My personal training session is delayed by half an hour today, so I finally have some time to jump in here. Part of the reason that I have not posted lately is my insane schedule. In addition to my normal 14-hour workdays, this past weekend was particularly ridiculous. I have no classes on Fridays, so, in theory, I had a three-day weekend. HA! Over the course of that three days, I spent 25 hours grading term papers and over 8 hours in church activities (a worship service, choir practice, and two meetings of the church elders [because we are interviewing a potential new pastor]). I also did my usual weekend activities of housecleaning, laundry, ironing, and grocery shopping. All of that hardly left time for sleep, no less rest and relaxation! I still have a bunch more papers to grade, so this week and the coming weekend will probably be just as bad as the last. But at that point midterm grading will be done, and I won't have another huge pile of stuff to grade again until the end of the semester.

But the other, main, reason I didn't post is that I was just plain too ashamed and mortified to. Last Thursday, I went on my first true, out-and-out binge since starting Nutrisystem in Feb. of 2009. It began when a friend from school took me out to dinner to belatedly celebrate my birthday. I had a 6-ounce steak (the first steak I have eaten since starting my diet), a small dish of buttered corn, a few bites of wild rice, and a small glass of wine (not exactly terrible, but way more than I would normally eat and, even more importantly, totally different from the plain chicken and veggies I had planned to eat). I was in a vulnerable emotional state anyway (which contributed to the unplanned meal), and when I got home I gave in to it totally. I ended up eating something like 12-15 Nutrisystem desserts (I stopped counting) in rapid succession and felt physically sick and stuffed afterwards, not to mention devastated at what I had done. My stomach was bloated to the point of looking like I'd swallowed a balloon, which of course reminded me of the way my belly used to look and made me feel as if I had regressed to my old self in a matter of hours.

So, the bottom line is that I was much too embarrassed to post any of this and needed to feel that I had "earned the right" to be here by getting back on track first. Silly and totally irrational, I realize; support is even more important in times of failure. But I wasn't able to ask for help when I needed it.

And, of course, in the past, the first binge always marked "the beginning of the end" of my efforts to control my weight--thus my panic and despair on Thursday night. BUT, I WAS able to challenge that particular sabotaging thought (phew!) and get right back on plan the next morning. In a way, I am actually glad that I binged, so that I could get it out of the way and show myself that it IS possible to recover immediately, even from a HUGE misstep. What I have said to myself over and over in the past few days is that a binge is a setback and a learning opportunity, not a catastrophe unless I let it be. I can't rewrite my history, but rationality can go a long way toward charting a different and better future! A setback is just a little stumble on my journey forward--the prelude to a comeback!

Through all my angst, I did resist the oh-so-strong temptation to skip the daily weigh-ins (because I KNEW I had gained). On Friday, I was up a full 2 pounds, to 130.6, my highest weight since early August. THAT certainly could have been my excuse to give either give up completely or to try to starve myself in compensation (which I have done in the past, and it always backfired), but I did neither of those things. I went right back on my normal, planned, routine. On Saturday, I was down .2. Sunday, I was down .4, yesterday I was down .4, and this morning I was down another .4, so I am almost back to where I was before my little misadventure. Since Friday morning, I have been completely on plan, ate slowly and mindfully, recorded everything I ate, stayed under 1400 calories a day, drank more water than I normally do, did my 30 minutes of alternate walking and jogging on the treadmill on two of those days, made it a point to get some spontaneous exercise, tolerated a fair amount of hunger, read my cards twice, and saved a bite of many things for my kitty. I did not post when I should have, obviously. But I have done many things right over the last few days, and I will give myself credit for that.

There are many things I want to say in response to the posts I read, but I see that now it is time for me to get ready to go to the gym for my personal training. So I will have to save my comments for later. In addition to teaching my classes today, I have about 6 hours of grading that absolutely has to be done before tomorrow morning, so I may not be able to get back on here tonight.

