I know this is going to sound weird. But does anyone on here have a history of anorexia? I used to be anorexic, but now clearly am not. I was just wondering if there was anyone else out there like me...?

I was diagnosed with bulimia so I guess it's a bit different, but have had periods of very extreme restricting.

I guess my main issue atm is overeating sometimes to compensate for not wanting to relapse. I'm scared of under eating and going back, and also scared if I continue to overeat my weight will go up rapidly.

I think we need to find the happy medium, but it's not so simple to do!

Anyway just wanted to let you know you're not alone

i never got so far as actually being anorexic, but i have struggled with disordered eating, both compulsively overeating for most of my life and then in the past year i got a little messed up with restricting myself, thinking i was fine because i wasnt eating so little that it would be considered a full fledged eating disorder, but i couldnt open doors i was so weak, would pull up my shirt to see how fat my stomach was in front of every mirror if there were no people around, never going over my max 1200 calories, only not going under 1000 so i didnt slow down my metabolism, not eating if i was hungry, not thinking about anything except food, weighing myself 3 or 4 times a day and crying if the scale went up 1/2 a pound, etc. its really really hard to deal with this kind of thing, stay strong and just remember to keep losing the weight healthily, and if you are hungry... just eat

Yes, I had disordered eating for 18 years and was diagnosed with an ED-NOS. I went through three years of regular therapy for that and a number of other issues, "graduated," then a few years later (about a year and a half ago) I hired a nutritional therapist who has experience dealing with disordered eating. It was very pricey, but well worth the talk therapy and meal planning that she did with me.

I have always had a hard time eating enough, so I use my meal plans to make sure I'm eating "at least" a certain amount without throwing caution to the wind. I've always been an all or nothing kind of person and she helped me see that there can be a balance. I'm not thinking about food all the time or obsessing over it anymore.

I struggled with a very destructive pattern for years. Here's how it went:
Overeat to the point of sheer self-hatred and disgust.

• Choose to take control through restriction. Get to a point in which I allotted myself 1,500 calories a week.
• Burn out and start bingeing again which, to maintain control, I would then purge.
• Get tired of purging but continue the bingeing.
• Repeat.

My weight would constantly yo-yo because of it. I would lose forty pounds in two months and then gain it all back plus more. Choosing to eat healthy for me is really hard. I'm overweight, I do need to lose weight. But it scares me because I've had good intentions in the past but the restriction would take over. This time, before I even started this journey, I made a promise to myself that I am not allowed to purposely eat less 1,000 calories. Accidents happen. Just earlier this week I stopped eating at about 950. It wasn't purposeful, I miscalculated how many calories I ate (I accidentally inputted a food twice) but after I realized that mistake the next day I got really anxious because I was afraid that I might continue down that road. Each day is a choice. I chose to forgive myself for that mistake because it was just a mistake. I also chose to not let it continue or ruin my day.

gracesmomma, I actually had BOTH eating disorders. I would eat and purge. Then get sick of that, and then I would not eat at ALL. If I did eat, it was a piece of popcorn and I would be scared of that, so I would throw it up. This was extreme. The only way I got any sense of control was by studying nutrition for myself. I still have a problem with binge eating though as you know.

I, too, had a history of both starving and bingeing. In high school, I hardly ever ate anything. I snapped in college and started bingeing. I gained 70 lbs in a year and realized I needed help and went to inpatient treatment. Mentally, I'm a lot healthier but I still have the weight to lose.

I never want to go back to those periods again. They were awful.

I have a history of eating disorders as well. Anorexia, restricting to generally 400 cals or less, fasting for weeks at a time. Bulimia would inevitably follow restriction periods, when I could no longer starve myself but hated the food enough to get rid of it. It still occasionally rears its ugly head. And of course BE/COE, which really started in my early 20's and got me where I am today.

Not anorexic, but bulimic (98-2009). It's always there for me. I constantly compare myself to who I was 6 years ago (the girl who'd lose 50# in 6 weeks) while overcompensating to keep myself "in recovery" (ie. binging w/o a compensatory method) for the sake of my SO. However, because I am so heavy, I actually thought (and sometimes think) it doesn't matter and that starvation is good for me. Pair this with perfectionism to the point that I won't even bother if anything doesn't start out just perfectly, I feel I'm in a constant state of 4 weeks one way, 4 the next, back and forth. (We don't even get into the physical never supporting the mental.)

This said, my mom was anorexic and after children, gained 150#. I've seen her deal with it my whole life.

I hope to finally break myself