Short answers
some of them)
1. Yes
2. Don't worry about "starvation mode". Not going to be an issue, especially at the beginning. The amount your metabolism slows is negligible, especially if exercising. If your body were to create or destroy energy, you would be defying some serious laws of physics, namely the Law of Conservation of Energy. People most certainly can (and do) starve to death (think extreme poverty and eating disorders.) If you could hold on to all of your energy, you would not be able to starve to death. Cellular respiration has to continue in order for you to live. Remember that metabolism refers to the sum of all processes in the body, both the building up (repair, growth), and the breaking down (hard exercise, damaged tissue, cell death, etc...). It's not just a term for fat burning! You use energy just being alive.
3. No. Some people prefer to eat a large meal(s). I do this quite often. It just depends on how I feel that day.
4. Broadly speaking, yes. But please don't choose these as your primary fuel. Your body needs all the nutrients it can get on a reduced calorie diet. You won't feel full on such calorie dense, nutrient void foods. Eat well!
Also- if you could post your height and starting weight, we could give you more information about your energy expenditure for your size and how much ideally you should be eating to create a deficit to see the scale move.
Please remember that the only thing you can do to fail is to quit. One bad meal is not failure, or a bad week, or whatever. If you keep your calories at a deficit, given enough time, you will see progress. The only thing is you have to be patient. You don't necessarily need motivation, just dedication. One bite at a time. You did not get heavy in one day, and it is unfair to expect to your body to eat up its fat stores in one day. If you have 50 lbs to lose, it would be like asking you to eat 175,000 calories at one time. See how unfair that is? That's almost 796 candy bars.
The overall thing is that it is not HEALTHY to be really overweight. It is bad for your joints, your heart, your blood vessels, kidneys, pancreas, and all of your other awesome parts. Do this for yourself. So you won't be on a first name basis with your doctor's office and pharmacy. So you will be able to fit into an airline seat. So you can outrun an attacker. So you can live a long, fun life. So you won't have to stab yourself with needles mutltiple times a day, go blind, lose your feet, get put on dialysis, and die an early death.
Also, so you can buy really cute outfits to live your long, fun life in. Don't go on a diet. Change the way you eat forever. This site can help you. It has certainly helped me, and there are so many people here who have done it. You can too! I am stepping down from the podium now... Speech from a fellow "fatchick" officially over.
No but seriuosly, post your stats and someone can help you with the overall equation. And don't forget to take measurments and pics when you start so you can see how far you've come!