Robin

report: didn't read my cards, weighed (up 1), ate slowly and mindfully and sitting down and left a bite, got little exercise but I'm walking to my WW meeting this morning in just a few minutes. Contacted my diet buddy.

Debbie -- Oh, yeah, waiting tables is good exercise! Do you wear a pedometer? It would be interesting to know how many steps you're getting in!

Donamari -- Welcome!

Okay, I read your blog, and I'm going to ask some questions/make some comments you might not like very much. But as one of your diet buddies, that's part of my job. So apologies in advance; this is meant to be supportive, not critical!

About your hard deadline...I'm wondering if you're being kind of hard on yourself. To require yourself to lose 2 pounds a week and feel that even one pound over your goal at deadline would be a failure sounds a lot like perfectionism. 2 pounds a week is a LOT, especially the closer you get to goal. As I approached goal I was probably losing a half pound a week.

You probably already look so much better after having lost thirty pounds. Think about how good you will look after having lost 40, 50, 60. If you focus too much on what you still have to lose instead of what you've already lost, I'm wondering if you'll have a hard time giving yourself credit those weeks when you don't lose as much as you want. You deserve credit, even if you can't get 100% to goal by your deadline. You deserve credit even when you don't lose 2 pounds in a given week. And even if you don't get to 125 by June, you'll look better on the beach at 140 or 155 or 170 than you did at 235. You'll feel better and have more energy, too. If you weigh 150 next June, you are still a success. You still deserve credit.

Also consider the idea that this process DOES go on forever if you want to keep the weight off. If you are telling yourself that "It's just for this year," what will you tell yourself the day you get home from the beach?

Tazzy -- you can come to my house any time with your homegrown veggies!

gardenerjoy -- good for you for eating reasonably when you hadn't expected to go out!

Robin -- So you proved to yourself that you can recover from even a really bad binge. Yay, you! AND although you didn't post, you did WEIGH. YAY, YOU! AND you didn't try to 'fix' things by starving yourself but instead just got back on track. YAY YAY YAY! You ROCK!

It sounds like you're in a pretty good place as far as dissecting why you didn't post (though I do want to make sure you know that there was no need to feel embarrassed) and that you're well aware that not contacting your diet buddy is counterproductive. It sounds like the trigger for the entire episode was ordering steak instead of chicken? But it doesn't sound like you actually overate -- a 6-oz steak, a small dish of buttered corn, a few bites of wild rice, a small glass of wine is actually a very reasonable choice for a celebration dinner. You're ALLOWED to sometimes eat more than you usually do. THIN PEOPLE DO THIS FROM TIME TO TIME. That dinner was NOT the start of the binge. But it sounds like it was definitely the -trigger- for the binge that came afterwards. Was it that it was not what you'd planned that caused the anxiety? I'm wondering if it might be helpful to maybe do an exercise in proving to yourself that you can eat off-plan without starting a binge. For instance, sometime when you're at a restaurant and you've got a plan in mind, open the menu and order something reasonable but not what you'd planned. Eat to the point of mild fullness. Give yourself credit for ordering something reasonable and eating it in a controlled fashion and accepting the fact that yes, you've eaten more calories than you normally do and didn't follow your plan but that it's not a catastrophe to do that every once in a while. Give yourself credit for not turning it into a binge. Do you think this might be a helpful exercise?

And maybe make yourself a response card dealing specifically with the sabotaging thoughts you have when you've eaten off plan. Because I would think that we all ARE going to occasionally eat off plan. So if eating off plan is a trigger for a binge, we need to expect that the off-plan eating is going to happen and plan for it. What do you think about that?

BBE -- I totally understand the tension from getting close to the end but still seeing a gazillion things that need to be done. Do you have a punch list you can add to as you see them, then cross them out?

fyreflie24 Glad to have you aboard our Beck train. All aboard!

Val Wow! You are so on target with your insights. May I sit at your feet, o wise one! After reading Robin's post about the events leading up to the binge, I was scratching my head since it didn't seem totally apparent to me why the binge occurred. Well worth noting about the changes that occur as we move closer to our goal weight. Duly noted.

