So I've finally done it! I've finally made an appointment with a therapist. I've avoided it for a long time. I have been going to a psychiatrist for the past 5 years for depression and a mood disorder. And I'm on a cocktail that keeps me a bit 'even' but it doesn't really help the depression. But through it all I've always wanted a magic pill. Well after many avoidances of my weight gain and the issues along with it, I've enlisted the help of a trainer and nutritionist. However, I don't adhere to their plans. I don't know why. I feel better when I do. But in the heat of the moment I always do the wrong things. So my nutrtionist highly suggested therapy to figure out why I make the choices that I make.
Now I've done therapy before. In college I went through it. However we made a huge decision to cut one of the toxic people out of my life...my dad. Unfortunately it's never sat right with me. I don't necessarily regret it, but I wish I'd been stronger to deal with him as he was so that we'd have a relationship now when I know that he needs me the most. So ever since then I've been nervous about therapy and how a therapist can affect my life.
But I think the nutritionist is right. I need to figure out why I'm fighting so hard to do the things that I need to do. Yet, I'm sooooo nervous. I don't really want to air my dirty laundry (and I have a lot of it) to a complete stranger. It takes a lot mentally to do this and it's emotionally exhausting. So if you don't click with the therapist then it can be even more detrimental. But I have to take the leap right? I need someone to talk to. Someone that I will tell the things that I hide from everyone. But I'm worried that all of that won't help. I'm worried that I'll pour my heart out and it wont' make a damn difference.
So what would you do? Have you been to a therapist? Has it actually helped?