I am starting this at the suggestion of my therapist as another form of journaling to keep myself accountable and be able to relate to real live people going through the same types of problems.
I am 34 years old, I live in the Midwest, I am a nurse, I am married and a mother of 2 crazy and wonderful kids, ages 4 and 7.
Last week was a very low point for me, I reached a new high on the scale, one I had not seen before. I hit 260, I had been in a small yo yo between 240-250 for the past year. I swore I would NEVER let myself get above 250, the next thing I know I am eating junk like crazy and shocker when I stepped on the scale my weight went up.
I have been overweight all of my adult life. I joined the military (Army national guard) at age 18 and barely made the cut off body fat percentage to join,then for the 8 years I was in, I just got by for the body fat regulations. After I got out of the National Guard I really started to climb with my weight.
In the past 10 years I have tried: weight watchers numerous times, Ali medication, hydroxycut, raspberry ketones, ideal protein, bariatric advantage, atkins, nutritionist, personal trainer, medifast, and many "versions" of my own. I don't like to even think about the money I have spend on all of these different programs, foods and subscriptions over the years. And I know none of these programs will work long term unless I change my habits. I am usually able to lose 5-10 lbs then I think ok, I can cheat a little now, next I am saying screw it I am not doing this anymore then I gain back all the weight I just lost with an extra 10 added on. The most I lost was 50 lbs when I did ideal protein 2 1/2 years ago, but I hit that goal weight and thought again ok I got this, I quit doing the follow up appointments, started gaining little by little and after all that work of losing 50 lbs and being at my goal weight. Less than 8 months later I had gained all of it back and kept climbing from there.
At the suggestion of one of my doctors I did a bariatric surgery consult, at the time my insurance would not pay for the surgery unless I had a "consecutive" BMI of over 40 for 3 years straight. Since I had the period of time where I lost the 50 lbs on Ideal, the 3 years had to start over for consecutive BMI over 40. I don't have any co-morbidities that my insurance will accept, so if I end up going the surgery route I have to wait until October of 2014 to get the insurance pre-auth. I am not sure that is what I will end up doing as I know that is just a tool to use not a solution to the problem of weight.
I have low back and shoulder problems all of which are better when I have dropped even 5 lbs. I struggle playing with my kids outside cause I get so short of breath since I am so out of shape, a walk to our park is only 3 blocks away and I cant even talk while I am walking.
I am young and I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life. I don't want the "perfect" beach body, I just want to be pain free, play with my kids and set a good example for them as they grow up. Being in the medical field I know all the things associated with obesity and how much risk I am putting myself at by being overweight.
I can talk myself into or rationalize anything so I can eat what I want. it's easter, it's Friday, it's my co-workers last day, my kids really wanted ice cream, I don't have time to drive the extra 1/2 mile across town to go to subway instead of burger king, I just need to finish the bag of candy in the house so I will stop thinking about it. I could go on and on.
Wow! sorry that got a little long for an introduction. Anyway I am hopefully optimistic that this type of setting will help me stay accountable long term.