Robin When you posted what you ate, the first thing I was thinking of was that didn't seem like a lot of food and I certainly didn't see a typical restaurant dessert at the end of that meal. However, maybe it was the fact that you deviated from your food plan, which you mentioned, and this was the first time since 2009. Wow! If that is the case, that is incredible "willpower" (or want power, if you will). If indeed that was the first time you strayed, no wonder it set up such powerful emotions and then a binge.

I am reminded of one of the OA stories about having our first binge after doing so well on our program. It does frighten those of us who have been walking a tightrope for so long. I have come to feel that it just shows that we have "never arrived and never will" and that we are human. Be kind, loving and gentle with yourself because you deserve that.

Debbie I am hearing from other people that some jobs right now are not allowing people time for lunch or, even worst yet, to go to the bathroom. Two women in another group I post in work 11 hour shifts with no time for eating. How can that be considered a healthy way to nourish our bodies? I don't think it is at all. Is this the case with this new waitress job of yours? Please tell me this is part of your own personal plan and not one imposed on by your new employer.

My concern is that without eating for so long, it will mean you will go home and make up for the lack of food and eat more than you had planned. Often I am not hungry until I take that first bite and then I realize just how hungry I am and then I almost feel like I can't stop eating.

If the group remembers not that long ago I was eating once every 8-11 hours without eating again. It is what I would "prefer" to do because once I get busy doing something I don't like to stop for a meal or a snack. However, that doesn't mean it is healthy for me to do so. In terms of keeping my blood glucose levels even I do need to eat every 4 hours whether I feel like it or not. I am trying to "honor" my body and do that.

So, please be careful with this crazy schedule and let's hope it will be for your best, any way you can do it.

Tazzy Glad to hear how busy you are with end of the season cleaning. No, none of us would turn down fresh produce from anyone's garden. Zumba away!

Credit:
-I have been working on revising my Beck response cards. I have realized that I have learned so much about myself and my behavior towards food in general. Many things have changed or have become more clear for me. I want my cards to reflect that.
-"enriching" my life does make for more balance and it puts all of this "food stuff" in its own separate compartment. I am not my food plan. It is a part of my life. I have done a lot of things to enrich my life in the past six months and I am quite "pleased" with that: I have resumed organic gardening, I have dropped one dress size and all of the clothes in my closet fit me, I reward myself with either a cookbook or a new pair of shoes, my mind is actively engaged in reading some new books and learning more about my faith, I am helping others with their own weight lose efforts by hosting these buddy challenges, and, as a result of all of that, my moods are a lot better.

The Beck skills that I am most focused on right now are (these are my revised response cards)

-staying within my recommended calorie range.
-practicing behaviors that support doing so.

Many of the others are ones I have kept although they aren't giving me as much "trouble" as the ones I mentioned above. I have agreed to do a month long challenge that essentially means staying with my calorie range for an entire month. It reminds me of working towards the "near impossible" goal of abstinence (or sobriety) for 30 days. I probably will be white knuckling it next month but I am determined to give it my best shot. It certainly will be interesting. I am both excited and scared at the same time.

Pam

Good Afternoon,

Credit for posting on these unbelievably busy days. Credit for reading my advantage card, weighing in (1 pound from ticker), filling up on protein directly when I got home, immediately changing into my workout clothes so that when I do the next round of endless errands I won't skip step class. Still tough emotionally for me. I can't seem to get on my feet. Crying jags and hopelessness. DH and I had ANOTHER talk last nite and he wants to help anyway he can but he is so busy and I am so busy and our jobs are so stressful there is not much to be done except take it hour by hour.
Pamatga: Congrats on the dress size and the goals.
Valerie: I don't know when the last time I ate mindfully was. I'll try it tomorrow.
4Everlearning: Sorry you had to travel thru so much pain. This learning seems to be a spiral and we come back and back again to our trouble spots but with this program it seems we return to the issue at a higher level of understanding. There is some peace for me in knowing that.

