Good Morning, Coaches. Slept ten hours last night. Confirmation that I was tired. Beautiful Day this morning. I have promised myself I will work until noon then, if I have written two of my papers, I can go for the nice walk on the Truckee. Yeah for OP yesterday. Food Logged in today. It amazes when I put my food in the calories calculator and see how little I can actually eat. I guess that is why we do it.
Looks like I will brave skiing tomorrow. I won't have a lot of snow expectations.

Best to all.
Mary Ann

Hi folks... checking in. Friday I stayed on my plan, almost. I had two evening snacks again. I need to work that. I did, however, forget to put the chair by the fridge like the dietician suggested. I'll try that tonight.

I made a huge pot of chicken and noodles. Many dinners in the freezer, too.

DH ate the dark chocolate that he got me for Valentine's day. I took one little bite (planned) and got reflux symptoms... I had to try one more time.

I need to start to get ready to go visiting our family. It will be challenging... low sodium, acid reflux and softish food. I will work it out some way. In a way it's almost a good thing I have all these off limits foods... I will have to NO CHOICE to all the goodies they have. I hope I am strong enough to do it.

Gardenerjoy.. I like the suggestions for your free time food dilemma. My dietician suggested putting a chair in front of the fridge to indicate that the kitchen is closed. I don't know why you couldn't do it during the day... using it as an indicator that you have your planned snacks and to stay out of the kitchen at that time.

maryann - I do belong the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators. I have not, however, gone to any conferences. Good idea. Thanks.

Be back on Sunday.

Had DH's family over for his belated birthday celebration today. His two daughters brought not a thing (nearly 16 and 20)... not a card. They're not 4 or 5 and this is something that REALLY bothers me. To not even go to any effort, show up and expect to be served. I am really working hard to not eat my way through this, this evening. I served a large lunch instead of dinner - midafternoon. Then he and I bundled up and walked the trail tonight - I put on three layers of long underwear as the wind chill was 10. Not much talking but we got in some activity. I planned the treadmill but he actually suggested going. Dinner was mini bbq cheddar turkey meatloaves and went over great. I'd picked up the chocolate ice cream cake and was a bit disappointed. Cut my sliver in half and froze the rest as it wasn't worth the calories to me at all.

More positive note tomorrow, hopefully!

I feel like I should be kicked out of the group. I really do. I know I am going through distorted thinking right now, but I allowed my Beck principles to go out the window again at dinner tonight. We have a lake house that we came to this weekend. Usually only come here Spring-Fall, but kids have Monday off, so we decided to come for a few nights. It is always a challenge to eat well here, because it feels like "vacation mode," but I know I can do it because I did it the year I lost 35 pounds. I was going to wait until summer to mention my struggles with eating well at the lake house, but I guess the time has come. Tonight, I was really hungry and my husband (who is usually very supportive of my weight loss efforts) recommended that we go to an Italian restaurant that we discovered last summer. I knew it would be bad news and I wouldn't make healthy choices if we went, so I suggested somewhere else. My hubby and kids really wanted to go to the Italian place, so I fairly easily gave in. And I ate as though Beck did not exist. So now, here I sit, writing this post and feeling like a complete food failure. It is overwith and I know I need to learn from the experience and move on, but I feel like I "should" give myself a hard time for this. Now, my DH is mad at me for writing on here instead of spending time with him. I am just not having a good night! Just wanted to check in and let my coaches know how I am feeling. I have my Beck books with me, but forgot my response cards. Perhaps after I spend some time with DH and kids, it would do me well to get in some late night exercise on the recumbent cycle and create some response cards specifically for the lake house.

Any comments or suggestions or a pep talk would be very much appreciated and welcomed! I feel as though I am on a slippery slope, but I will NOT give up on myself or this weight loss effort!!! I just need to learn to CONSISTENTLY put my words into actions.

Sorry I do not have time for personals, but I am trying to stay as caught up as I can with everyone.

nationalparker: That is too bad that your DH's daughters didn't even get him a card for his birthday. I bet they come around eagerly when they need something from him, right?!? I know it probably makes you feel sad for him and mad at them, but STAY STRONG and do not eat your way through your feelings!!! That only hurts YOU!!! I just wanted to respond to your post real quickly and let you know I am thinking of you and sending you strength!

