Back to catch up with some personals:

lexxiss/debbie - major credit for making all those good choices at the restaurant and making food/health a priority!

valerie - excellent contacting your buddy. It helps with problems and/or accountability.

Billbe - so glad you have your computer working. I had to laugh at the trail mix.. I was recently at Speedway Gas. I went in to get water. I noticed that had 'regular' trail mix. And, they had 'diet trail mix'. The diet trail mix had no M&M's in them. LOL

gardenerjoy - credit for no snacking has you did all those task in the kitchen and with food! Good for you - tweeking your plan because of realizing you were losing to fast to keep your energy up.

pam - your salad is inspiring me to get lots of greens, etc today at the grocery. so glad your knee is improving... slightly is better than not at all.

tazzy - sorry about the sick child - gosh I hope you don't get it too badly. Keep us posted on the calorie cycling.

maryann - congrats on your sobriety date celebration. Kudo's on fulfilling your exercise goal for so long!! - kudo's for continueing your use of the beck priniciples!

robin/4ever - kudo's for putting the cards in your purse!

Have a healthy day.

GD everyone

Val thank you so much for your detailed explanation of how Beck Diet approaches the calorie controversy. Is there any reason why you couldn't just try 1200 calories and see what happens? From what you have shared with us I think you are in such a healthy frame of mind that I don't think you would risk going overboard and eating only 4 oz of turkey breast for daily calories (like I used to do when I was in junior high).

I think some of the other suggestions here will help you fill the "empty feeling" with lots and lots of low calorie vegetables. Plus, that is what all the conventional wisdom right now leans towards---more fruits and vegetables and less animal meat and fat. My salad for Monday's lunch was a small mountain and yet the calories were under 300.

I think, you have identified a very good reason to get down to a lower weight. Your overall joint health. The current wisdom now is that in order to make joint replacement surgeries be more successful (ie, last longer) a person does need to do their "prep work" prior to undergoing surgery. I was offered knee replacement surgery back in 2003. I declined at the time because the pain was minimal (compared to today) and we were planning on moving cross country (at our own personal expense) and I felt that I couldn't afford to take time off from work.

Actually, I am glad that I waited. I was eating very unhealthy at that time although I was quite active. Now, I am hearing many obese people tell me their doctors refuse to do the surgery until they have strengthened their leg muscles and lost a significant amount of weight. I am really glad about this turn of events. In fact, this has given me even more incentive to do my "pre-surgery homework". I have known people who didn't do all they were "supposed to do" and a few years after the surgeries they are hobbling along. My heart just sinks when I see that happen.

Although you don't need my nod, I say, "Go for it." You have enough knowledge of your own body and how it works to just find the right weight that makes you and your doctor happy.

Robin and hope you are recuperating from your surgery and not in too much pain.

beverlyjoy Oh Boy! I feel for your SIL and for you. As anyone can remember some of my earliest posts (and sometimes even recently) I can really get my wires crossed as to what I am doing and why I am here. I remember admitting that I made a "personal challenge" of fitting in 1 1/2 dozen cupcakes into a weekend forage last February. Ouch! What the heck was I thinking of? You all must of thought I lost my marbles. Well, in a way I had. It goes back to being at cross purposes with yourself. I think that is where your SIL is.

First of all, how naive of me to even admit it. I never once thought you all would say "What a putzs!" (or at least not to my face anyway) However, I admit I am compulsively honest sometimes, even if it puts me in a bad light. Plus, I have personal accountability burned in my brain by now. I always remember one of my oft-quoted 12 Steps sayings: "You are as sick as your secrets." So, I choose to live my life as an open book. Yes, it does mean sometimes, you are going to see me "sick" but often you can also see my "come backs". I fall off the horse but I do get right back on. I know that to be one of my strengths.

I had some kind of epiphany this past summer. I am not even sure when that happened. I realized that I am not going to allow my fears of hurting someone else's feelings or my own fears about my sexuality stop me from running towards and embracing being healthy. I am not sure if your SIL would have been open to it at a family gathering but maybe at some time you could have a talk with her about how she is feeling about her own weight lose issues. Sometimes, when we help another person we help ourselves in the process.

I brought a turkey sandwich and a bottle of water to an early morning meeting a couple of weeks ago. I spent so much time on "getting ready" that I didn't have time to eat. Since I knew going into that meeting that there would be lots of good and bad carbs waiting to be consumed, I wanted to head it off at the pass. I did get a couple of interesting looks but I satisfied my appetite and I wasn't even tempted to look in the direction of the "goodies".

