Hey,
Just checking in. I have started a diet, the most recent of MANY in my life, but this time I want it to work!! I think I have some issues with eating compulsively. I weigh 400lbs about, and my weight problem begins in my teens. I remember back then I started buying junk food and stashing it in my room, and spending my evenings eating in secret. Of course from then I gained lots of weight

This continues. I am now 20 but still I do. I do healthy shopping to last the week... but additional to this I buy junk everyday, which I don't put with the other food. I still stash it away and pig out in the evenings. Often I eat so much I just feel like I can hardly breath! I need to stop doing this. I just get fixated. I feel like life is joyless if I don't have my secret eating to look forward to. I hope to change!!!

I too was like you at 20. I stayed the same until at 43 I decided I had spent too long being overweight and unhappy and dominated by food. Everyday is a struggle, but I made the decision on May 9th 2010 to do something about my lifelong weight problem. I made a plan that suited me and my lifestyle. I incorporated the foods I love that are not carbs, and chose to stay with it. I took each 10lbs as if they were the last. Meaning I tried not to focus on the huge amount of weight I had to lose, rather on losing 10lbs at a time. I won't tell you it was easy, or that it's easy now, but I have no regrets and am so much happier with the person I have become. It was a very long journey, and sometimes I wanted to give up. But I made it. Take small steps, visit here often - it really helps. Be honest with yourself about your eating. It takes a very strong person to admit that there is a problem. I describe myself as being addicted to and obsessed by food. Try to find something else to take away that obsession.
I wish you all the luck in the world. I wish, with every ounce of my being, that I had found the strength of character to do it at your age.

from me as well. Well done on facing up to what is happening in your life. Do you feel the need to eat NAUGHTY foods out of sight! There is no such thing as naughty food we just need to eat sweet/fatty foods in moderation. If your body is used to sweet treats in the evening it can be difficult to change the habit. Sometimes we try so hard to be perfect and then panic when we slip! We all slip and if you are managing to eat well through the day, could you save yourself some of that stuff, to keep away the evening binging along with something you fancy, but keeping it under control. I have got on much better in my weight loss since I started tracking every single thing I eat even if it is off P, once I see what calories I am eating it gives me a much clearer picture of what I can fill up on. You could probably eat a satisfying amount of calories and lose weight. You need to find a way that works for you, if you fall off, then your human, learn from it and get going again. Your blood sugar may try to make you think you need a lot of sugar so plan ahead and try to incorporate some protein into your meals and snacks. Keep posting

Congratulations on taking charge of your health. You are wise to start now while you are young. I promise you that it only gets harder the older you get.
starbrite and Milly have given you some good advice.
Good luck !

JoseLo, I had the same problem you have now, but it took me till I turned 47 to find the way to fight it. It is so good that you should face it that young! You need to find what works for you, but I may say what worked for me to see if anything helps you. I did all the below at the same time:
-- When I felt like bingeing, I stopped to think how I felt and why I felt that way. I discovered what made me binge was generally frustration at not having/being what I wanted, or at having to face a very difficult task. So I worked on that feeling rather than eating.
-- I eliminated all carbs for some time, till my blood sugar became stable, and then started to incorporate healthy carbs very slowly. I did not eat wheat for months till I felt I could manage it. Now I can eat a bit of everything and can control portions, but it took me literally months to be bale to do that.
-- I breakfasted on protein till I could manage other things.
-- When I felt weak I came to this site and blogged and published in the forums. That allowed me to vent and to learn more abut myself.
-- I did not try to lose weight fast, but slowly. I had already proved to myself that when I lost fast, I gained it all back fast too.
-- I did a lot of soul searching. I understood that learning about myself was more important than being thin. The weight loss is the consequence, I think, of a spiritual journey towards self-knowledge and fulfilment.
Hope this helps you... All the people in these forums are willing to help you, so keep visiting!!

Jose, you need some thing else to do at night. This is a very important thing for you. Are there any hobbies you like to do?

Second, do you have a friend that can go grocery shopping for you? For now, you shouldn't go grocery shopping, if you can avoid it, since the hunt for junk food is part of your disorder.

Another way to break the chain, is to go grocery shopping and POST what you bought. You can start a thread to stay accountable, and we can check in on you. You do not have to buy all healthy organic foods, but you should buy food with nutritional value and not just junk.

You need a two part plan:

avoid buying junk
find something else to do at night besides secret eating.

I'm glad you are young because it will be alot easier to get the weight off, and you will have less side effects from doing it.

This is the KEY aspect you need to change. I recently heard an alcoholic physician speak at a conference. He's been sober for 26 years and works in the addiction field. He said that the only way to overcome an addiction is to find a way to be happy without it. In other words, find other things in life that bring you joy. It could be a new career, volunteering, a new circle of friends, a great hobby, or anything else.

Just "making a lifestyle change" won't be sustainable unless you have this alternative source of joy. Now go and find it!

F.

You are all so lovely xxx
Luckily my health isn't suffering too much just yet; I am very unfit but not really unwell. But I hate how much time, energy and money I have wasted on this over the years
I think you are right; I need to find new ways to fulfill myself. It is stupid because I have a happy life. I think this started in my teens when I was stressed and unhappy, but now my life is nice but I still feel the need! My dream for the next year is to get my own place (not shared with people) so I might focus on getting tidy and organised so I am ready fot this... fills time and makes me positive for the future! Also not over eating will save money towards this! I am starting new work too, doing new things with my sewing skills in a business with a friend. This is another thing to focus on!

Jendiet!! You totally understand!! The ritual of buying the food is as much part of it as eating it, in a way. I have a very very lovely flatmate. The rest of my friends don't really see my eating habits but she has more idea than most, living with me. She is too sweet to directly ever mention weight/eating, but I know she is always there for me. I might ask her about that. I am a little nervous about that conversation though, it is always hard to admit you need help and are not in control

JoseLo,
you've gotten some great advice here, I have nothing but good thoughts for you. You've taken an important step in recoginizing the problem you're facing and talking about it.

Freelancemomma had a great line that I copied and put in my journal to read for inspiration and encouragement: Just "making a lifestyle change" won't be sustainable unless you have this alternative source of joy. Now go and find it!

All the best to you.

After 3 days of very good dieting, I am having a bad day and I feel very irrationally annoyed with the people I live with for having all they friends round... it makes it difficult for me to binge. I am getting desperate and annoyed at them for being here. I hate myself for feeling this

The feelings are understandable, but remember, your feelings need not dictate your actions. Feelings are just feelings. Like clouds in the sky, they come and go. Once you COMMIT to making this change, you'll be able to ride out passing feelings. Only you can decide whether you're ready to commit.

F.

I know. I am totally ready to do this. I just hate feeling angry and for no good reason. I am angry at my flatmates guests for being here. I am just telling myself they never did a thing wrong. Oh my loooord!!!!
I can do this.