In just a few hours I will be attending an annual work function at my new size. Last year I was at my highest weight and wearing an XL schmatta. This time I actually went out shopping weeks in advance and purchased two dresses (size medium) to choose from, asked advice from my sister and purchased the perfect accessories. I was ready.
Today I went to work in my sweats and did all of the heavy lifting to prepare for the event and then I changed into my dress. Well, the reaction from my co-workers was overwhelming. I got so many compliments, pictures taken and sent to former co-workers. The board president said "who knew you were holding all those goods?" The lone guy in the office said "wow - that is the best outfit I have ever seen you in, you look great!" Sounds great right? Well, I started feeling so self conscious that I didn't want to get up from my desk. I felt like if I walk past them again the magic would wear off and they would see how ill fitting the clothes really are. I felt like I was a pretender and I wanted to disappear. I felt like the more I moved the more flaws they would see.
I waited for this night for so long and now that I got the reaction I was hoping for, I feel naked and raw. I guess I have a lot to get used to at my new weight.