Side note: This has been one of my visual aids at buffets or any kind of group gathering where food is prominently displayed. (I found out later that some study found this to be an effective way to under-eat at buffets). I find a place that is the farthest away from the food (on display) and I sit at an angle where I don't even see it. Then, all I can focus on is what I have in front of me.

Bill Not to tempt you any more than you already are but your "love affair" with your DH's trail mix had me remembering when I used to eat one that was seasoned with "cajun"-style spices that was out of this world. It had different nuts and seeds in a very heavily spiced coating. The bag was the equivalent of a horse's feed bag. That was long before I joined this group but I used to sit at the computer, eat with one hand, grab some water afterwards, wipe my mouth, over and over again. It was that good!! I just bought something called "chocolate antioxidant blend" that I plan on putting into muffins (it has dark chocolate chunks, dried cranberries, cherries, almond slivers, whole almonds and something else). I tried a wee bit to see what it tasted like. OOOOOoooooo, it was "bad".

Lexxiss, maryann, tazzy, woodland Heeeey from here!

Stats for 10/3:
**completed day 3 of 92 days of "No Empty Calories" (inlcudes sugar)
**1849 calories 27 g fiber 2747 mg sodium
**walked 3000 steps with cane! Slowly!
***F/V: red grapes, fresh spinach, corn on the cob, green peppers, red onions, fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, cranberries, blueberries.

Credit: had the desire last night to eat for nearly 5 hours but didn't and yes the stomach was a little empty towards the end. I had a cup of skim milk to take with my night pills then went to bed. "Rewarded" with more of the sodium-induced weight gain lost (this time hopefully forever). Kept busy with different things on my computer and listened to some favorite music and yes, at times, I did forget that I wanted to eat. The more I practice this the more empowered I feel about doing this.

I am really enjoying some of the topics we have been discussing the past several days. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to stop here and share what is "on their plate". It means a lot to me and I am an eager student to learn.

Love ya all Pam

Good Evening Coaches:
Not as blue today. Weight down .4lb but substituted a few items although I allowed for calories. I am playing a game with the budget. Didn't go food shopping this week but making sure we all get plenty of produce - banana pumpkin smoothies (DS loves), split pea soup homemade, chickpea stew, dried apricots, pears from our pear tree, etc. . . I spent the grocery money on tixs in Dec. to ride on the Polar Express. Santa is coming.
Tazzy: I think you hit it on the head when you said the 1400 calorie days need lots of planning. This is very true. I find that I really need to think about nutrition dense foods. I need calorie "bargains" like beans, eggs, spinach, strawberries. If i just eat powerbars and Diet Coke, I am run down (Although let me tell you I like power bars and diet coke"
BBE: I am not going anywhere with three multi view mirrors.
Beverljoy: Thanks for sharing your plan.
4everlearning: good luck with your surgery
lexxiss: good for you for making time to keep up with the group. I know you have many care giving duties.

I'll be gone to a conference for the rest of the week and probably won't post. The food plan is breakfast and snacks (if any) in my room using food from home. I seem to be much more willing to make good choices while eating out if my breakfast and snacks are the familiar healthy foods I normally eat. Otherwise, I'll focus on veggies and tiny servings.

WI: +0.25kgs, Exercise: +35 80/1000 minutes for October, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Diet Coaches/Buddies - I am Martha Stewart, me. We're temporarily back to taking our showers in the tiny bathroom in the attic while the window is replaced in our (relatively small) regular bathroom. So I suggested clear shower curtains all around the claw foot bath tub hosting the shower; being able to see all four walls at all times reduces the constant awareness that it's a closet sized room. Viva shameless trompe l'oeil, LOL.

Inconveniently, the scale has disappeared again - it's not under the claw foot tub this time. Nor under the fridge. But I ate on plan, CREDIT moi, including ignoring the call to grab some of DW's (diet) trail mix when it was raining and I wanted to be outside.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Your exercise status was turned into telephone number by my browser, helpfully highlighted so that I can call it with Skype, LOL. Have a nice trip.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Great dinner choices, especially that passing on dessert.

BeverlyJoy - Ouch for a tempting pecan coffee cake - that would be hard for me. [Thanks for the definition of "diet trail mix."]

pamaga – Kudos for actively working on avoiding responding to those non-hunger urges to eat. [Yep, spicy trail mix would do me in.]

maryann - All those veggies sound like mighty fine eating.

