I have cared for my family all these years and somehow my focus has been on them. With this weight loss my focus is on me. What I need to do to exercise and what I need to eat. I think this will be a good thing. Anyone else had this revelation?

Yep, it took me realizing that it was my time. My time to take care of myself and improve my health for me! I have taken care of everyone else for the past 20 plus years, it is time for me to take care of myself. Good for you for realizing this too.

Totally! I was always last on my list and it was literally killing me! This last year I have made my health my top priority and it is paying off. I have more energy for my family and myself now. Good luck to you!

i'll b 45 this month n my whole life has been for everyone else! now it's my time to shine!

Absolutely. I've spent the last 2 decades taking care of my three sons and husband and not taking care of me! Now my health has become compromised and I realize I haven't done my family any favors by letting my own health go by the wayside. Guess it's all about striking a good balance.

Oh yes.

My weight loss journey began in Jan 2011 - 4 months before my 40th birthday. I had spent my entire 30s, and much of my 20s, fat, clinically depressed, miserable and only getting worse. My midlife crisis began that month and I had just had it with myself! I've been medicated, through therapy, tried to lose weight in 100+ different ways since I was in college and it hit me...I am middle-aged and I still do not have my life together.

I took control and I have to tell you, I have never been happier with myself and every single area of my life has improved as a result of me taking charge and getting healthy. I still back-slide a little here and there, but I manage to find the path again. My 40s have been infinitely happier than my 30s!

I will be 40 in a few months, I realized this a few years ago and slowly started changing things. First I went back to doing hobbies that I loved to do before I met my husband and had my daughter. I got fully back into it last year and you would have thought I was having an affair the way my husband acted. And my daughter getting jealous. I love love love photography and I got back into it full force and started selling my work last year. It became like a part time job. So my husband didn't like the time I spent in the darkroom, at craft markets or taking pictures. My daughter was jealous because she couldn't do as much as I was doing.

This year I tried to lose the weight...started working out. But with my husband saying I spent too much time with photography and him not wanting to eat healthy...always wanting me to eat fast food or make sure he had his junk in the house (he was pretty close to his military weight, retired military) I couldn't get the support I needed. Now he has diabetes (from all the junk) and my daughter found out she had PCOS. BOth needing to lose weight no more junk in the house and a gym membership quickly became the new norm.

Now my husband is still thinking I am spending too much time with my hobby (which is making money) and too much time at the gym but he is getting used to it. I never thought that trying to recapture me would cause such a stir. My daughter is still jealous of me getting to do more than her in photography...I do get her work processed so I can put her stuff in at the craft markets too..she has come to realize she will need to make money to put money into it like I have.

I hated losing myself but I am enjoying finding who I am again...

OMG I could have written the OP's post. When I started this journey in June I felt a little bit selfish. I realize now the best way for me to continue being there for my family was to lose the weight that has been holding me back. My husband wasn't unboard at first, but now he realizes my motives for doing this and he is totally supportive. He even takes 3 mile walks with me every night :~) He's my biggest cheerleader

Bravo Ladies

We are all guilty of putting our needs on the back burner.
I'm learning when I do things for me I'm better equiped to help those around me.

Me too! Not sure why it took so long to figure out, but now it is my turn.
I've looked after children, husband, pets, grandparents, siblings, etc.

I'm finding that I have more energy and can get around more and can still do lots for others, but still make time for exercise and eating right. It helps that my husband is on board and that the kids are at an age (21 & 17) where they are mostly self-sufficient.

I think this has been my favorite forum so far!!!! I can relate to you all. Thanks for sharing and I hope to read more from all of you.

As a matter of fact, my children are out of the house now and I was at a loss about what my "job" was now. Then it hit my like a thunderbolt that it is finally time for me! I am not happy unless I have someone to nurture, but why not nurture myself? It feels good to be at the front of the line for a change!

Oh yes, this realization has kicked in for me too and I LOVE it! My 40's have been a huge adjustment but great. Now I'm hoping to make my 50's even better by entering them healthy and full of energy.