I've been thinking lately about weight and if it really makes a difference in day to day life and how we are viewed and treated. I am at my highest weight again, and I was taught growing up that fat people, especially women, are judged and that it can and does effect their social status. However I am realizing not everyone thinks that. I can say in my own experience, that I did notice a difference in attention for men, such as holding doors, when I was thinner, but that's it.
There is definitely something to be said regarding people's perception of "fat" people. And unfortunately different people are going to have different opinions, so it makes it hard to tell if people's negativity is related to a weight prejudice or not.
But I wonder if "being fat" also gives the perfect excuse not to look at other things about ourselves that may not be appealing to others. Instead of thinking maybe people don't like the way we talk, dress, our work ethic, or opinions...is it easier to say they don't like us because we are "fat".
On the other side of the coin, there are going to be peope out there that judge the overweight, and let this influence their overall opinion about someone.
When I was in high school (many moons ago!) there was this girl that was on color guard (I was on poms) and she was probably over 300 lbs. She had friends, but my goodness she (and her friends) were nasty people. She was just a down right B. She never thought twice about making a rude comment, voicing her insensitive opinion without being asked and just treating others like crap. Her friends were of varying weight, including normal weight, but they were mean too. I typically had nothing to do with her, not because she was fat, because she was an ahole.
Strangely enough about a decade after high school, I met her again through a job. She was a little less obnoxious, but still a rude person. She was definitely more tolerable though, and as I became facebook friends with other coworkers (and I eventually left this job, but stayed FB friends with them) she requested me and I ok'ed her.
But over the few years I was friends with her on facebook ( I finally defriended her) she would post such rude stuff. She would vague post stuff like "I hate when people post pics of their kids" so needless to say, she began being defriended by our old coworkers (by this point she had left the other job as well). I finally defriended her when she posted "If one more person posts they are pregnant, I'm going to puke". This post happened to be when I found out I was pregnant again (but didn't post it yet) after having had 2 miscarriages.
There were times she would also post about her weight (still like over 300 lbs) from time to time and she would post about how she was "discriminated" against, or people wouldn't be her friend because of her weight. Everyone said it behind her back, but no one bothered to say it to her face...but it had nothing to DO with her weight...she was just a nasty person that no one wanted to be around. Being thin would not have mattered. But she literally blamed her weight, and therefore never bothered to improve the way she treated people. To top it off, blaming her weight also meant that the "fault" was on everyone else for being weight bigots, instead of her for being a rude and nasty person to everyone!!
I have to say my DH is a perfect example of the complete opposite. He is well over 300 lbs, and he is loved at work. He doesn't ever SAY that because he is humble, but I've seen it when I go in there, at the company Xmas party, his coworkers tell me and even feed back from patients! (I worked with a girl that was his patient, she actually said "I love your husband!" and prompty turned red! lol She said he is an amazing healthcare provider)
His coworkers stop me to tell me what an amazing person he is, including female coworkers. I have no doubt that despite his size he has ladies at work that would take him in a minute!! There have been a few "things" that have been said either over facebook, or in real life, I don't want to go into detail, but I know he has a few admirers.
I've had my family go to his hospital as patients and they tell me DH is "so obviously adored and liked at work. Everyone talks so highly about him". Seriously my DH is living proof that weight is nothing when you are an amazing person with a kind, pleasant, infectious personality!!!
What are your thoughts on this? Where do you draw the line from your weight really having an effect on how people treat you, and at what point do you realize that maybe it has nothing to do with your weight if you are "not liked"? Have you ever known anyone like this, that uses their weight as an excuse for not being liked, but it was obvious that it was more to it than their weight?