I am so curious how people finally get the motivation to lose weight. This is something I have truly wanted to do for a couple of years now. I may start but it doesn't last more then a few weeks and I'm back to my old ways.. I just can not even get the motivation to lose this weight! Even though my weight effects me DAILY! And multiple times a day. It truly makes me so unhappy.. I hate getting dressed.. I need new clothes so badly because all mine are stained and some are getting holes but I just refuse to buy new clothes because its so depressing. I hate getting my picture taken and I just feel awkward constantly esp around people I don't know well. I avoid people. I recently moved to an apartment with full length mirrors as closet doors and I WILL NOT even look in them. I can't stand this but yet can't seem to find the motivation to do something about it either?
I am 23 with 2 kids and my boyfriend of 5 years (father of my children) Has recently decided to leave us for another woman. He has cheated on me multiple times throughout the years and I still stayed. Now we are officially done and I have moved out.. I have been unhappy and depressed for a few years now from being with him.. And I was far to worried about what and who he was doing and lieing about to even begin to think of myself. Now that weight is lifted and I am already so much more happy then I was even just a week ago! I moved out a week ago on Monday and I know this is now the PERFECT time to work on ME and get myself where I want to be heal myself and make myself happy!! As I have no one else to worry about except my kids and I will have some free time now when he has the kids. At first I was really sick over it all and crying all the time and l1 lbs in that time (now down to 273). However that feeling didn't last long.. and not long enough if you ask me (so I could lose more!) And I am already back at my old ways..
I am not eating out as much as before because now I don't have the money to.. but I am a stay at home mom (I am lucky enough to get enough in child support to stay at home with my kids still) and a full time college student. So I am home a lot and do the whole "bored eating" way to much! I feel like I will never find someone else to love me because of my weight as well as all my baggage! I would not even feel comfortable enough to go out on a date right now because I am so unhappy in my appearance! Not that I am even thinking of that right now but someday it would be nice!! Anyways the only thing that is standing between me and truly being completely happy is some hard work so why can't I just do it? I so badly want to more then anything!!! Sorry for writing a book ladies and thanks for any advice!!!