I've always tried to stick to around 1200 calories no matter what sort of exercise I was doing, etc, and I'm starting to realize that may be too low. Oddly enough, I did very well with 1200 calories for my entire weight loss journey. It only became problematic for me after I'd been dieting for 6 months, and down to a healthy weight. I'm not sure if it's diet fatigue, or if my body wants to hold onto the last few pounds, thus increasing cravings at this point, but I honestly feel that it was easier to eat less when I weighed more. Either that, or I actually am eating less than I did then. I am a calorie estimator, not a counter, so I could be under estimating, but I don't really feel that I'm eating much differently than how I did in the beginning.

krampus : That is an awesome outcome during your dresses shopping! Being able to say ''this dress is the problem'' and not ''Jesus I should drop weight'' is a WINNEEEEEEEEEEER. Why should you feel guilty about not wanting to get more skinny? You are already skinny, you look great, feel great and enjoy food you eat That is a winning combo to me!

Jessica : Aww sorry you are hitting a rough patch right now. The pressure of the competition probably did not help in all this situation. I don't think we'll ever be able to just get rid on binges : it is normal to have craving for something. Maybe after the competition is over and you increase you cal a bit, this bit more ''room'' to deal with might took off big weight on your shoulders. I truly hope everything will get better for you!

All the others who disappeared : Hope everyone is okay!

***

134.0 again on the scale this morning, which is perfect for me. I hit the gym but cut by 15 minutes my second session of cardio, wanting to save a bit of legs for my 8k scheduled tomorrow, not wanting to die on the path or something. I'm planning refueling with carbs on lasagna tonight, I can't wait!

I don't know if it is some psychological effect on seeing a smaller number on the scale this last days, but today I was quite happy about how my tights were looking (and also ''Jesus, my boobs are smaller''). I haven't felt that good about myself in a while. It feels awesome.

Have a great day ladies!

Hello Ladies! Just have to check in here to keep myself accountable. Still lying super low trying to recover but must remind myself that not feeling well is no excuse to eat the house.....



((((Turbo, Krampus, Joss, Maddie, Bayzee, Olehcat, Jessica, Aidan, Nightbugs))))

So, I'm currently working on putting together some sort of an eating and exercise plan.....things are quite busy as I'm also currently going through some packing and visa things gearing up for an international move! But I have about a month left, and this is kind of a good time to start building some real healthy habits to take with me once things start getting hectic and all new after actually moving.

It's helpful reading everyone's updates to get ideas!! Will contribute more myself soon...

Krampus ~ I agree with Turbo that was a FANTASTIC result in the dressing room. Being able to say "Eff you, dress!" instead of "Eff you, self." = kind of the ultimate victory. And I just have to ask... do you actually HAVE a rifle with which you (or the bf)) would answer the door?

Jessica ~ Good for you for staying accountable, even though you're not happy with your eating habits right now. That alone takes courage.

Turbo ~ Grrrrr! To those rowdy teenagers upstairs. And way to freakin' go with your new lows, girl. You're rocking it. (Did the bf end up cleaning the bathroom...? )

Nightbug ~ It does sound like right now is the best time to start to build new habits. Where are you moving abroad?

