I recently resigned from my job to help my Mother take care of my Father, whose health had been declining over the past few years. Doing so has lead to a major weight gain. I have always been thicker, but now I’m just grossly fat. I went from 170 (a weight I’m comfortable with even though I’m only 5’6, I have a large body frame so I always look about 20 pounds thinner than I am) to 250 in just over 8 months.
I’m not going to lie in my younger days I have had addictions to various drugs mostly downers, speed was never really my thing, but just about all the drugs I did helped me maintain a decent 120-130 lbs which I would love to see again, but not at that price. I have been clean now for almost 8 years and learned to be happy at anywhere from 160-175, I look good I fit into a 12-14 depending on the designer, and am able to more outdoor activities which I love to do. Now my addition has turned to all my Mothers wonderful homemade eats, which is more additive than heroin, lol
I know I am eating both out of depression & boredom, and the fact that I have server osteoarthritis in both knees and ankles due to years of dancing and sports makes working out painfully difficult, my doctors have told me to stick to water aerobics to keep from doing anymore damage to my joints, but getting to a pool to do this is just not possible, at least not right now. I bought Tai Chi DVD series which a chiropractor recommended to help keep limber without doing anything to strenuous, but I’m not going to lie it’s been setting on the entertainment center for over 2 months now.
Yes, I’m having a hard time getting motivated to even pop in a simple DVD, and I hate myself more and more each day for it. I spend most of the day running errands for my parents and helping my Mother take my father back and forth to doctors appointments, doing his P.T here at the house, cooking, cleaning and chores that they I don’t comfortable with my Mother doing. I feel like I spend most of the day thinking about how one day I will no longer have the 2 people I care most for in my life, no longer here to cherish; so food, the food I grew up loving and my Mother making has become a great source of comfort to me. I spend part of the day in the kitchen with my much beloved Mother making cookies, cakes, breads along with a ton of homemade Southern style comfort foods that take me back to some of the best days of my childhood.
I just started using an application call “Lose it” which help me track my caloric intake, I’m going on day 4 and am happy to say I have stuck to my allotted caloric intake for the past 4 days now.
I pray that between this forum and that application I will be able to feel like I able to take control of my weight once again. I know I at least need to pop in the Tai Chi DVD’s and make an effort to do them at least once a week to feel better about the situation I have let get out of control.Thanks for reading my long winded explanation of how I let myself get to this point.