IBelieveInMe2,
You absolutely do NOT deserve to be "kicked out" of the group. I feel I can very much relate to how you're feeling, b/c I also fall into many of the "distorted thinking" pitfalls. One of them is an "all or nothing" mentality, which try as I might to change...it is very difficult. A counselor told me that certain patterns of thinking are alot like grooves in a record. They've been used for so long, they are VERY automatic. This is where the training of cognitive therapy comes in, changing our thinking pattern. I also have felt VERY MUCH on a slippery slope, still do. We are vulnerable, and at such times we ESPECIALLY need to post. From all I have read of these dear people's exchanges, you will never find rejection, shame, chastisement, just great encouragement and gentle direction. You DID try to change the course of the evening; focus on that. It IS incredibly difficult when you're out of your normal surroundings, in vacation mode. I am planning what to do next weekend when DH and I are going to be away for the weekend, without all my "props" for my food preparation. Anyway, if YOU deserve to be kicked out, then so do I, and I'm not going anywhere!
Hope you have a better tomorrow. (Sheesh, I sound like Scarlett in "Gone With the Wind.")

Ibelieveinme2 - of course, you should NOT be kicked out of the group. We all have our struggles here. If losing weight and keeping it off for life was so easy.. we wouldn't need 3fc and The Beck Diet Solution. You need to forgive yourself, hop back on your plan., and get out your Beck materials. Plan, plan and plan some more. Take it a day at a time.

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Another ding for day 40: Enrich Your Life, CREDIT moi, when DW and I offed to the Institute of Contemporary Art to see the exhibit This Will Have Been. Walked through lightly falling snow to and from the subway. Both exciting and painful to relive the 1970's with its confrontations about AIDs, HIV, Native American rights and other issues - some of it through the photographs of John Mapplethorpe, himself controversial. Contemporary art is exciting, but uber challenging for me; I'm more comfortable with the stuff I've always seen and understood. DW says I'm not contemporary. Oh Well.

Eating was 100%, again, CREDIT moi - again, much needed. Even another Sumo Mandarin for my evening snack. Again, absolutely Yummy. Lunch was the peanut butter and pecan sandwich that I had earlier stuffed in my pocket while sitting in the foyer of the ICA; it's easier to stick to a planned meal if I'm carrying it. We watched workers using huge cranes dredging a corner of Boston Harbor from three fixed barges - beautiful in the falling snow.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Love the notion "packing a sack lunch or a picnic" to another room in the house.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Can't get over the image that you're 'carrying' - albeit a Sumo, LOL. Congrats for trusting Arby's to provide real Alaskan wild cod.

Beverlyjoy – This reads like the secret to success of a long marriage, "DH ate the dark chocolate that he got me for Valentine's day."

maryann - Congrats - sleep is good. google provided stunning pictures of the Truckee River - would love to be walking there.

nationalparker – Kudos for walking in serious cold. Sounds like your DH's two daughters might still be holding grudges from their parents' divorce and need a little nudging to begin the transition to seeing their father as a human being. All kids are challenged making that transition. Alas, it's usually suggested that the Evil Step Mother not wade in. Sending supportive thoughts as you have to watch this unfold.

IBelieveInMe2 – You are one of us. Neither a large meal nor distorted thinking changes that. The challenge is to get past the tsunami of Sabotaging Thoughts so you can seek a strategy for eating at that Italian restaurant since, if it's a family favorite, you'll be going again. Beck lists some good strategies in her chapter on eating away from home. You might start by choosing one for your next trip, e.g. not ordering a personal dessert but planning one bite from your DH's. By happenstance, the Beck quote today can be dedicated to your very situation.

Scarlett (kindercoach) – I'm glad that you're "not going anywhere!" Thanks for the reminder that we're here because we want to be "changing our thinking pattern."

Readers -

Hi Coaches!

Yesterday OP, with the exception of a few extremely small nibbles at work....one small FF...a corner of bread and a taste of some new chips a coworker brought in. After the chips sat in a main area for awhile I moved them out of reach...politely, of course. credit. I've weighed this morning...my brain was trying to talk me out of it and I was happy with the number...geez and I could have just as easily missed it. credit for doing it anyway.

BBE, credit for an OP day made all the better spent with your DW "enriching your life." Your sammie sure struck a smile with me as I read....Yes, i love your line, "It's easier to stick with a planned meal if I'm carrying it." Kudos!

IBelieveInMe2, I hope you are feeling better today. My take is that BDS doesn't say your experience is never going to happen. You are learning skills which will help you to find an effective strategy...whether it be pre,during or post event. You felt bad you posted here. Credit! A new skill at work in your life.

nationalparker, I have two step daughters in their late twenties who are still not too proactive with their dear dad. I can't control it. I've been learning in my life that "letting go" and acceptance help me the most especially as I accept that they may never change. It sounds like you did all you could to make for a happy day for your DH. Credit.

I need coffee.

