The epiphany had to happen, first, because before then I was just waffling and not really invested in doing it. Once I realized I had to be serious about it, I got serious:
1) I told myself that I had to say "no" to my favorite foods. No, I would not drink any soda (diet or otherwise). No, I would not eat cake or cookies. No, I would not eat a pizza.
Like others have said, I had to tell my whiny inner 5 year old that they were NOT going to die if I skipped that chocolate, candy, pizza, bread, dessert, whatever. If I still remembered what it tasted like, then there was no way that I was ready to taste it again.
Yes, it sucked. But I also knew that I had to stop myself from eating whatever I wanted.
2) I had to realize that I have to take care of myself even if I didn't like to cook, even if I didn't like to count calories, even if I didn't like depriving myself.
The way that I handled that, was by recognizing that I do a million things every day that I don't like to do. I brush my teeth and I don't like to brush my teeth. But I do it anyway, because I want to have my teeth be healthy. I want to have good breath. I hate doing laundry. But if I want to wear clean clothes for work, I have to do laundry.
Because I sucked up to doing all these things I hate (bill paying, showering, driving in traffic, going to the doctor, whatever), I also had to do the things that I *HATED* in order to take care of my body. So, I controlled my calories (which I hated). I washed dishes (which I hated). I cooked (which I hated). Yeah, it sucked(s) but, it's part of what it means to take care of my body.
After all, no one else is going to take care of my body but me.
3) I had to admit that this weight loss was for health, not vanity. By letting it sit in the "vanity" pile, I was never going to get around to losing the weight. Why? Because I thought it was stupid that I was losing weight to be thinner and more beautiful. I wanted to people to love me and accepted as I was, regardless of my weight. Losing weight to fit into a smaller size was never going to motivate me.
When it finally clicked that this was not about vanity, but about my health and my life, I realized then that this was actually more important than fitting into a size whatever or having the approval of random strangers.
4) I had to let go of "magic" thinking -- of thinking that I would wake up thin one day because I deserved to be thin.
5) I gave myself a meal plan -- whole foods (nothing processed, with few exception) and I had to eat at home all of my meals except for 1 or 2. I had to cook every single one of those meals too.
6) I made out an easy plan for food. I cooked on the weekends and made plenty for the week and to freeze. That's what I ate. I played around with breakfast foods and snacks. I planned my meals on a sheet of paper and filled in the blanks (the blanks would invariably lead to eating junk).
7) I focused on food first, exercise would come later.
8) I signed up for a CSA food box, which brings me organic vegetables. I had to use those vegetables creatively before they spoiled. I got creative.
9) I wrote down my weight, so I could see it and see progress (or no progress). There were a lot of weeks with no progress because I lose weight slowly. But I didn't want to fall into the magically thinking again.
10) I eventually started exercising. I told myself that exercising was for taking away stress or relaxing, not for eating more food. I stuck to that.
11) I kept saying no to the food that made me heavy.
12) I started treating my IR with supplements.
13) I changed my habits with my family and friends. I would join them at restaurants, but I wouldn't eat, because I ate at home. I would sip on sparkling water or plain water. I would say no to whatever they offered me. I didn't even eat the bread.
Strangely, I began to influence my friends! They started feeling comfortable not socializing around food. Woohoo!
14) I found a hobby that keeps me active on the weekends (cycling). I do it with my friends and we reinforce healthy habits through this. We signed up for a ride together and we prepare for it together.
15) I change my food up because I get tired of the same thing.
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My advice for someone who is starting out:
1) You have to find something that works for you and this may take a lot of trial and error. There is nothing out there that is perfect for you -- take what you like, take what makes the scale move or the inches go down.
2) Educate yourself as much as you can about the science behind nutrition, weight loss, and exercise. Find out why sugar is so addictive and what it does in your body. Find out why fat is so delicious and what is does in your body. Find out what's in the junk that you love. Read a lot.
3) Find something that fits with your lifestyle and your values. It's great if everyone is doing low-carb, but if you don't like that much meat in your diet because it doesn't make you feel great or you care too much about animals, then don't eat that much meat. Find what works for you.
4) The scale doesn't determine your self-worth. The scale may not move often. What matters is how much energy you have, how you feel, and whether or not your clothes are fitting better. If the scale is wrecking your happiness, then put it away and find another way to measure progress.
5) Find an activity that you can turn into a hobby. Cycling was it for me. I have another friend who is a belly dancer. I used to do dancing too. Make it something that you love that you want to do because it's fun, not because it's "exercise". Even if you still get on that boring treadmill, have something movement/activity that gets your heart pumping that you love to do. Hike, ice skate, ride horses, Zumba, rock climb, whatever...
6) Ask yourself, as you are on this journey, what's really going on inside of you in terms of your weight. How does being heavy help you? How does it hinder you? What are you afraid of if you lose your weight? What are you excited about? What do you need in order to be successful at weight loss? What has to happen in your family/friends/work in order for that to be the case? If you're not putting your health first, why?
All this stuff is going to come up. You're going to want to put other people first. You're going to come up with a million excuses why you can't go exercise, why you HAVE to eat those french fries, why you can't follow your plan. All of those decisions are also a product of those questions above.
7) There's no perfection. You'll eat junk even when you are trying to avoid it. You will look at those cookies on the table and just give in to them. You will be tired of calorie counting (or whatever plan you have). The point is not to be perfect. The point is that you working to change your life and once you make a mistake, it's in the past. What matters is the next decision that you make.
So, you go out to dinner with your hubby or your best friend and you end up sharing dessert. So what. Wake up the next day and have a healthy breakfast. Then plan for a healthy lunch. What matters is the decision that's facing you.
8) Last, but not least -- be strong like bull... not weak like baby cow. Yes, losing weight means making changes to your existing lifestyle and habits. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you won't like some of the changes (until later!). Yes, other people may sabotage you because they don't want you to change. Yes, you may be afraid no one will like you. But, you are stronger than all of that. You CAN get past that and be a healthier, happier you. So, be strong.