Hugs to everyone else I may have left out!!!

~~~
So I'd gotten in the habit of stopping off for a muffin (or two...) before work. A muffin is a better choice than a bagel, but not as good as the fresh fruit that I was having before I went all haywire. Managed to skate past that particular temptation this morning, though, so first win for the day. Hurray!!!

Planning on as light of a day as I can, food-wise. Wonder if I can sneak out for a subway veggie for lunch...? And we have some fresh spinach in the fridge, so will hopefully cook that up with some leftover steak and make m'self a delish salad for dinner.

Hope it's a happy hump day for ya, feathers!

Hey girls!

Just checking in. Back down to 133.4 today after a very healthy, well-balanced diet yesterday. I had a grain, a protein & veggie with every meal. I was realizing yesterday that I have never eaten a completely balanced diet IN MY LIFE. I always ate what I wanted, then dieted. I may have eaten more that way in the beginning, when I first started to lose weight, but I don't really remember. Baby girl & I have been starting every morning off with a "smoovie" & it's such a great way to get tons of fruits & goodies in for both of us

And for those of you who like food porn, I posted this AMAZING dinner I made to Instagram last night:


Cheesy Baked Spaghetti Squash with Grilled Chicken from Skinnytaste.com

Maddie ~ That dinner looks deeeelicious! And fairly easy to make, too! Mmmmmm, squash. And boy do I hear you on the whole "balanced eating" thing. Such a novel concept, right? The only time I purposely include grain in my diet is when I'm bingeing, so props to you for being able to do grain, protein, veg in a balanced setting.

nightbugs : gettin some heatlhy habits before this big crazy move might releive help releive some of the stress. From where and to where are you moving?

Alexis : I'm glad you ask, he never cleaned up the bathroom! In his defense, he really did hurt himself during his run this weekend and is only starting to feel better about this. (I am really starting to wonder WHEN he will decide to do this though :P) Good job on skipping the muffin! It is crazy how a little thing like that can quickly become an habbit, and how it seems to take forever to get rid of an unhealthy habit, huh? Amazes me everytime!

Maddie : A smoovie, this is so cute! Ah wow, this squash looks delish!! For really stupid reasons, I have all the trouble to cook some Spaghetti squash in my place : the boyfriend never wants to eat some, as it ''does not like real spaghetti'' and it kinda feel cheated by the name of the thing or something.

....
....

(yes, you can enter a Are U F kidding me face here :P LOL)

***

Hi girls! 135.0 this morning, but I've been having more carbs this week (cooked a big pot of barley/veggies soup for my daily lunch)/weight lifting yesterday, so water retention could be happening.

I had a nice workout this morning, 8k run around the lake. The cardio was fine but the legs were heavy in the second half because of my the legs workout yesterday at the gym. Felt great to be able to push through it though.

Nothing much to report except that I saw that TLC is gonna have a new show showcasing crazy people obsession and it seems that they are going to have a guy who likes to put a mermaid tail and swim in water with it. OKAYYY. (where do they even FIND people like this)

Have a great day ladies!

Good morning, feathers!

I haven't been popping in quite as much because I'm trying to free my mind from this mindf*** that is me obsessing with weight and then not doing anything and everything. I mean, seriously. I have felt so liberated the last few weeks, my mind has felt completely free. Now I think I probably put on a few pounds over spring break, but I suspect I may have dropped back down a bit the last few days, based on how my clothes feel. Still, I know I'm still right around the usual 145-146 (which shouldn't be usual, but it has been the last year).

I don't know what the solution is for me. I would truly like to lose weight and be somewhere between 110-120. I think that is an ideal weight for me and my frame and height. I am now about 30 pounds heavier than that. I really would like to just drop those 30 pounds but without depriving myself of all the pleasures of life. In order to lose those 30 pounds, I have to make sacrifices food-wise that I am not currently making and don't seem to be willing to make because I feel like life is too short.

I know I said wanted to focus more on health and having a healthy relationship with my weight, but I also don't want to stay overweight (even if it's only slightly overweight). I don't like looking short and dumpy, especially at my age. I miss being "tiny" and looking graceful and slender. But until that desire becomes more important than indulging myself, then *shrugs* it's not going to happen.

Also, why is 1200 calories considered the big number for weight loss? i just see tons of people at all different weights and heights using that as a weight loss number. It seems like so little food.

@Turbo - your weigh-ins have been great lately! Go you! And that dude with the mermaid tail? I think I will just have to watch that -- that sounds completely weird and insane! ;D

@MaddieB - sounds like a good plan for healthy eating! I need to get better at that myself. What do you put in your smoothies in the morning?

@Alex - I'm with you. I find it difficult to eat grain and not eat too much of it! Like cereal? I can't even buy it or keep it at home. No way can I have a reasonable portion of it. I made a basmati rice/daal dish to die for a few days ago. Sounds healthy? Sure, if you eat a reasonable portion of it which is TINY. I tried, but I know I didn't always succeed at keeping the portion right. So I try not to make these things too often!

@Jessica - yeah, your post was one of the reason I asked the question about 1200 calories...I wonder about that long term and whether so few calories would make you want to binge like crazy eventually...

@krampus - Very interesting about the weekend binges and strict eating during the week. Uhg, that's been my major trouble every time I try to "diet". And I think you are at a very healthy point in your weight/maintenance, etc.! You're maintaining around the low 120s and you are still going out and enjoying good food and drink and enjoying life. Sounds perfect to me! I SO wish I was where you are right now -- maintaining around a weight that made me feel and look good....

Hungffff bloated today, 126.8 and had a disappointing poo. I went out to dinner with a friend and had a beer and a HUGE (12 oz) cheeseburger and some fries, so I know why, but I am looking forward to healthier choices. I did run 5K outdoors on an almost empty stomach feeling hungry the whole time and pushed through in 27:25 so my running is getting faster (thanks, lifting and intervals) - I did 26:58 on the treadmill the last time I timed myself. Tonight I'm planning on going to spin class, cooking a healthy dinner and then playing at an open mic. I hope I have time to get it all done...