New day here - sunny morning with a dusting of snow on the ground. It was 16 when I woke up, so while I'm itching to get into the gardens, that will be waiting for quite a while. Didn't sleep well; mind was running loose on things.

His daughters have both talked to us about how the divorce made them all happier - just was not a positive situation before. Early on, she was like velcro - followed me everywhere in the house, through every single aisle in a store, etc. Having no children of my own, I struggled with that. Though their mom is still a screamer/yeller, they are raised to be the center of her life - no chores, no help with anything. Which isn't flying when they're here. A few months ago I REALLY was aggravated with an issue with the younger one; she wouldn't choose a birthday card that DH was paying for for her grandma- she just wanted to look at makeup and then pouted when he wouldn't buy it. SERIOUSLY? He was disgusted and I was furious when I found out. This is so so different from the way I was raised and as you say, Bill, my opinion would not be welcome. But now and then I've had a straightforward talk with her about expectations we have in our home. These weekends are such a stress on me. I need to come up with some coping mechanisms because I certainly don't want DH to not look forward to his kids' visits, infrequent as they are.

IBelieveInMe - I feel for you - many of us have the "Oh, no, I blew it all" mentality when we go off course - even in one larger unplanned meal. I feel as if more damage has been done than actual. Credit for trying to change their restaurant choice! We'll work with you to come up with some plans to not view that as vacation mode. I feel for ya!!

GardenerJoy - Thank you for posting about your eating when DH is out issue; I like knowing I'm not alone. I find myself doing the same thing and am trying to break the desire to graze when DH is working opposite schedule of me - coming up this week for two weeks. He doesn't care what I eat; yet I find myself almost wanting to eat things I don't eat when he's around (instant mashed potatoes and salad for dinner. MAJOR comfort food!) ha ha... I have no advice - just understanding.

Bill - Sounds like you put together a superb Saturday in all aspects! Good job! I have never heard of a pb and pecan sandwich, but will share that with DH as he loves pecans. Me - I love Trader Joe's natural peanut butter

Lexxiss - Major credits for weighing and what a nice treat to receive! Happy Sunday! Do you have to work all weekend? Hoping not!

My eating didn't get much better yesterday -- another disadvantage of letting things go on Friday, it triggered further problems on Saturday. So, today, I have a fully written plan to follow (credit!). That should help. It usually does.

Exercise: +80 715/1300 minutes for February

Beverlyjoy: I like the idea of a big visual cue to remind me that the kitchen's closed -- I can implement that!

IBelieveinMe2: Are there healthy choices that you could make at that particular restaurant? I have pre-planned meals at all of our favorite restaurants so that if we make a last-minute decision to go to one, I swap the pre-planned meal into my day's plan and consider myself 90% on plan for the day, which is still an excellent grade. Maybe while you are at the cabin now, you could plan your meals for your entire spring stay (subject to change, of course). That would be a good use of this weekend whether or not you eat as well as you could now.
If that sort of slip caused a person to be kicked out of the group, I would never have lost my weight! These things happen. Beck teaches us to learn from them.

BillBlueEyes: good for you for checking out the contemporary art even if it wasn't your thing.

Hi Coaches... checking in. Yesterday was mostly OP. - grateful.

My mom came over for dinner yesterday. We all had chicken & noodles, spinach, & DH and Mom also had some Bob Evans mashed potatoes. I said No Choice to the mashed potatoes and cookies that my mom brought over. Credits. DH insisted on mashed potatoes because his Grandma always had mashed potatoes with chicken & noodles. His family has food traditions that don't waver. Mom took the rest of the mashed potatoes home. YAY

Some other credits included: plan/measure/log food, sodium, water, exercise, no seconds, leave a bite and I read my arc/rc.

I did, however, have two snacks again in the evening. I couldn't resist tasting DH's chocolate covered malted milk balls candy. (in Easter fashion) I will work on doing better in the evening.

I've decided that when we go on our trip to see our family (GS's sixth birthday) I will bring several of my low sodium foods. I know I can't be as precise as home. I'll do the best I can. Twice in my long life I've eatening in a sane manner while on a trip or vacation. (Not many times..eek.) In the past.. moving forward.

The past three nights I have woken up at 3:00 am. I haven't eaten anything (Credit)- however. I need to keep myself up later or something. By evening I am SO tired. Tired can reek havoc on my food plan.

Hoping you are all having a GREAT day.

Hi all!

