Thanks, wannabe. That makes me feel better!
With regard to the scale, at first, yes, I was very uncomfortable not to get on the scale in the beginning. I would go a couple of days, and then I would get this sort of "itch" like first thing in the morning. And then the weirdest thing happened... I had been practicing mindfulness with the scale, trying to listen to my trigger, so to speak, to feel the feelings instead, and realized that I needed something pleasant to "grab onto" (and weight loss is pleasant).
First thing in the morning, the time when I least wanted to be awake and going to work, etc (I HATE mornings)., and I would be "triggered" to weigh myself as if it were some magic pill to make me feel better. I wanted that one thing to hold onto, so to speak, because if I didn't have it, I felt like I was free-floating, or falling or something. Now, is this an ED talking or what? Anyway, one day, I allowed myself to "free fall" and it seems like that was the turning point. And since then, it hasn't been quite so difficult. At least so far....
I also would ask myself, "Now why would you want to weigh yourself? What do you think the scale would tell you? You either lost or gained, but what does it matter - you still need to do what you need to do, regardless."
Because if I got on and had gained, I would eat out of some kind of weird punishment or retribution. If I got on it and lost weight, I would pat myself on the back (i.e. never let your gratitude sour into pride
), and the next day I would gain, and that pat on the back would get revoked in a very
not nice sorta way. But, really, how much control do you have over what the scale tells you from day to day? How can you take pride in that?
Don't get me wrong, the "itch" is still sometimes there, but it's not overwhelming anymore, more like an annoying gnat. 2 months is the longest I've gone without weighing myself daily in I don't know how many years.