Val (va1erie) – Yay for the oldest public market in the country - wondering how farmers sold their stuff before Farmer's Markets were invented. [Yep, DW makes her own "trail mix" with the three kinds of nuts she likes and dried cherries - it's really good. Without M&M's it really shouldn't be called trail mix, LOL.]

Readers -

Hi Everyone,

Not sure why I am awake and posting at this early hour. My cold has come on full force and maybe my drugs have worn off! I did get to Zumba class last night and it was honestly the best I felt all day. Who knew that sweating so much could counteract a stuffy head and runny nose.

Yesterday was my high calorie day and I found it a little difficult as I did not feel like eating at all. I have to admit I had a bowl of soup before Zumba and then had frozen yogurt when I got home. Managed to get in the 1800 + calories for the day. I was nervous having to eat that amount and am happy that today is back to 1546. I should also mention in my last post when describing the calorie cycling my daily amount is actually 1546 and not 1500 so the numbers really do add up.

BBE Way to go on the Martha Stewart decorating. Maybe she has a "diet friendly" version of trail mix you could discover!

gardenerjoy Good luck at your conference!

maryann What do you put in your banana pumpkin smoothies. Sounds really good to me and I'm always looking for new quick ideas for breakfast. Speaking of pumpkin I made some pumpkin spice muffins on the weekend using a spice cake mix and 1 large can of pumpkin (not pie filling) with about 1/2 a cup of water. Worked out to 100 calories each with 24 muffins from the recipe. Really good to and easy! Belated congrats on your sobriety anniversary.

pamatga Big credit for resisting eating for 5 hours and realizing that we can forget about it and we will survive. Thanks for all of your honest posting on all kinds of topics. Reading what others have learned is always a good reminder for me on what we can do on this journey.

beverlyjoy Credit for jumping back onto your plan after being derailed by family.

Hi to everyone else and a shout out to SuperChick and Alana in Canada if you are checking in.

First, my report: My weight was unchanged yesterday morning but up 2 full pounds this morning. HUH? It certainly isn't from what I ate yesterday (a little over 1000 calories). Maybe something to do with the anesthesia? Or the Vicodin I am taking for pain? Didn't do any exercise yesterday and won't be able to do much for at least a few days. Did not read my cards. Did not post or contact my diet buddy. Did eat slowly and mindfully, though.

I remembered a few more things from the Beck workshop that might be helpful or of interest to some of you.

First, a couple of analogies to help us counter the sabotaging thought that once we eat something unplanned, we might as well eat whatever we want for the rest of the day, since we've already blown it, and start over tomorrow: If you stumbled while walking down a flight of stairs, would you then throw yourself down the rest of the stairs and vow to become more careful tomorrow? Or, if you ran a red light and got a ticket for it, would you make it a point to run every red light on the rest of the way home and vow to become a better driver tomorrow? Of course not!

Second, a thought on the practice of constantly giving yourself credit for things that seem silly or things that you think you "should have" been doing all along and therefore don't deserve credit for: Giving yourself credit for every little thing you do right not only acknowledges and positively reinforces the good behavior and mindset, but it also strengthens your knowledge of what to do in a variety of eating situations. That way, when you get to your goal weight, you won't find yourself suddenly in a situation in which you say, "I don't know how I got here, so I don't know how to stay here." That one really resonated with me.

Sabotaging thought: I don't feel like reading my cards today. I've memorized them, anyway. Helpful response: There is no way to know in advance if today will be a difficult or challenging day for me, so I should read my cards first thing in the morning EVERY day, just in case.

A couple of other helpful responses to a variety of sabotaging thoughts: Food always tastes better when it is not served with a side of guilt or shame. OR We often regret what we did eat, but never do we regret what we didn't eat. (Corollary: We often regret not doing exercise, but we never regret doing it.)

After an episode of unplanned eating that spirals: Give yourself credit for stopping at ANY point before going to sleep.

To help counter the tendency to do unplanned eating at night: Build an evening snack into your diet plan to avoid the sabotaging thought that there will be a long period of food deprivation between dinner and bedtime, and that you can't handle it.

A couple of strategies for keeping your advantages cards fresh: Keep adding new ones as you lose weight and discover additional advantages that you couldn't have conceived of at the start. If you have a big event of some kind coming up, pick out just a few cards that are relevant to that event and focus on those for a few days. Pick out a few advantages and, instead of just reading them, take the time to really visualize what your life will be like when that advantage is achieved. Occasionally change the order of your advantages cards to be consistent with whatever your current priorities are or your current stage of weight loss. (And one other thing that both Val and I have done is that we rewrote our advantages cards in the present tense instead of the future tense when we starting maintaining instead of losing.)

