I'm a perfectionist and also really competitive. Not a good combo for a chubby girl on weight loss forums!
It's my first time on 3fc but I've used other forums in my previous weight loss attempts. I think looking back they did not help me much to say the least, but that's totally because of my own personality.
I had my own goals before I joined that forum but I got carried away by what other dieters were achieving. I'd tell myself that if people far heavier than me did that much I could do much more BUT I was wrong!
The idea of challenges felt good but I started cheating just to keep myself afloat in the race. When weigh in was close, I would starve myself just so I could log a good loss in. I'd overwork myself at the gym for the same reason.
Also in one of the forums there was an option for logging in daily workout, food and water intake. For workout I was fine but sometimes I'd leave out food that I had binged on. I'd not mention my slip up moments or belittle them just to keep up appearances and not appear like the black sheep because meeeen, did chicks on that forum do well!!!
This time I decided that even if I use a forum to share experiences and questions, I'm going to KEEP MY OWN GOALS NO MATTER WHAT. I also learnt that my body is unique and it reacts differently so I have to respect it and I MUST NEVER LOSE FOCUS AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT MY MAIN OBJECTIVE IS FORM AND NOT NUMBERS ON A SCALE (or numbers on a forum screen).
I'm going to keep myself away from challenges. My own monthy goal of 5.5 lbs is challenge enough.
Can someone relate to my experience?

I can understand where you're coming from. I'm competitive as well and it's not a good idea to get sucked into competition with others, when it's about something so personal as this. Especially for women, weight will fluctuate no matter what you do and trying to force your body's functions to bend to your will is only going to leave you frustrated.

That said, you can still use a forum in a competitive manner without being in competition with others. Essentially, what being competitive is is to show others that you can do it. Do exactly that, with determination and perceverance. You can't tell your body how much weight it should lose, but you can follow your diet and exercise regime diligently and if you fail, you gracefully pick yourself up and continue without any drama. People will notice. It's always the quiet ones who after all the hoopla, still keep on plowing forward and "win the race".

Show yourself and others what you're made of, and that's much more intriguing than mere numbers :-)

I am not a competitive person when it comes to this weight loss thing. Because I already know I'll lose. I easily lose focus, get frustrated with myself, quit, start over, etc. I'll only compete when I know I've got a good chance of winning.

However, I am a hugely ambitious person. And that has been a bigger problem for me, since I'm always setting ridiculously high goals for myself. These goals, when I look at them objectively, are unachievable and would really mess up my life if I focused all my effort on achieving them. So I have set smaller ambitions for myself, on a daily basis, and I am starting to appreciate my successes.

I think your main objective is good. I get the sense that you are much younger than me. My main objective is optimum wellness, with form being a close second. Setting an amount of weight to lose each month is a good thing to shoot for to stay on track, but understand that as you get closer to goal, your body will not want to maintain that rate of weight loss. You might want to have your body fat percentage checked and track that over time to gauge your progress.

This forum can be so much more than just challenges. Sure there are quite a few challenges here. Some people like those, and you sound like someone who might. They're not meant to be winning or losing though, just something to keep you focused.

That's really the power of this forum - coming here, whether you participate in challenges or not, keeps your mind focused. The more you talk and read about weight loss and fitness, the more it motivates you.

True words, I love that sentence!
Thanks guys. I now know that I have an eternal and serious competitor who is the greatest challenger and whom I can never get rid of: ME!
My fat self, who gets so lazy some days, who loves emotional eating and who loves to get me to give up. She's enough a competitor and a challenger to beat. No need to add more!
Living daily with her in my body and continuing my journey is already such a feat for me.

It is good to know this about yourself and guard against it.

I learned that I can easily get caught up in the running challenges -- like the "1000 miles run this year" this kind of thing -- and then I stop listening to my body because I want to make those damn miles. And then I hurt myself. Or I stop enjoying myself. It's stupid. I now don't join those challenges any more, because I don't want to do that to myself and I don't seem to have enough self-control to hold back when I need to.