olehcat It's totally better to NOT obsess about your weight. Have you not weighed since break? At 140s I don't think it really matters that you're a few lbs overweight BMI-wise as long as you don't exist on Ding-Dongs and could run for your life if you needed to! I am more mid-120s than low 120s honestly and for some reason it makes a huge difference - trying to stay sane about it and telling myself it'll resolve itself...

Turbo Saw your weigh-in, NICE! You're getting in amazing shape! Remember when you were just getting back into running and felt so bad about it? That TLC show sounds awesome, is it like "Strange Sex" or whatever where it's just a freak show parade? LOL that your BF hates spaghetti squash for not being spaghetti.

Maddie Mmmmm that squash looks great! I'm glad you are enjoying real food and stuff, you get to eat MORE if you eat real food vs chais right?

Alexis Agh muffins and bagels! Bagels with cream cheese caused my epic weight regain in college and got my dad from a fit 170 to 230+ and obese...no one can say "I'll just have a little" to those! Hope you're feeling all right and aren't sick any more!

nightbugs International move cured my binging problem - that's so exciting! I think a major life change will reset your current lifestyle!

JessicaB 1200 is LOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW for any active adult I feel - how are you doing?

Turbo You are doing awesome! I really admire you and Krampus, because you both seem to do moderation so well. I think a shift in focus to follow more in your footsteps will do me well.

I saw the preview for the mermaid man too, looks interesting.

Alexis I always assumed a bagel was a better choice than a muffin, because a muffin is just like cake IMO. But I suppose it probably depends on the muffin or the bagel, and if you are putting anything on it. I generally try to avoid both anyways, but I did have a muffin for breakfast this morning.

Maddie The spaghetti squash looks delicious. I regularly have spaghetti squash with meatballs, in lieu of actual spaghetti, but that recipe looks really good too.

olehcat I think the reason you'll find that 1200 calories is mentioned a lot on weight loss forums is because there is a ton of info out there suggesting that you not go any lower than 1200 calories a day. I guess a lot of people choose it (myself included) because they want results as fast as possible. I guess maybe it's not a ton of food, but I generally find myself that the hardest part of a 1200 calorie diet is the first week, and after that the hunger levels seem to adjust. I guess for me, I'm just no longer motivated enough to stick to 1200 calories, and have been struggling for so long that I would have made goal a long time ago if I had just tried to aim for maybe 1500 calories or so (assuming that would have curbed the binging behaviors).

krampus I'm still struggling to get back on track, and with my first Easter dinner tomorrow and then another one on Sunday, I'm not anticipating making any progress for a few days. I also gave myself the week off of exercise, because I've just been so exhausted in the mornings. I suppose I'm taking a bit of a mental break, but boy does my timing suck. A couple weeks ago, I had $125 in the bag, and now I'll be lucky if I take 3rd and get $50. Normally money is enough to motivate me, but I guess I somehow feel like it won't make a difference to me personally, and so I haven't been caring about it. I was planning on spending the money on a pricey dog bed, but honestly the dog needs a bed either way, so it's not entirely motivational for me. My husband tends to complain when I spend money on the dog, so I figured if I spent my own prize money, he couldn't say anything... but really, he has no right to complain, dogs do cost money, and he knows this. I don't know if maybe that's why the money hasn't been motivating me. The silly man made a stupid remark yesterday when he saw a $25 receipt for a dog license. I just said, you know, your legally required to license dogs, so I don't know why you're making a big stink out of it. We spend barely any money on the dog, because one of his friend's girlfriends works at a guide dog place, and whenever they have puppy food that is close to expiration, she gives it to us. We literally haven't bought any food for him. Anyways, I'm getting off on quite the tangent here, and I guess my point is because I'm not really making any progress competition wise, my plan is to concentrate on a more reasonable calorie deficit following Easter. There's no reason I can't be happy losing only one pound a week instead of the two I am used to and I really feel like that should solve my problems.

thank you for your welcome, Ladies! I am still here. struggling to go away from 138.
Completed IF yesterday. I plan to have IF once a week. hopefully it will speed up my weight loss a little.

Krampus ~ Dang, but your night sounds busy! What do you play at your open mic? (apologies if you've answered before... violin or something more mainstream?) Bagels are the devil, full stop. But they are just so darn GOOD up here! I'm on the mend, but still annoyingly exhausted all the time. I'm not sleeping well, which is probably down to a worn out mattress, so that doesn't help either. Ah, well. Per your signature: "Push on", I suppose.

JessB ~ lol - bagel vs muffin war. Here in NJ, bagels are HUGE (and fantastic) but easily twice the size of a bagel in any other part of the world. Even without anything on them, they can top out at close to 600+ cals. If a muffin is "only" 400, then the muffin is a slightly better choice.

Turbo ~ awww, too bad about bf's injury. Is he feeling better? And re: the squash. Maybe you can tell the bf that it's "Summer squash" and it's supposed to taste like "summer", not pasta... ( ) Oh, TLC and their crazy shows... I can't watch the "extreme people" that much because it weirds me out, but I'm ridiculously excited for the return of Breaking Amish (season 2)

Olehcat ~ Boy, do I ever hear you on the weight woes. I second Krampus's comment that you're hardly "overweight" at 140, but I know that feeling of just wanting to be better. I feel like most of my trouble is down to sloppy living and psyching myself out.
Have you been down to your ideal weight? How long were you able to maintain there? My goal is around the mid to low 130s and I was down there for about a week back in 2007. It felt fantaaaastic, but wasn't sustainable because I didn't get there the healthy way.

Princess Sophia ~ Congrats on finishing a day of IF! Man, that can be tough. Good on ya for sticking with your plan!