Weekends are hard. Saturday wasn't too bad, but today, Sunday, we got up late and didn't have breakfast, so had our lunch, and then went to dinner as planned. I had planned a (pre-portioned) treat for this evening--but substituted a bigger (pre-portioned) one :-(. I'm still within calorie ranges, but it wasn't to plan. I need to work on that. It also tells me that it works much better for me when treats are pre-portioned--and I'm not going to buy any more of the one that I gave in to!

Credits for tonight--next week's meals are planned for shopping and tomorrow's food is already entered into MFP.

Tomorrow I'll pick up the results of last week's blood work. I know it's much improved, but I have to compare the numbers side by side to understand them properly.

We have a huge food-centric weekeend-long event in March. My sabotaging thoughts were telling me that I could just enjoy myself and then start up again on Monday. My talking-back voice wasn't being insistent enough--but it does keep whispering: easier to stay on track than get back on track. Easier to stay on track than get back on track. (I just made a response card that repeats that 7 times--different colors, different fonts)

Given that, I'm trying to come up with a practical strategy that includes some indulgences--but doesn't derail me. One thing that occurred to me is that I could save a few of my favorite baked goods, package 1 or 2 pieces as a snack, and freeze them--and enjoy every so often over the following month--as planned and controlled treats.

My BFF and I are in charge of the food so there will be a lot of healthy and on plan options--fresh fruits, veggie trays, salad bar for lunch, fresh sandwich fixings, boiled eggs at breakfast time. I don't have to be derailed over the weekend. But there will be incredible quantities of sweets and baked goods, though. (This weekend, I lined up others to bake: <I typed the list and then deleted it--don't want to make everyone else think of all those sweets!>)

I have 4 more weeks to get myself in gear for it--including the baking I need to do without over indulging. This is going to be hard--but lots of people bake without stuffing themselves with crumbs and the "broken pieces". I can learn to do that, too.

We spent several hours this weekend working on the plans--we're actually a bit behind because I've prioritized weight loss over the gathering. It just means we have to work smarter--since planning and measuring and logging is staying a priority for me.

Beverlyjoy: YAY for DH eating the chocolate bar before you tossed it! If you've eaten in a sane manner on a trip TWICE then that means you can do it--you have past successes to look at, so you know it's something you can succeed at--you've succeeded at it in the past.

BillBE: Wondeful on 100% eating. When you share some of the things you do--and walk to--I am so envious of having all of that available to you.

gardenerjoy: You got some suggestions that sound really good. I know that I do best with "action plans" rather than "don't do" plans. If I am tempted to get a snack, I am going to do <X>--where <X> could be the baby carrots on a tray. I hope Sunday went more smoothly with its written plan.

IBelieveInMe2: Mistakes and falling off the path are part of the process. It sounds as if you are coming up with strategies to deal with the lake house and deal with eating there. One thing that struck me was that you felt you "should" give yourself a hard time. I don't think you should--in fact, I think you should give yourself credit for recognizing the issue, checking in with all of us about it, realizing you'd need to work on your approach for the lake house. There is no real room for giving yourself a hard time if you're working on improvement--you were right with the "move on" concept.

kindercoach: How did your shopping go with your sister?

Lexiss: Credit for navigating WhFoods w/o sugary treats. Credit on getting on the scale--and liking the number!

maryann: What a lovely weekend to be in Lake Tahoe. Big credits for not digging into DS's candy! Food logging is said to be one of the most powerful tools a weight-loser can adopt--even if it does amaze us how many calories are in foods!

nationalparker: How are you doing with the snacking at the computer? All I can say about stepchildren is that they're hard. (Or rather mine is. DH's stepchildren are awesome.)

Hope this is a start to a great week for everyone!

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Only left the house all day to shovel snow after it had ceased blowing horizontally with high speed. CREDIT moi for that exercise.

Even though suffering a bit of cabin fever, I ate on plan, CREDIT moi, including only one of my three planned snacks. Unfortunately, my supply of Sumo Mandarins is depleted, so evening snack was California Navel Oranges. It's so hard to reconcile happy, sunny citrus fruit with snow blowing horizontally.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Such a pain that yesterday's drift off the path affects today's journey.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – LOL at "politely" moving the offending chips. Kudos for getting your head to make yourself priority #1.

Beverlyjoy – It's news to me that mashed potatoes is what goes with chicken and noodles - not visualizing much green there, LOL. Yep, the evil Easter candy is already on the shelves.

nationalparker – Kudos for venting here to clear your mind for dealing with your step daughters. [Yay for natural peanut butter - I take mine straight out of the grinder at Whole Foods.]

Beth (bethFromDayton) – Now that's a super plan, "indulgences--but doesn't derail me." I always like hearing how to avoid the over-restrictions that encourage derailment.

Readers -