And one thing that Beck said about online forums devoted to her program: She made the observation that participants often spend too much time sharing their life problems in general and not enough time focusing on specific program tasks that they are working on. Personally, I like hearing about people's lives and find it really helpful in getting to know them and their unique eating issues better, but I will try to follow her advice to be sure that I include my daily reporting of Beck tasks in each one of my posts.

As a Ph.D. in Experimental Psychology (I was trained to do behavioral research), I was particularly intrigued by Beck's admission, in response to a question by a workshop attendee, that she has no real empirical evidence (from controlled scientific studies) that it is absolutely necessary to master ALL of her skills, or that they need to be mastered in the particular order that she suggests. She admitted that her insistence on doing all of the tasks, and not just picking and choosing the ones that we like or think are important, is based on nothing more than her clinical impressions of her dieting clients. But, like Val observed in the workshop, the tasks that people resist working on are probably the very ones that they most need to work on, and that's good enough for me. I can suspend my own skepticism as a scientist enough to accept that it is indeed important to master all of the skills. After all, I want to maximize my chances of successful maintenance, and I am willing to err on the side of caution by doing everything possible to make it happen!

Pamatga, Val did a really good job of explaining Beck's stance on gradually lowering your calories to your maintenance level while you diet, as opposed to dieting at a low calorie level and then increasing it gradually to discover your maintenance level. Beck's strategy makes perfect sense to me and is intuitively very appealing--that way, there is no transition at all between dieting and maintenance, and you just continue with the good habits of behavior and thought that you have hopefully well established by then. But I still don't get her absolute insistence on never going below 1600, even though I understand her concern that a low calorie diet is often too difficult to sustain indefinitely and sometimes leads to binge-eating disorder. Val, surely you are right when you say that a 6' teenage boy is going to be much hungrier on, say, 1400 calories, and would find it much harder to sustain, than a 5'2" post-menopausal woman! I guess we each have to decide for ourselves what we can live with long-term, and how much food deprivation we are willing to tolerate in order to NOT deprive ourselves of the innumerable and wondrous advantages of being thin! Now that I know just how wonderful it is to be thin, in so many ways I could never have anticipated, it is absolutely worth it to me to restrict my eating...forever. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy an occasional planned treat. But nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, and the pleasure and comfort I derive from eating are so fleeting.

Maryann, congratulations on your 24 years of sobriety. That's a huge demon to conquer! And re: your blue day that led to "half a big cookie and a couple of chocolates", after which you went back OP: give yourself LOTS of credit! I bet you once would have eaten lots more than half a cookie and a couple of chocolates in that situation, and you would not have gotten yourself back on track so quickly. YAY you!

BelovedK, OUCH!! How did you get all those injuries? But give yourself credit for sticking to your plan nonetheless.

Lexxiss, you should be giving yourself lots of credit, too, for making so many good choices and doing so many things right despite a very difficult day.

gardenerjoy, wow, I can't believe you were able to lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks so close to your goal!! Good luck with figuring out how to add some calories in a way that won't scare you into thinking you will regain (something I still struggle with). And I certainly agree with you that happy birthday wishes and quick recovery wishes don't belong in the same sentence!

My surgery was a breast lumpectomy for a precancerous condition that was proliferating rapidly and highly likely to progress to actual cancer. In fact there is a 15% chance that cancer will already be present in the tissue that was removed yesterday. So now I have to wait for the pathology report to see if any additional treatment will be needed. I'm hoping that yesterday's surgery will be the end of it.

OK, back to my couch I go. I know I just wrote a book. I hope there is no limit on the size of posts, or I am going to be in trouble!

Robin

GD everyone!

BBE Isn't remodeling fun?? When I was going through that, I served Thanksgiving dinner in an upstairs bedroom and washed the dishes in the claw foot bath tub. You just do what you gotta do!

gardenerjoy Planning will save the day. How will you spend your nights while you are away? Any chance of seeing some local sights?

maryann Please share the recipe for the banana pumpkin smoothie---two of my favorite foods.

beverlyjoy Major credit on getting back on track after the family get together. It sort of puts a damper on the "feel good" feelings we "should" have when we re-connect with our family, doesn't it?

