Well here I am..feeling extremely hopeless at this point. Yes, I am not quite back up to the highest weight in my life but it feels as if my life has diteriorated to the point where there is no other option. I feel a lot of resentment towards my mother right now because back when i was 16, I saw an Endocrinologist who specialized in Womens Health and Obesity issues. She suggested to my mother that WLS was an option back then and that she strongly suggest I get the surgery.. My mother said "No". Well, now I am 27 and have been on almost every single diet imaginable and I have had every eating disorder in the book and every diet fad out there.
See, I have everything going for me right now. I am in University, getting my Doctorate in Youth Psychology. I am married, I have a wonderful daughter who will be 3 in July, we own our own home and I live in beautiful Canada in a small town where you have mountains and oceans surrounding you. There has always been one constant that remains. I am trapped inside the body of a fat person. I am an A+ student with a body that shows nothing to others except " Lazy, un-motivated, gluttonous,dumb". It doesnt matter how many good grades I get in school, or how great my personality is, I still get seen the same way, and the WORST part is. I see myself the same way. I have felt like a boy my whole life because others have told me that I am so fat and so big looking..being 6feet tall..that I could be another "one of the guys". So now I am a frumpy fat 27 year old mom who acts and looks like I am in my 50's ready for retirement.
So what is the point of all this?
Well..maybe the fact that I have succumbed to failure on my own and no matter what I try it never works. Maybe I have watched so many movies and documentaries and have heard of all the success of weight loss surgery and hope that somehow, some day ...somewhere. I will be able to recieve a life changing surgery that will help me regain my ability to be outdoorsy again and my ability to carry my daughter and my ability to walk longer without having so much back pain and be able to socialize more without worrying about being afraid to step out in public..For once. I just want this for me. Now its not for anyone else but me.
So here is the deal: I looked into WLS.. been doing my research. I keep hearing how people are going across boarder to Mexico for their WLS. I came across a website called "Beliteweight". You apparently pay up front if you are Canadian because its a private US company and basically you fly down to place you want to get your surgery done. So for example: If you are wanting to get the surgery done in Tijuana, then you would fly down to San Diego and then they would have a representative from there American Hospital drive you across boarder to their private hospital and you would get the surgery, and then they would drive you back over the boarder two days after you are clear to leave and then of course you would be responsible for flying home to wherever you are in Canada.
In terms of what I can afford..If i play my cards right...I can afford the Sleeve or possibly the Bypass. Problem is: I dont know what is best for me because I dont know what is going to give me the dramatic results that my body needs. Lets face it. I have been between 100-130 pounds overweight my whole life, I have a BMI of 46 i believe now.. and according to the lastest Cat Scan and Ultrasounds..my internal organs are being crushed by my body weight and I am apparently starting down the path of having Fatty Liver Disease..because they already see some areas on my liver that have quite a substantial amount of fat forming.. So..im unhealthy... and i need help..real help.
I guess what I want to know is:
-Are you Canadian? Did you go across boarder for your surgery?
-Was your care good?
-What kind of surgery did you have? What kind of results did it produce and over what period of time?
-Did you have complications?
I need encouragement people. I feel reeeeeeeally lost right now. This is my last hope to live.