I think if you are choosing to share your experience and relate it to the OP, that it not a narissistic response. I agree, and try to do the same...give my experience then relate it to the OP's question or content. I see it as giving "supporting evidence"...My experience, knowledge, story etc "supports" why am I saying what I'm saying to the OP.
I definitely appreciate those types of responses to my posts.
What I was getting at in my OP, is when someone posts something, that is upsetting to them, and someone responses ONLY to say that they do not have to deal with that challenge. That is the repliers only point.
This is different from "I have not dealt with that hardship, but
or support.
Its also different from "I have the opposite situation, which lets me see the positive parts of the OPs situation" example: since your parents are gone even though it must have been hard, it has let you assert you independence and become strong in a way I have not since I still have mine."
And I'm not entirely sure if what I was talking about is the nariccistic reply, athough I loved that article!!! I would expect a narccistic reply to the parent post to be more of a: "Parents really suck though! the other day my dad grounded me for a month because he's a tool"...In that response, the replier completely ingnores the OP and their situation and just launches into their own parental issues.
What I was getting at specifically were replies that only serve the purpose of telling the OP that they, the replier, are another person on the planet that does not have to deal with such hardships. I think when someone has a hardship, especially an unusually one (wild jackals!!
) they are already aware that most people have not had to overcome such tramatic experiences. And they are likely in contact daily with people (coworkers, friends etc) that inadvertantly remind the OP that other people "have it better". i.e. OP is at work and coworker talks about how her and her mom have a mother daughters day once a month. OP is reminded again that she did not have a mom growing up.
When the OP comes to a board to say, "hey I never had any parents, I'm so hurt by this" and another poster responds with "I can't imagine that! My parents are my whole life, and I love them and I could never have grown up to be who I am with out them!" It does not offer comfort for the OP, it only states "I am another person that had it better than you"...
I'm really picking it apart now.
I made the post humerously in response to something I read on this pregnancy board. I just don't think simply telling the OP that you don't have to deal with their challenge is effective or supportive. Now had the replier said something supportive, given a different point of view, or elaborated, then it really wouldn't have been so bad.
There was actually a post here a while back on the shrinking of the "girls" with weightloss and being "small". And topic was women posting about how since losing weight they are unhappy with their new small breasts. Then someone randomly posted how they lost 1 zillion pounds and their boobs were still a 59GGG...I'm exaggerating, but the point it they offered nothing to the thread except to state they they did not have this problem...and what does that accomplish? Nothing for the thread or OP, but I suspect this comes from the offender getting a boost in their own confindence/life/etc by stating to others that they do not have whatever problem/concern is being discussed. In other words, I don't think the motive is to be helpful, I think its for some type of self gain. However, I also supect that the poster doing that in many cases lacks the insight into this, and does not do it maliciously, but rather only feels the positive feelings associated with their reply post telling others about how their situation is not so glum.
Ok off my soap box now!