I second the motion on a big "Hello: to all of those we think about and wonder how all of you are doing: onebyone, missyj, Alana in Canada, Superchick, et al. We miss you. Hope all is well with you. As for Val and 4everlearning thanks again for the detailed report on the live Beck workshop.

Credit: I "stared down" another 5-6 hours of not eating before going to bed. Again, I was busy enough with some "end-of-the-day" kind of activities that at times I did honestly forget that I wanted to eat. It seems it has become routine the past couple of days but I have one final week of this Buddy Challenge and I want to really do my best on the final lap. Also, this is something that I should just plain get in the habit of doing long term. It is already becoming a lot easier than I thought it would. I do think that there is a direct correlation between feeling good emotionally (which I do right now) and just not bothering with the extra food or, should I say, it not bothering me?

Through another BLC "buddy" I heard about a "7 Key Food Challenge" on another thread so I got in on that. It is only for this month but since I keep a running food log everyday, it was easy to get the previous days' information over to the "host" of this challenge and step right in. This is one of the BIG benefits of keeping a detailed daily log of my food plan. I can see in black and white "how I am doing". Good or Bad. Anyway, I am going to share the "7 Keys" here. It might be a good "checklist" for anyone else that feels they need to "tweak" their food plan or just compare what they are doing with these "keys".

If you follow these 7 Keys you will lose weight.

1) Eating every 3-4 hours and having 5-6 small meals/snacks per day
2) Eating protein and/or fat with carbs at meals and snacks
3) Choosing high fiber carbs and not white flour carbs. Aim for at least 25 grams of fiber daily.
4) Making sure that you have 2-4 ounces of protein at lunch and dinner
5) Don't cut your fat intake too low. Choose at least 1-2 servings of healthy fats, like nuts, seeds, fish, avocado, and olive oil daily.
6) Make sure you're eating 2-3 fruit servings each day.
7) Make sure you're eating at least 3 servings of vegetables each day.

Note: I follow all of these except the first one. The ONLY white flour carbs I eat are my jasmine rice (which is about twice a month) and my mini twist pretzels (which runs in streaks). I have allowed unhealthy fats though to creep back into my food plan. I just don't like the "healthier spreads" like Smart Balance. They are tasteless. Does anyone have a good tasting healthier alternative for their morning toast?? I am almost inclined to return to butter and just limit my amount (since I have read you can have about 10% of your daily calories in saturated fat) to 1 TB per day. What are your thoughts, coaches/buddies?

I know we have all batted around how many meals a person should/shouldn't eat per day but for the sake of this Buddy Challenge, I am going to comply for this month. I have gone back and forth on this a couple of different times. Right now, I have some fat free kettle popcorn sitting next to my computer--uneaten. It is supposed to be my mid-morning snack. Blaaaah! I have been eating one larger meal with two very small ones since we started our spiritual fasting on September 14th and I had gotten used to that but nothing like a Challenge to keep a person more focused; so, I am willing to give this a try.

Stats for 10/4:
** 1774 calories 10 g fiber (unusual for me?) 3134 mg sodium
**walked 2900 steps
**2-10 min sessions on treadmill at 1.6 mph (had to drop down so not to re-injure knee again)
**F/V: apple, peach, green beans, carrots, corn

Pam

report: read my cards, weighed (up 1), spent eight hours in the car so didn't get much exercise, ate slowly and mindfully all day, making very good choices until havig a wine-induced snackfest last night after I got home. Oh, well. Move on.

Debbie -- yay, you for making good choices dining out!

Beverlyjoy -- I suspect that possibly MOST of my weight problem has been caused by the thought that I will start fresh again tomorrow so for now I will eat whatever I want. If I could add up all the calories I ate immediately after deciding I was going to start dieting (or start fresh, after getting off track) in the morning, I suspect it would come very, very close to accounting for the extra weight I was carrying. We need to 'hop back on plan' IMMEDIATELY after falling off plan. Not the next morning. The next BITE needs to be back on plan. I suspect this SINGLE change in thinking could prevent weight gain among those of us who struggle with being "100% on plan" vs. totally off plan. Bummer for your SIL regaining. She must feel awful about it. Have you talked to her about Beck?

pamatga -- I am eating around 1400 calories now and maintaining, so I'm fine with not dropping to 1200 again. I just would like to understand the rationale behind what Beck is advising, and I still am not sure I really do understand it. Re: eating every 3 - 4 hours and having 5 - 6 small meals or snacks -- apparently the research does not support this as necessary or even helpful. I don't know that it means it's UNhelpful, but apparently it's not associated with weightloss success. If you feel you do better with three meals, no snacks, there's no reason to force yourself to change. Myself, I don't like to snack. I'd rather be hungry for my meals.

