Last week the VP of Operations asked me "how many tons have you lost?" He did this infront of one of his employees.

I replied with a lot and he just said no really how many lbs...he wouldnt let it go until I told him over 50 lbs.

What the heck...how many tons...what am I an elephant or something. It was humiliating.

Ragdoll I am so sorry to went through this. I think that it reflected poorly on the VP and not one of the people hearing this would be anything but admiring you. I am sensitive the same way. For some reason I won't say I lost over 40 lbs (my DH picked up on this).

How aweful I'm sorry you were humiliated. He's a nobody, so don't let him get the satisfaction. You're beautiful inside and out

This makes so much sense to me. When I first came home from my doctor's appointment with all the IP food, my DH's comments were all along the line of: 1. So how many hundreds of dollars did this cost us? 2. So I guess we're going to throw out all the Lean Cuisines and yogurts? 3. It's a quack diet (e.g., There is no difference between cooked and raw onions; What do you mean you can't have x or y?), 4. So how long are you going to stick to this before you give up like all the other times?, 5. How much are you going to/have to lose? I don't want you looking like xx (he named a couple of friends), 6. I guess this means we'll be eating dinner separately each night (I pretty much had him eating his words when I brought home a couple of petite Filet Mignons for dinner that night), 7. I can't believe you chose right before the holidays to start! (I guess that means no champagne on NYE; I guess you're not going to be able to eat or drink anything on Christmas Eve at the party we're having catered. (BTW, I went on to name a bunch of stuff on the menu that I could eat given proper planning.))

I think he's seen me try similar diets in the past and then go back to the way I always ate and drank, resulting in the weight coming back. I'm trying to have faith in myself and stick with it, and I do have to say he's getting better and being a little more supportive (although he's told me not to cook any more cauliflower since he can't stand the smell ... LOL). I think he's mostly concerned about the expense and about the effect on his life, but I think he's starting to see that this is important to me and to my health. That said, it's not always easy to disregard the negativity and not let it turn into self destructive behavior.

That's horrible. I'd be down in HR making a formal complaint. It was a totally inappropriate and insulting, if not downright discriminatory and harassing, comment.

My hubby started out lukewarm.
I've had to bring him around.
I recently completed a class for which he is VERY PROUD of me and he gloats at every opportunity (it is kind of embarrassing). The other nite I asked him if he has been talking about my weight loss in a similar manner b/c I am probably more proud of that than I am of completing the class. I think he "got it" and is putting it into perspective slowly.
A really good male friend of mine put it into perspective for me: It doesn't matter to DH. He loves me no matter what. I want it to matter to him more than it does. The flip-side of that is that he could have been harassing me about my approximately 80 lb weight-gain. Yes, I gained approximately 80 lbs since we met in 2003
I have now lost 45 of that
My goal is that I will be SMALLER than when we met (anniversary of when we met is in May...wedding anniversary is July - it was 4 years later). I'd like to be smaller in May, which will mean 45 more lbs by May. We'll see what IP will bring...

Ragdoll: I agree with bubbleblower here. Depending on your level, either a frank discussion with the VP or a visit to HR is probably in order. Had he left it alone after your first response, I'd chalk it up to poor word choice. Since he didn't leave it alone, you were harassed.
Oh my, these work situations are SO uncomfortable on so many levels!

rofl306 & sahmmommy2 Thanks


lisa32989 & bubbleblower- My boss was traveling last week so I did tell him about it this morning. He was really angry that the VP-Operations would say that. I'm not sure what will come of it though. The more time that has passed since this happened, the more upsetting it is to me. How does someone become a VP if they do not know that some words are innapropriate?

bubbleblower - glad to see he is coming around. It's so much harder to do this when the one's you love are so skeptic.

How many tons. Wow. I applaud your decorum. I'd be out looking for a job and he'd be interviewing new scrotums!

My brother in law to be is an odious little troll. To save me paragraphs, lets just say he is far from attractive, and ought to be in jail for many many things. I've had the lousy luck of knowing him long before my sister in law latched on to him; we grew up together.

