A golden October morning here in Michigan!

I'm doting on Flannery O'Connor these days and read this quote:

“Accepting oneself does not preclude an attempt to become better.”
― Flannery O'Connor

I do like that. For me, a warm, forgiving support system too often ends in self-indulgence and self-defeat. I somehow read that as permission to sink back into eating all the gooey stuff! That's what I like about Beck--it rests on plain good sense, not too warm and fuzzy, not too 'Drill Sergeant'. It helps me review consequences [I know you teachers love that word!] and make a choice based on what I said I wanted to do here, that is Lose Weight!

Plan is set up for the day, looking forward to tonight's VP Debate!

spanky

maryann "I feel like a prisoner released from a life sentence." This sentence really spoke to me. I hope to know what that feels like soon!

I'm having difficulty being mindful of what I'm eating. Somehow I silence the inner voice that's responsible for telling me the things that Dr. Beck says I should write down on response cards.."I'm really craving chocolate right now, but if I just wait 10 minutes, the craving will probably go away" etc. And the thing that kills me is that silencing the voice takes a conscious effort from me! The voice starts to tell me what I should/should not be doing and ANOTHER voice drowns it out with a loud "I don't care, I'm going to eat this!" (Again, internal voices...I'm not a loon who argues with herself out loud!) If I can consciously overrule myself, why can't I consciously do the right thing?

I'm still reading the pink book and so far the only card I've made has my reasons for wanting to lose weight. Does everyone else actually write response cards? My problem is that a physical card is hard for me to keep track of; if I put it in my purse, it invariably gets a piece of gum and a penny stuck to it. I'm considering using my smartphone for both the advantages and the response cards. Would love any feedback you guys have on this.

I will give myself credit for purposely driving in the lane farthest away from the McDonald's so I don't "accidentally" stop there for breakfast. This week I'm going to focus on finding the time and will to exercise. I haven't exercised in 10 years and I'm going to have to wake up 1 hr earlier in the morning to do it. Wish me luck!

maryann I make all my lists in the notes ap on my iPhone. The nice thing is that I can keep and add to them as necessary....... and they don't end up wadded up with gum stuck on them.

On Facebook and Twitter, there are Beck thoughts each day. I thought yesterday's tidbit was pretty profound.

I'll be glad to add them here each day if it would be helpful. I know it would make me look for them instead of just happening across them every now and then. If you are all already getting them, then let me know that it isn't necessary.

HaleyJu that was my post you were responding to, I had just mentioned maryann's quote at the beginning of it. Thank you for letting me know about Beck on twitter and facebook...I'll check them out but I would love it if you'd post them on this thread! That'll encourage me to stop by here everyday.

Thanks!

Going to bed early last night did wonders for my attitude today. I think I'll try that again. Credit today for going to yoga and keeping the calories in check. We had chinese for dinner and I did not eat rice --I'll call dinner a wash. Credit for not eating the rice, but a negative for eating the stuff in the sweet and sour sauce.

Some Beck tips from earlier this week and last Friday -- they seem to be aiming for the same target.
I struggle with eating too fast and have to make a conscious effort not to bolt it down. The Tuesday Reality Check statement makes so much sense. Why didn't I think of that myself........... Oh wait, if I had always had that kind of mindset I wouldn't be here now.

Hi Coaches,

Luxy: I created a computer spreadsheet to hold a lot of my Beck related information. Cards never worked for me either. I enjoy changing/adding/removing notes as I learn about my triggers, so using the electronic format turns out to be best for me. Keep trying things and eventually you'll find a system that fits you well.

My big credit for the day was that I didn't 'sneak' food due to stress or opportunity. Knowing I"ll check in with my spreadsheet in the evening does wonders for me. Having a plan and being honest with myself about it has been an important skill I have developed.

Thanks for being here everyone!

Hello, friends.

I'm still struggling with all of this teaching and grading, and now applications for tenure-track jobs, and finding the time to plan / record food, cook healthy, and exercise. So this is the task I've set myself, which is to marinate on how I can balance these things out. Recognizing that I may currently be in a learning curve; so much of my workload has to do with everything being new.

Actually, here is a credit: just finished working out at home in the room even though the DP had already gone to sleep. Feel good about that! I may need to just work out later at night. I can do this if I don't drink wine in the evenings. And, revelation, one result is the same: relaxation.

The Beck books sit next to the bed in my line of sight; my food journal sits on my office table. At least these things are in my line of sight.

GOALS: work out 2 more time this week; get food ready for next week; keep trying to plan and record food; keep weighing in and keep checking in.

Big hugs to all!

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Did gym, CREDIT moi, after debating that it better served my growth to sit and read Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World by the Dalai Lama. Such a compelling Sabotaging Thought to pose an alternative to exercise that was itself a noble use of my time. Then I remembered a picture I'd seen of the Dalai Lama performing his morning reading . . . on a treadmill wearing running shoes. Oh Well, off to gym I went. I'd have to carve time to learn ethics out of something else.

Eating was good enough, CREDIT moi, with larger snacks, Ouch. I did stand down a couple of compulsions to grab something to nibble - CREDIT moi for the times that I didn't indulge. Salad at dinner had only three cherry tomatoes from the back yard - clearly the last as most that remain are splitting on the vine. The season of garden veggies, except, of course, kale, might be over.


Mary (MaryContrary) – What a terrific insight - both exercise and wine produce relaxation. Kudos for continuing to examine your life even while under the stress of the huge workload of full time teaching.

Woodland - Yep, Super Kudos for avoiding anytime that the word "sneak" is associated with food.

spanky - Neat quote from Flannery O'Connor - good to be reminded that acceptance doesn't mean stagnation. Useful insight for me that Beck "helps me review consequences."