BBE -- How does the scale disappear? LOL!

Tazzy -- Don't feel nervous about the high calorie days. It's just one day, and your low calorie days will make up for the absolute increase in calories. The big payoff is confusing your body.

Robin! How are you today? I'm SO glad the procedure is over! Yay for being home on the couch cuddling the cat, reading, enjoying a cup of tea on a nippy October day. Re: the 1400 cals I'm currently eating -- yeah, I'd really love to see the research about 1200 cals being too low divided out by people for whom that's actually only 200 calories less than they can maintain on! It just doesn't make SENSE to use ABSOLUTE numbers. The data needs to be crunched using RELATIVE numbers.

Hi beckfolks - yesterday was a healthy day. I am always grateful for that! I planned, logged, did meditation, lots of water, stretches and strengthening, weighed this am (down 1 pound)

Today I go for my yearly mammogram. Ladies, don't forget to check out the 'girls.'

I got another storytelling job through the Arts Council. That's two - which is the minimum to be able to remain part of their artist in the school program. Last year I took time off from that program. I must do these performances to stay in. I'll have help for off loading, etc. I told Dh... I am doing those schools not matter what.

Today:
breakfast - soy bacon on pnb toast, pumpkin with sf syrup, lite magerine, cinn

lunch - cheese egg white omlette, roasted green beans, toast

snack - cereal, fruit, milk

dinner - salmon, 1/2 c baked potato, icbinbs, salad with evoo and balsamic vinegar

snack - strawberries, pnb on a rice cake

lots of water
journal/log/measure food
stretches and strengthening
meditation
read arc/rc
read beck book

Pam - I like your honesty. It’s so commendable to jump right back on when you fall off. Good job on the fruits and veggies.
The 7 keys sound a lot like many healthy plans I’ve seen over the years… also, the exchange one that I do.

Maryann - your split pea soup and chick pea stew are inspiring me. Yes… good for the budget.

Gardener/joy - have a good trip. Your planning should help!

Billbe - hope the shower switch is soon over.. Although sounds you’ve got the alternate ready. Glad you stayed on plan… with the scale out of sight, even.

T-azzy - gosh, I hope your cold is better soon! I am glad you are feeling a bit more comfortable with your calorie cycling. Thanks for the pumpkin muffin recipe idea.

4ever - the weight fluctuations are sometimes hard to explain when you just think about food. That number represents many things at that moment - water, hormones, medications, food, potty business and more. I love your reminder from the workshop about the stairs. Thanks. - and for the reminders about gratitude, etc.

Valerie - yes, yes, yes….. Drawing that line in’ the sand and not continue to overeat has been the hardest thing for me forever. I am glad you mentioned this. Yes - it’s the single change that could help us all. Thanks.

Have a good day folks.

Hi, Coaches & Buddies.

It is already October 5! I've been totally off track with my food and haven't been to the gym in almost a month, the longest I've missed since I started working out regularly almost 2 years ago.

We head out Friday morning for a vaccation to Mexico at an all-inclusive place. I hope to get lots of walking and swimming in and to get back in the habit of eating while sitting down. I am going to avoid fried foods, hit the veggies and fresh fruits hard, and stick mostly with fish. I will probably not have access to the internet to post and so I'll also have to track my food the old-fashioned way on paper too.

I tracked my food today and read my ARC. I sat while eating breakfast and lunch. I am going to say no choice to dessert tonight, unless I want an apple.

Dinner will be vegetarian stuffed peppers, sautéed zucchini, and perhaps some broiled tomatoes.

Beverleyjoy - great news about the storytelling jobs.

Val - I really liked your commentary about getting back on plan NOW and not TOMORROW. I've had about 20 years of tomorrows and I wonder how many years that has taken off my life.

Pamatga - great job staring down those hours. That is tough for me.

4EverLearning - interesting observation about Beck's program not having been designed entirely via evidence based experimentation. I can imagine that would be a tough experiment to design with a program as long as Beck's.

Tazzy - interesting strategy about the caloric cycling. I need to look in to that.

BBE - hope the scale reappears for you soon.

gardener joy - have a safe trip.

