have no confidence, and am scared to be in public. I don't want anyone to see me! I feel like I can't build a career or date because I am so self-conscious about my size. I am 5'6" and basically 190 pounds. The most I've been my non-pregnant adult life. I need a change and I need to make it soon.