Evenings are so difficult for me. It's always been SNACK time. So, getting on this site in the evenings is helping me avoid the kitchen and writing in my blog is helping me vent and keep focus. While writing in my blog, however, I realized I kept saying "I'm Scared". I have been scared that I won't lose the weight. I've been scared that I will lose it but gain it back plus some. I've been scared to go near food or cook for my family.
Tonight while reading through different posts I realized I only have one thing to actually be afraid of... staying this big. I realized my weight really is up to me, myself, and I. If I stay committed, focused, and aware of how easy it is to gain the weight even when I get smaller, then I can succeed. I have to make myself a priority and love myself enough to avoid the bad decisions that have led me to abuse myself. It seems easier to type these words than to believe them but I will try and I will keep trying some more and I won't be scared to improve my life anymore!