Hey guys,
I swear I feel like i'm failing so hard recently. I'd been hovering around the same weight for about two months. This was upsetting me but I was sticking with it. Then this past week I have been off work and of course I thought i'd allow myself the odd treat. I've weighed myself this morning to get back on my diet and i've found i put on 8lbs. How does that even happen because my odd treat was having some pizza in the middle of the day rather than having lunch and dinner. And having some pancakes for breakfast one day. I do know that I loaded on carbs though so perhaps eating more carbs than normal has done it.
All I know is that I feel so guilty, stupid and like a failure. I instantly feel like I look like a fat slob again and that I have wrecked everything. I just sit here crying because i'm so poop. The worst thing is that I know why my weight has been so funny these past few months. My husband left me which has obviously depressed me - at firST i couldn't eat at all and I dropped 16lbs in one week. Then I got back on my diet but allowed myself the odd treat rather than no treats at all. Before he left me I was so happy and I didn't need food so my diet was easy (i've lost nearly 100lbs) but now I am so depressed and just feel like there is no point. Which of course gets me angry at myself for feeling like this.
I think I need to start posting more here rather than just reading to try and stay focussed by interacting with people. Today I shall be going crazy for water and making sure that I stick to my plan. Thankfully tomorrow I am back at work and with my regular routine I should get back on track.