~~~~
It has been bumpy out here... gurrrr.
The madre brought home goodies left over from an exam she proctored last night, so I had a good old eatfest. (pita chips, triscuits, crap store bought bagels, life cereal + pizza)

Am trying to dry out today, but I just went to the bathroom and feel like for some strange reason, I just got MORE bloated instead of less. GROSS!!!

Have a hanging out with friends night tonight, then hoping to take a community yoga class tomorrow. NEED to get back into yoga classes, as those help me tremendously, mind AND body.

Olehcat : Glad to hear you've been feeling better with your mind since you've put the scale away. Concerning your struggles about wanting to lose weight but not sure that you are ready to make the sacrifices, maybe you could focus on maintaining for now, until you figured out what you want to do?

krampus : JESUS you are running FAST. I NEVER ran a fast 5k like that. And yes I think that it is another Freak Show Parade just like TLC can put together LOL (I really want to watch the Guy Mermaid though bwahaha)

Jessica : Sorry about your weight loss competition struggle... But 50$ is still not bad (how much money did you have to put in at first?). I red about what you were saying to Krampus about your husband acting all weird about the money you had to put on the dog... I totally get you, my boyfriend has been acting chep lately, but on ''we don't have the CHOICE'' stuff (like paying our taxes... yes, I know that sucks, do we need to complain about it for 2 weeks? NO lols)

PrincessSophia : Good luck with the IF strategy!

Alexis : I'll try the term Summer Squash...! ... no but seriously, it is a SQUASH, I thought he was messing with me when he was bombed out that it did not taste like pasta. Oh, pita chips! I discovered them 2 months ago and I was hooked on them, they are so good. Hope you'll have fun at yoga!

***

133.8 this morning, really happy about the number. Hit the gym this morning, did a killing Hiking Machine/Elliptical thing, 20 minutes of cycling and a good arms weight lifting program that left my arms shaking. I think I hit the point that week where I was pushing the limits with the weight lifting in terms of arms, I almost dropped a 20 lbs dumbbell in my face when I was doing some Chesspress LOL (hopefully it did not happened :P)

I am getting a bit nervous, because starting tomorrow, I will get in a intense 6 days festival of opportunities of overeating, which is the first time something is happening since Christmas.

- Tomorrow : dining out with 2 friends in a resto where I can get something fairly healthy, but it is also a bring your own wine. At least I'll be driving so I'll just try to sip through the evening.

- Sunday-Monday : We are going to the in-laws chalet, dining and breakfast eating there. It is Easter weekend, so I'm not expecting granola and 0% yogurt and fruits.

- Wednesday : It is the boyfriend birthday. We are eating at home but he gets to pick ANYTHING he wants for dinner.

I can manage one night out without any problem. 4 times in 6 days? I'm nervous just thinking about it.

but YAY it is Thursday and the boyfriend is not working tomorrow. I'm planning to work on my redaction contract while watching an Harry Potter movies marathon with the boyfriend lol (ya know, BUSY OCCCUPATION).

Take care Feathers!

p.s. Has anyone got news from JossFit?

Turbo ~ Man, that does sound like a lot of eating! Interesting you draw the parallel between now and Christmas, because after Christmas, weren't you up a bit, too? But NOW look at you: even lower than before you started the holidays. You've been smart and sensible through this whole losing journey and odds are, you're going continue to make smart but satisfying food/exercise choices in the future.

~~

Lots of emotional eating going on last night. Spent time with a group of friends and it was fantastic, but I just left with so many emotions and I didn't know how to handle them. In the cold light of day, I can see now that a good option would have been for me to go home and scribble about it in rainbow colored sharpie pens. What I actually did was eat a bag of kettle chips and a box of Life cereal. Ugh.


I read this quote yesterday and it really helped me:
"There are no failures, only slow successes."

To paraphrase Beckett: Try again. Fail. Fail better.

Happy Good Friday, to those that celebrate.