Typical, Den.

Listen to THIS! My MIL bought a shower curtain at a garage sale (a used one) and made kitchen curtains out of it. hahahahahahahaha! I'm NEVER eating in that freakin' kitchen AGAIN!!

That seems.....I don't know......kinda unsavory.....

That does sound kindof gross...hopefully she removed any lingering soap scum, or hmm....hairs.

Update on the inlaw problem...
This weekend we had DH's birthday dinner-noone got him anything but me. His sister for her birthday got a $140 tattoo paid for by the other SIL and a family friend-these same two people were at DH's gathering, and got him nothing-they can each spend $70 on spoiled brat SIL #1, but can't spend $5 on my husband. His parents got him nothing-and we found out that along with spoiled SIL#1's tattoo, presents, and birthday dinner-that the inlaw's took her out for a SECOND dinner later that week to Red Lobster.
When we got home and were unpacking our camping stuff-he jokingly said "Noone got me Jack!" He laughed it off, but I know it hurt his feelings. I am SO glad I ordered his gift-even if it was too expensive. I think I am going to get up Thursday morning while he is getting ready for work, and am going to make him breakfast-and just spoil him all week long.
Besides-SIL#1's tattoo is so ugly an un-original (about like her) it is the "every 20 something wannabe Britney Spears tattoo"-the butterfly with the tribal around it. I swear-so freakin' original. I swear that tattoo is in 1995-2003 what the anchor/"Mother" tattoo, or the heart with the daggar was in old school tattoo days-everyone has it.
I do feel like a mail order catalog around all them all-that was a good analogy. I think I might start trying to find the most hideous gifts I can just to see if they wil try to be polite when they open them. Let's see, a ceramic pink elephant, a Clapper or Chia Pet...any other suggestions?
Aphil

My MIL's MIL once gave her a green cow creamer. The milk came out of the mouth....

My DH's nana used to give us "fruit baskets" which translates as a basket with 2 mealy apples and a brown banana in it! I think she made them up a week or two ahead of time!!! (But then her food storage and cooking techniques tended to be "unsettling" to say the least!!)

How about an "I'M WITH STUPID" T-shirt with the arrow pointing up?

Oy! I am not the only one with In-Law's from ****. Thank goodness. I feel better hearing about other people's freaks for family.

My MIL insists on giving us stuffed animals, ceramic bears, and dish towels. At least I can use the dish towels! We have no children - yet I have an entire bookshelf covered in her stuffed animals and a garbage bag in the closet with her other ones! Not just cheapy ones, like the collectable ones. It's killin me.
She collects stuff all year round, and then forgets about it, and her house is absolutely cluttered and trashed and by the time she's found something the cat has peed on it, or the dog chewed it up, or something spilled and molded on it.
i have gone over there to help clean her house multiple times, and she usually ends up sitting and talking on the phone while i work and then gets upset when i throw away expired food. Seriously, they had canned food that had expired a few years ago WITH NO LABEL! No idea what it is, it's expired, but god forbid we throw it away!!! Disgusting.
And i'm only touching the surface here for freakdom ....

Those all sound like really "lovely" gifts.... poor Aphil's husband!

I once got a rusty (!!!) "Home Interiors" frame from boyfriend's mother. She didn't like me (until i dumped him). So, for christmas she dug this frame out of her basement and put a picture of her son in it from high school. It was really really bad. HOWEVER, once I broke it off with him (after dating for 5 years), she sent me the coolest indian print top and velvet jeans... all in the right sizes! Turns out she actually asked her DIL for help and she is a good friend of mine. How funny!

I got some books of the "how to get over the loss of a love" variety from my almost-ex boyfriend once - it was, I hasten to add, UNCLEAR at the time whether we were still an item or not (well, it was unclear to ME, anyway - I plead youth here as I was only 20). That was a nice romantic gift, wasn't it?

My mom, as I have said elsewhere, used to sometimes give me for a present stuff I had given to HER, but she didn't like it (obviously! I got THAT one all right!)

Presents can be very very weird...I had a friend once who gave people tons of presents only when she didn't really like them that much (e.g. family members) sort of to put them off the scent, as it were. When I got an expensive present from her, for the first time, I knew that was the end of our friendship (& so it proved to be, we just never contacted each other again).

Lidian

Lidian-Boy that story about your friend that gave expensive gifts - how weird !

Ummmm....nice boyfriend Jessica!

Frig, April! If it were me the next one that had a birthday I would show up without a gift, smile sweetly and say " Oh , I'm sorry since none of you got your son/brother a gift for his birthday this year we thought that we had all stopped exchanging gifts altogether....oh and about Christmas this year...we've decided to just get gifts for the children in our families since Christmas is more for the children and just spending time with our families is what is really important, don't you think?"

YUP!!!!!

I have a reason to b****

Last weekend camping, I got over 78 mosquito bites on my body, most concentrated on my legs...the itching is starting to subside, but I look like I have some sort of disease on my legs. It has been hot here, and when we go out, DH is like "Why aren't you wearing shorts?" Then he cracks up laughing. Here is a shot of part of ONE leg..so you know there is no exaggeration here...I could not hardly sleep for two days after getting them the itching was so bad.

YIKES!!!! That looks PAINFUL.....

Not painful...just itchy to the point of wanting to club yourself in the head with a blunt object.
Aphil

i'm in a no-win situation.
if i am around my in-laws and get upset about their horrid behaviour - my hubby gets mad at me and tells me not to be judgemental and a *****.
if i aviod them, i am a ***** anyway.
so i avoid them. they are all falling apart at the seams, hubby is upset, but i feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hard place. i can't give my opinion, but i'm supposed to be supportive and tell him what i think when he talks about it.
i avoid them all like the plague, and i wonder how it is that my husband is the only acceptable member of society out of all of them.
I don't know what to do. *sigh* I just wish we could move away and get away from it all. It's like a white trash parade or something. They couldn't get any worse if they tried to.
ok. done with my ***** now.

Lizzi, I had some major arguements with my in-laws during the first 8 or so years of our marriage. Now that I'm on anti-depressants, I'm pretty laid back, and we get along quite well.
(okay, except for one of my BILs, with whom I have recently severed connections)
I don't suggest drugs, but I DO hope that things get better for all of you soon.

i have been thinking about getting back on the drugs lately anyway. i was on them before when i was like 17 to 19 and i was also doing umm... other drugs too, so i would like to try now that i'm all grown up and know better and see if they will help.

but i'm kinda scared. i don't want to be empty like last time. though empty would be better sometimes.