Back story…
I’m going to call her my “Amazing” friend for this post as you may want to substitute “Amazing” for something else by the end of it… My “Amazing” friend and I have been friends since 7th grade, putting us at 16-17 years of friendship. Since middle school I have had other friends tell me about this “other side” of my “Amazing” friend, but I had never seen it and won’t write off someone because of what other people say. This past November she got engaged and asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. My "Amazing" friend is getting married in the summer of 2014. At the end of December we decide to become buddies on the Lose it! ap and work on losing weight together starting the day after New Year’s. My “Amazing” friend is the same height as me, but about 180lbs. whereas I started at just shy of 285. We’re built very differently however. She was a sprinter in high school, I was a thrower in high school and ended up competing as a competitive weight lifter and thrower in college. We may be the same height, but there is a big difference in our goal weights. Even though my goal weight is about 25-30lbs. higher than hers, I still have a lot more weight to lose. Annnnnnnd…
The whole idea of being buddies on Lose it! was to give each other support. I’ve lost 15lbs. since January 2nd, my "Amazing" friend has lost 4lbs and for the last week, I have been getting these comments from my “Amazing” friend … “you’re not eating enough calories.” “400-500 calories are way too many to burn in one workout.” “I want a scale like yours.”
I’ve been ignoring her comments and pushing on. I am eating the suggested calories; I’m just not eating my exercise calories so it looks like I’m eating less than I should. I know I’m doing okay… And the my "Amazing" friend goes nuts… Here is out text messaging conversation from yesterday…
“Amazing” friend: Bridal party is all set
Me: Cool, the girls are?
“Amazing” friend: Not you.
Me: Huh?
“Amazing” friend: Not you.
Me: Ok… Can I ask why?
“Amazing” friend: I can’t have anyone in my bridal party that might look better than me on MY day.
Me: Ummmm… What?
“Amazing” friend: Really? You know what! You can still come to the bachelorette party and even the wedding, but you’re not a bridesmaid anymore.
Me: This is a joke right?
“Amazing” friend: No.
Me: Hmmm… I think you can count me out on the bachelorette party and the wedding.
“Amazing” friend: Now you’re being selfish.
Me: Deleting you now…
In a five minute span I get…
“Amazing” friend: Seriously!? Don’t be childish.
“Amazing” friend: Can’t we talk about this?
“Amazing” friend: Hello?
“Amazing” friend: Really? Ignoring ME???
And it went on for another few minutes before it finally stopped…
Today I get a phone call from her mom telling me that my “Amazing” friend had a bad night last night and wants me back in the wedding… WHA…??? I’m still pretty ticked and not sure how I feel about this whole wedding thing… I’m really thinking I should say no… If we were best friends… maybe… but we weren’t and I don’t know how I feel about our friendship as a whole now. Yes, people have a bad day. But what’s going to happen when I stick with the program and lose the weight? Is she going to give me crap the whole way? Should I really have to tell her to back off when she knows what it’s like to be overweight and what a struggle it is to lose the weight?
So annoyed right now…
***1/23/13 UPDATE***
*Update*
My friend (I’m not ready to completely give up on our friendship) and I talked this evening and are planning to get together to spend some time trying to talk this out on Saturday. I want to say thank you to those of you that realized that this post was a vent post as well as a thank you to those who made me take a step back and take another look at both the situation as well as this post. I was angry and should have taken some more time to think things through before putting this post up. I have a tendency to be hot headed as well as sarcastic shortly after something has made me really upset and this post unfortunately reflected that. I posted shortly after talking to my friend’s mom… As for the situation itself; I admit that my “deleting you now” text did not help the situation, however it was very late at night, I was upset and I lashed out. I would also like to point out that I did not ask to be a bridesmaid nor did I EXPECT it. I was asked.
We are no longer friends on Lose It! I never bragged about my weight loss or made a big deal about it with my friend as it is something I normally don’t even talk about with friends, family, etc. (my past experiences have been full of others around me trying to micromanage my weight loss). Sharing how I was doing with someone I see regularly was completely new to me and I let the ap itself do the “sharing.”
As for what I “did” to potentially cause this situation. My friend has said nothing, I can’t think of anything and we believe it was actually the result of something that occurred between my friend and someone else the night before. My friend spent Sunday watching Season 7 reruns of The Biggest Loser with another friend of hers. This woman at one point compared me to Tara and somehow it turned into a conversation about where we will all be in a year which somehow led to my friend becoming very upset. I don’t really understand it, but hopefully she will be able to clarify this weekend.
As for the wedding… I don’t know. I’m leaning towards attending, but not being a part of the wedding party. Again, Saturday will hopefully help me answer some of the questions above.
As for the “petty” women posts, etc. Ummm, wow..? I’m glad to see that people realize pettiness is not gender specific.