Maryann - congratulations on 24! That is fantatic. Isn't it weird how stressful anniversaries and birthdays can be?

Be well, everyone!

Hi everyone,
So I've been having a bit of a 'crisis of faith' lately in the Beck program. I really loved week 1 but as I started reading more and more, I was questioning the attitudes as well as Beck's tone used. I always felt some of her response cards were a bit cheesy for my tastes, but the thing that really strikes me is the program is very all or nothing. I feel like if I'm not following it to the 'T' then it doesn't quite work out. It's a bit frustrating because I really placed a lot of faith in the program at the start

If I'm being 100% honest, I probably could be giving it a bit more time and effort. I guess I'm just down because I'm the type of person that can't just half believe in something. (Side note - That's probably why I'm not religious, because each time I explore a faith I always seem to question or disagree with some of it and just can't ignore those parts)

I also have been feeling a bit down lately about where I am in life. I am ashamed that I still don't have my degree or a respectable job, and generally I pictured life after college to be different than what it ended up being. Living in a cramped apartment above my boyfriend's parents garage isn't the worst outcome I could have gotten into, but at this time last year my boyfriend had a great paying job and I had several possible leads for an internship that would hopefully turn into a full time job once I graduated. Sometimes everything just feels so hopeless :/

In the mean time, I am working on another week's meal plan because I don't want to abandon my weight loss efforts. I can't bear the thought of letting my efforts go to waste on top of everything, so I'm trying to use it as motivation to keep on losing. I've done a good job at maintaining what I've lost thus far, I just haven't seen a downward slope in the past 2 - 3 weeks.

I also just want to say a small thank you, because reading all of your updates and seeing your success helps with my own motivation, and because I'm just glad I have somewhere to vent where people will understand my crazy ramblings! You guys rock

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Took my walk (CREDIT moi) to pass by my barber to take care of the unruly mess - men so happily think we're getting away without a haircut, LOL. Eating was close enough to plan, CREDIT moi. I did have a moment when I thought of food to solve a passing feeling, but I remembered that I have strategies for dealing with that and went on to the next thing. It seems to work for me just to remember that I have a plan, have goals, and have strategies.

The scale remains missing, LOL, but we found the brass clips that hold up the bars in our closets. Nothing can remain hidden forever.


FutureFitChick - Kudos for making a plan for your luxury vacation. Have a joyful trip.

Beverlyjoy – Congrats on those story telling gigs to stay in the game.

pamaga – I've tried different oils and have come to the position of small amounts of butter from time to time. I have friends who drink whole milk for the same reason, but there I stick to my non-fat milk with relish - I like the taste.

Tazzy - Ouch for the continued cold - perhaps your body is getting rid of its need for colds before the season starts.

Michi702 – Ouch for the feeling of "hopeless" - one of the more seductive Sabotaging Thoughts. You're confronting it by making a meal plan and by reading and posting here. Continued small, positive steps can make that feeling crawl back into its hole.

Val (va1erie) – Ouch for 8 hours in the car, with Kudos for "Oh, well. Move on." [We're constantly moving stuff in and out of each room for painters. Stuff gets misplaced easily. I can't imagine where DW put the scale since she uses it daily also.]

Robin (4EverLearning) - Like the notion of adding new Advantages to keep it fresh. I'll accept your suggestion that doing ALL Beck's strategies avoids choosing to skip the one's we need. Sending supportive thoughts for your recovery from surgery with hopes for that 85% chance of good news from the tests.

Readers -

Hello Beck friends!

My eating was far improved from the previous day *credit* for willingness. Today I have weighed, have a plan and a commitment to use my Beck tools to stick to it. I wasn't able to access the site earlier and need to get going now.

Robin(4EverLearning), you said, "And one thing that Beck said about online forums devoted to her program: She made the observation that participants often spend too much time sharing their life problems in general and not enough time focusing on specific program tasks that they are working on. Personally, I like hearing about people's lives and find it really helpful in getting to know them and their unique eating issues better, but I will try to follow her advice to be sure that I include my daily reporting of Beck tasks in each one of my posts."

I thought this was interesting and I agree with you, Robin, that I like hearing about people's lives and their unique eating issues. I do try to include reporting of Beck tasks, too. For me, having friends in these online forums has made an incredible difference in my ability to lose weight and keep it off. I'm extremely isolated, having moved from my home in Alaska to "start over" in the social arena as I care for my aging mom. I don't really have anyone to sit down and talk with regarding my weight loss program. I know lots of folks who "want" to lose weight but most are only marginally committed, at best. You all here are my rock. Hearing your life issues and how you deal with them helps me. You all let me know, through your trusting me with the details of your personal lives that I am not unique and that I am not alone.