HaleyJu - I'd enjoy your reposting the daily Beck tips. Yay for early to bed - I'm a believer. Chinese food is tough for the calorie conscious.

luxy - Kudos for taking a physical action to help you avoid McDonald's. I keep my Response Card in an Excel Spreadsheet where it's easy to modify. Physical cards wouldn't work for me. Sending you supportive thoughts for getting started on your exercise plan.

Readers -

Hi All,

Still here, I have not checked in all week Reaching out to others has always been hard for me. Still reading the book and just started the workbook which I am loving.
I have become aware of how the "mindful eating" is a huge problem for me. Since the kids are gone we have started sitting in front of the tv to eat, or else I am on the computer. I plan to work on this.
I have weighed and measured food and written down everything in the past so this has been fairly easy for me to get back on track.
Still feel silly posting the notes everywhere, but I will. I do not want people thinking "here we go again, Linda is on another diet!" I have worked at the same job for 15 years and co workers have seen me go up and down in size every year!
I have lost 8 pounds since beginning Beck. I had started the diet prior to the book.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend, I am going to go out for a walk on this beautiful fall Idaho morning!
Linda

Hi Coaches!

I've enjoyed getting some outdoor exercise as the pool weather is still quite nice. I did weigh, although the scale at our club is quite unreliable. credit anyway. Food has been better than last trip and we enjoyed visiting the local organic farms for the last of the fresh produce. Last eve we ordered pizza (almost unheard of anymore). I ordered a vegetarian, light on the cheese. When we picked it up I was happy as it had almost no cheese, which fit into my plan much better. DH even liked it. I had two slices, resisting the urge to eat more. credit.

BBE, I had to google and enjoy the photo of DL on the treadmill. What a nice image. Glad you got to the gym..

OK, off to the pool for water aerobics then back over the hill.

Good Morning, Coaches.
I seem to have fallen off the grid for a bit. This is normal when I have work due for the MFA and I teach Tuesday-Thursday. I sponsor people in AA plus have a sponsor. Then of course, there is mandatory snuggling with DS. This morning we sat on the couch and planned to cook some nut bread recipes from Cooking Light but mostly we just like sitting under the blanket together. These are the golden times for my son and I. I am so grateful I am not spending them in a cycle of overeating and remorse - the way I spent my teens and twenties.
Luxy reminded me of my own quote "A prisoner released from a life sentence.
DS is going to outdoor education camp for a week starting on Monday. I can't believe my baby boy is so confident and accomplished. I am going to keep busy the week he is gone - catch up on writing homework, work out, stare at dh and say, "What do we do now?" Good thing I really like DH or I would be up a creek.

Reading all the posts, I caught the thread about teaching. Teaching and nursing (I have noticed) are rife with overeaters. Our staff rooms and clientele push food on us all the time. Dangerous. I haven't written too much about my new job - first time out of the classroom in 22 years. I guess I haven't wanted to jinx anything. The job is a dream - promoting a writing and reading program that focuses on novels and creative writing - three days a week, full benefits. The faculty I am working with trusts me because I know the trenches and I am willing to go into the classrooms and work with the kids. Credit that I have built up credibility.

All in all - great stuff but the food creeps along - maintaining but no loss. I think it was Woodland who said, "Why do I do this to myself?" (paraphrase) I guess my answer for today is "I am not exactly the woman I want to be but I am certainly not the woman I was. Somewhere in between is the progress not trampled on by a murderess perfectionism."

Best to all.

Today's Beck Tip:
Had a larger than usual lunch today. Tracking the meal required some considerable guess work. Dinner is still TBD. I will be mindful of what and how much I eat, though. I am so glad it's Friday even though I'll likely have to spend an entire day this weekend trying to catch up. I hate having stuff hanging over my head. Yoga, though, is planned for first thing tomorrow morning.

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Food was good enough, CREDIT moi, except for larger afternoon snack, Ouch. I skipped morning snack to compensate that I'm still nibbling in the afternoon when I'm feeling tension.

Today's the day I tick my monthly counters, CREDIT moi. I do like that I celebrate the passing of time. It reminds me of the time when my kids were young and I was recalculating how much life insurance I needed. I needed less than the year before . . . Duh. 'Duh' because I'd just lived a year supporting them which was the disaster that I was insuring against. There was a frost last night - the first of the season. We're headed out in a couple of hours for a morning bird walk to see what ducks are still around.


Debbie (Lexxiss) – Kudos for "resisting the urge to eat more" when hot pizza sits right there. Neat that "over the hill" is a positive phrase for you.

maryann - Thanks for the reminder, "progress not trampled on by a murderess perfectionism" - I sometimes get a big jolt that I haven't reached the end point yet and do well to remember that I'm moving on my path.

HaleyJu - Can't do better than, "I will be mindful." Have a good yoga session.

Linda (lase88) - Congrats on those eight pounds gone forever. It is a challenge to face our friends who remember that our weight has cycled in the past. Using your Beck skills during maintenance can stop that.

Readers -

Hi Coaches!

I weighed, even amidst unpacking and getting reorganized. credit. Scale is up, to be expected, with travel, pizza, etc. My main goal this morning is to get my lunch packed so I can continue my winning streak at work, not eating any restaurant food. Fortunately, I've planned ahead and know an orange and whole grain muffin await in the fridge.

Good Morning, Coaches.

Weight at ticker today. Yoga planned for 10:00. Credit both.
Sounds like everyone is busy this morning, unpacking and getting things done. I plan a MFA free weekend. I am going to sew - DS mask for Halloween, name tags for his outdoor adventure, and mend DH shirts. Sewing is relaxing although I hardly ever do it. I also plan to cook some with DS.

Lexxiss: Keep up your winning streak at work, congrats.
HaleyJu: What grade do you teach?
BBE: Routines and schedules help contain my wild mind, as well.