I feel so ashamed. Lets back this up a bit to 4 years ago. I was fit 145, had abs, ate healthy. Then I got pregnant with my first son, and then another, and then another. My youngest is 9months old. I weigh more now then I did when I went in for my c-section. Today I stepped on that scale and got kicked in the gut. 300lbs. We have started to clean eat. No man made sugars, eating from the earth is what we are trying to do. I almost feel as I have no will power anymore.

I commiserate!

I have four boys. The year before I got pregnant with my first, I was in a skiing accident that tore ALL the ligaments in my left knee. I spent A LOT of time off of it and gained weight. I JUST got it all off when on Valentine's Day 1999, I was hit by a car (I was a pedestrian). In the trauma room, I was told I was pregnant with my oldest son. That was 9 months of being trapped in my little upstairs apartment. My right foot was shattered and I had a manual transmission car; so even if I could get down the stairs, I couldn't drive.

I lost the weight, was feeling good and we decided to THINK about having a second. BAM! The second we thought of it, I was pregnant. My husband is very hands off, immature...he was still going out, not helping at all. I got VERY depressed. I stopped caring one bit about loosing weight. I just felt too bad.

Then came sons 3 and 4. The marriage never improved and I became not just depressed but ANGRY. I wasn't going to lose weight because I knew he thought it would be for HIM. Plus, I was still too depressed to care.

I got on the scale a few months ago and I was 290. That is MORE then I weighed at my MOST pregnant! (And I have BIG babies!) I did cry a little.

I am so sorry that you are feeling bad. It is SO hard to look at that number and feel motivated to try to start losing, what feels like, an impossible amount of weight! I know. I am right there with you. I am trying not just for me, but for my boys. I NEED to be able to play ball or shinny with them. I NEED to be able to walk around an amusement park or the zoo. I am now more tired of feeling tired and depressed to not TRY again. Sometimes, trying becomes doing and that is what I am working towards now.

You are HERE. You are doing SOMETHING. That is a start. That is what matters.

again!

I don't even have children to show for it. I ate myself this way

You will find that the clean eating helps with the will power and the cravings, at least it did for me.

I am so ashamed but my husband says he would love me even if I was 1000 lbs. Its not very comforting when your 4year old always calls you fat. Children, or adults that make comments.

You're taking the right steps for healthy eating! Soon you will see the pounds dropping off! Good for you!

Hugs

You can do this!
Good luck!

Just stick around, there are so many success stories around here that is hard not to get motivated. Take it one day at a time and even if you loose .00001 is still weight out of your system and at the end it all adds up

Clean eating is great, but it does not guarantee any weight loss. It still comes down to calories and burning more than you eat. So many people come back disappointed because they're eating in a healthy manner but aren't losing and they seem to have missed that simple but vital fact.

Come up with a food plan that includes a calorie deficit. It doesn't have to be crazy low, but it needs to be consistent.

You can do this but it's hard to drop a large amount of weight without a solid plan.

Yup, this for me.

When I first started my only goal was to stop the weight gain. I was easily gaining 5lb every other month.

Then I started to focus on small aspects of my eating habits and changing them one at a time. It's all added up into better habits.

You can do this, you really can. You said you were fit before so you already know how to do it.