Thanks for being here everyone!

report: didn't read my cards, weighed (no change), ate slowly and mindfully, made reasonable choices even though we went out for Trivia, but did have a wine-induced snackfest when I got home. Oh, well. Move on. Got no planned exercise because I'd forgotten to set my alarm and woke up at the time my class was ending, got minimal spontaneous exercise because I was back and forth from the school several times for various reasons. So I parked far away each time, took the stairs each time, etc.

Beverlyjoy -- Getting back on track IMMEDIATELY after going off plan is incredibly hard. I think it may be the one skill I have the hardest time with. I've definitely IMPROVED with it, but I continue to have to actively fight the impulse every time I go off plan.

FFC -- Good for you for getting back on track.

Michi -- Beck's program is only all or nothing in one way: you have to master all the skills. Once you've mastered them and seen whether or not a particular skill is helpful to you, you can choose to decide that, for instance, you can build a new rule around that skill. Not eating standing up, for instance -- even Beck says that her rule around this is that she's allowed to eat raw veggies while preparing dinner. I allow myself to eat anything I've PLANNED to eat at a cocktail party, even if there's no place to sit. So it's not that you have to, for instance, decide that in order to be on the program you have to never eating anything standing up ever again. You just have to do that for a short time -- until you've mastered that skill -- and then you can revise the rule to fit your own needs.

I will say that the skills I've most resisted sometimes have turned out to be the ones that have been most helpful. Eating slowly and without distractions, for instance, was really hard for me. I like to read while I eat, and if I don't read I tend to eat very fast. But when I practiced eating slowly and mindfully and without distractions for a couple of weeks, I definitely found that I felt more satisfied with less food when I was focussed on the food. And after mastering that skill, I've found that I'm able to eat with distractions and still focus on the food enough that I'm able to leave a bite of everything. Very seldom any more do I find myself suddenly thinking, "Did I eat that entire thing?" I occasionally practice this skill by eating without distractions maybe once a week, but for the most part I can read, watch tv, or eat with others and still eat mindfully.

You can design your own response cards that feel less cheesy. Realize she is providing just examples of responses to very common sabotaging thoughts. If your sabotaging thoughts are different from these, or if the responses in her examples don't feel helpful, we can totally help with that! That's what we're here to do for each other. I have probably three dozen response cards, many of which are completely different from Beck's. In fact I'm not sure I have more than one or two that are identical to any of her examples. For instance, I have one that deals with the sabotaging thought that I'm not yet full. The response to that, for me, is "Am I REALLY not mildly full? Feeling overfull is a trigger for me, even when I'm overfull on healthy foods. It makes me feel I've blown it and might as well blow it big. I can wait 20 minutes before taking another bite to be sure I'm not already mildly full."

That said, if you don't believe in the program, I can just about promise it won't work for you. That's half the battle right there for ANY program. This particular program is based on cognitive behavior therapy techniques that have been extremely helpful with a wide variety of dysfunctional behaviors, and a lot of people have found this specific program very helpful. So before you decide this isn't going to work for you, ask yourself: Is it REALLY that you don't believe it would be helpful, or is it possible you are in reality feeling reluctant to do all the work? It sounds like you're feeling depressed and hopeless in other areas of your life...are you sure it's not just that those feelings are spilling over into this area too? Which skills have you accomplished so far, and are you practicing them?

I'm also interested in your reaction to the tone/attitude. What are you finding troubling about them?

Debbie -- I think Beck's concerns about the too much time sharing their life problems in general and not enough time focusing on specific program tasks that they are working on was primarily a concern about the primary focus becoming sharing general things. I didn't get the feeling that she thought no one should be doing that at all -- just that the primary focus between diet buddies should be the program, and that the additional sharing no become the primary focus. It's fine to become online friends, but the reason we're here is to be each others' diet coaches, and we don't want to lose track of that and risk ending up just a group of friends who can't ask each other the difficult questions when we need to. I, too, like to hear about the other things that are happening in people's lives, partially because (as with Michi above) those issues might be pertinent to the program itself. Knowing that Michi is feeling hopeless about other things in her life right now lets me know to ask her whether that might be coloring her perception of the program, too.

BBE -- good for you for not using food to deal with emotions!

Have a great day, all!