Now, I've always tried to have a sense of humor about my weight, and I recognize now that a lack of self esteem led me to say things at my own expense I never would again; heavy or not. Well, troll boy took this as license to do the same. We were sitting around a campfire and, and I fell backwards off the log I was on. I was at my heaviest, and struggled a little to get up. Troll boy immediately went into a whole big "beached whale" routine. My brother was there, and I will never forget the look on his face. Had I not made a big show of laughing along, I'm sure my brother would have taken him out.

Now his favorite thing to do when I get compliments on my progress is to needle me to say my highest weight, or ask me "How many hundreds" I have left to go.

Karma has it's rewards though. Now he's doing doubletime to impress my inlaws, and he knows that I know waaaaayyyyyy too much, so as much as it kills him, he is a sweet as he can be to me now, at least in front of family.

Can't believe someone would say something so horrible like that to you. Karma is B@#$...hoping you get some pay back!

I have submitted my resume to 3 companies since the remark from the VP, and if says something like that to me again I can't guarantee I will be professional this time. With my raging hormones on IP, and PMS lurking he better keep his mouth shut.

WOW Ragdoll, that comment was so inappropriate I really hope you get some satisfaction from your boss. If not, I would go up the ladder until someone took me seriously. Does your company have an in-house legal department? If so, that would be my next stop after HR if nothing was done. At the very least you deserve a formal apology and he deserves a formal reprimand. And since what he did was in public the apology should be too! congrats to you on your loss and your strength of character.

You might want to check out these resources. I'd definitely go to HR or or *his* immediate supervisor. The VP should be held accountable and put on notice that this behavior is neither appropriate nor acceptable. Obesity is covered under ADA. (Disclaimer: I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice, just my personal opinion based on my personal and professional experiences and knowledge as a long-time supervisor/manager. )

http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-a-ho...nvironment.htm

http://www.ehow.com/about_6455970_il...bal-abuse.html

http://employment.findlaw.com/employ...arassment.html

My son just reminded me of what I taught him to do when people were verbally ignorant to him. Just simply make them uncomfortable by saying something simple like "That was rude." and then continue on what you were doing and ignoring their comment. It's really bringing up "the elephant in the room". It was his comment that was uncomfortable and rude not your weight loss.

I do believe that we spend way too much time being nice to bullies.

We do. And I wish we held adults to the same standards. My best friend has a 5 year old daughter that identified me as "fat Jane". She was 5. I was fat and my name is Jane. Makes sense. Of course her mother told her she couldn't say that and admonished her to call me Jane or "tall Jane". This kid wasn't doing anything out of cruelty, but she was told to behave better.

Adults do it full well knowing that they're being cruel, and we've decided it's "classier" to just let them get away with it. I don't necessarily think it makes us a better person to ignore it, because maybe if we say something we'll save someone else the hurt later on. (I do understand in some situations it's best to just let the ignorant run rampant though.)

I look at it this way (and I've actually said this): I am strong enough to handle being mocked, picked on and treated like a second class citizen because you believe that sloth and stupidity led me to obesity. I could walk away, but I won't because maybe if I shut your sorry mouth up now, you won't say something to someone who's in worse headspace than I, and destroy someone who's too fragile to stand up for themselves. I'm changing my life because I love myself; You can't make me hate me.

The sad thing is that every couple of years, all of us managers have training about discrimination and harrassment. This man is just such a jerk, he constantly makes comments to people. It's never pointed at one person, and he just thinks he is being funny.

Last summer I bought new shirt that was a really nice bright pink for summer. I can't remember the comment he made, but it was just hurtful enough that I never wore that shirt again.

I report to a Senior VP, and he said he chewed him out at their staff meeting this morning. I kind of got the impression that was as far as the punishment went.

I guess our Director of HR didnt think the remark was so offensive that it warrants an apology. I'm feeling really dissapointed by upper managements reaction to this, or lack of caring.

I really don't want to be here right now, just want to go home.

I'm sorry that your situation isn't getting the treatment it should ragdoll. Just keep in mind that you wouldn't get a sincere apology anyway. Douchebags are douchebags, hr reprimands or not.

You have lost 58 pounds. That is amazing, and probably a bigger accomplishment than this particular winner has ever achieved in his life. Don't let a guy like this make you hate your job or keep you from wearing pink. I know how hard it is, but you've done amazing things, don't let this guy diminish them!