True words, mrs Snark!! Same thing here!

I am back doing a reboot
I think Forums help me hold myself accountable and cause the procanstinator
In me to commit.
I am not really the competitive type ..more once I grasp onto something I am obsessed until I get what I am after.
I have to buy into to it and not let my ADD latch on to some other shiny object and get distracted.
Once I hit my stride I am a Bull Dog.
I am an all or nothing type personality ...which is can be helpful or my downfall.
I find learning about others stories of struggles and success inspiring.
I think I'm kind of weird cuz if you asked me to name some famous person's body that I would like to have....in truth I could not tell you.
Ask me about what I want to change about myself and i could give you a laundry list.
So I am more internally driven then externally....which is a double edged sword.
Hope that helps .... We are all wired differently .... I like to personally not draw attention to myself either positive or negative...but on the boards your not seeing anyone face to face and it feels easier for me to share.
Good luck,
Roo2

Roo, I'm a lot like you. I'm a very private (although not shy) person "in person", but on the internet, it's easier for me to be honest about my weight struggles. I'm an all or nothing person, too -- and when I want to perform, I go all out. I was involved in a team weight loss competition (among coworkers) and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. Sometimes your body just won't do what you want it to do, and if I'd gain for the week and have to share that with my team, I was crushed. I eventually dropped out, I was so humiliated. I was the biggest person on the team, and they assumed an asset because I had a lot to lose, but it just didn't happen.

Thirti4thirty-I've never really been a team person -- didn't play sports as a kid. So, I find it best to challenge myself. I did a couple of diet bets (google it) and won both times. You're not really competing against others, just alongside them. Everyone who meets their own goal wins. I find it just enough motivation for me - don't want to lose my money!

I've joined a few challenges here on the forum, and I don't always perform well, but I don't let it get me down. I'm still here, still striving for success, and NOT GAINING is success in my book.

And, yes, there are "superstars" on this forum. I'll admit to envying several posters' progress, but it's nothing I can't accomplish in my own time. In fact, seeing them post about their success is inspirational to me because I know one day I'll be there, too.

I think you'll like it here!

Its a great thread for discussion.

I really respect honesty in forums like these. I respect that you've have had the insight into your own behaviours and courage to learn and come back with a more healthy strategy.

I think of myself as competitive but not so much with other people over the amount of weight loss but over more intangible things. On my first weight loss forum it was probably more of a power struggle with another over strategy than who could lose more. I remember this woman who was big into counting calories and i wasn't. She also said it was good to include sweets in moderation. I had to abolish sweets because i'm such an addict. But it wasn't just that. We both had a following and it was who was most respected. lol. Its so stupid. I tend to realise these things at a certain point and try to let it go. Still i am getting better at that too.

With my weight loss, i am fairly confident of my own plan so i don't need to be faster at losing than others. Sticking to my path is the main thing. Usually when i fall off it, i fall off it for good, until next time. It amazes me to see people fall and pick themselves up on forums and keep on going.

It's a bit like with all social media. It's great for sharing information and keeping up with what's happening with other people. The dark side is that you get sucked in and stop being your authentic self and start focusing on what you appear to be.

I do get sucked into the competition and that's why I try not to hang around so much. Otherwise, the whole comparison thing gets to me and I tend to forget that we're all made up of different people with different characteristics and physical traits. I also tend to forget that others may not be telling the whole truth anyway, lol!

Reading posts on forum helps me gain prospective.
Everyone may not have the same challenges but we all united in one thing... The struggle with weight .

I will never escape the need to monitor my food intake to keep my weight in check.
The forum has helped me tap into my inner strength to continue the journey..
Helpful to be able read posts of how people are dealing with weight issues.

Roo2

I think I have realised this too. I do have a competitive streak but at the end of the day its about me and what works for me. I can only better myself.

Yeah! How different are we. The fact is that you must know your own self, your ups and downs and play on the ups while eliminating the downs. Doing something because everyone else is doing it is a big trap!