Hello Everyone!

Just got home from my Zumba class and really worked out hard tonight. It was my instructors last class until Jan so we were really giving it our all for her. I hope I enjoy the replacement instructor as much. Still trying to get the boot camp classes booked so stay tuned on that. I need to get another 130 minutes of exercise by Oct 31 to meet my goal.

My day yesterday was so-so. I stayed on plan right through dinner and then felt like I was still hungry. Tried to ignore it, got a headache and decided to eat something. I had a slice of banana bread and then a bowl of cereal. At that point I could have eaten more but finally said no choice and stayed away from the kitchen. I didn't even make my lunch until this morning as I didn't want any more temptations. Back on track today and putting it behind me.

Weighed today (up .4), read my cards, planned exercise, left a bite at lunch, ate slowly and mindfully and checked in with all of you. I think I'm going to go and stare at a TV screen and then head to bed. DH is out of town so I have the house to myself, at times it's good, at other times it's boring. Have a good night!

Hello Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

I am on track with my food plan practicing my Beck skills checking many off my list each day. I have a quick moment to post tonight I am waiting for a call back from Alaska and need to be prepared to discuss some business.

Robin(4EverLearning), it means alot that you shared a very painful time with us. I'm glad to hear you're back on track. It is hard to be so busy.

Pam(atga), answering your question, not eating at work is 100% my decision. There isn't time to sit down for a meal. I start at breakfast and finish after lunch. All the others snack on all kinds of foods through the entire shift but eating anything and everything on the run is not my choice anymore. I have proven through the hunger experiment that I can do it. I start with a high power green smoothie which more than carries me through. We eat dinner an hour earlier than usual when I arrive home. Knowing myself, I don't really think I'd make the best choices if I started eating there. I'm ok with my decision and it's only a few days a week. Thanks for your concern.

Take care everyone!

Doing fine. That's a good thing to be doing.

WI: NC in kgs, Exercise: +30 700/1000 minutes for October, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

4EverLearning: glad you're back after your misadventure. One of the biggest differences, for me, with the Beck approach is my new-found ability to get back on track. I used to find myself eating badly with no earthly idea how to get back to eating well, or eating well with no earthly idea why I would ever stop. Like an on and off switch. Now, I seem to always be aware of the possibility of making bad choices on good days and, more importantly, I can always see the precise path to get back to eating better when I'm making poor choices. I am grateful.

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Pleasant October sunshine for my walk to Trader Joe's, CREDIT moi. Remembered to leave a bite at dinner, special CREDIT moi since it was brown rice soaked in the juices of the Dover Sole and since I so rarely remember to leave a bite.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yep, "That's a good thing to be doing," LOL.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yay for using your experience from the hunger experiment to know that you can work a full shift without a meal. (No one from Alaska ever calls me, LOL.)

pamaga – It's just a remarkable place, "all of the clothes in my closet fit me" - such a joy to think of choosing clothes for some criteria other than the-only-ones-that-fit. Good luck on your 30 day journey.

maryann - Ouch for busy, busy, busy - hope you get some relief soon.

Tazzy - Good strategy there, "no choice and stayed away from the kitchen" - Kudos for that. Neat to put in an extra hard Zumba class.

Val (va1erie) – Kudos for continuing to leave a bite - from someone who's just remembered to do that himself. [Yep, I've got lists of punch lists; each morning I think about which task might be blocking what others need and go for that one - not always the one that I want to do, LOL.]

Robin (4EverLearning) - Huge Kudos for getting right back on track - my take is that that's the most important skill we learn. And Kudos for feeling safe enough to acknowledge that you wandered off. Hope you find some relief from your current HEAVY, HEAVY schedule.

Donamari (fyreflie24) – Yep, finding ways to make this journey fun seems to help those of us who put life on hold "until we lose some weight." Kudos for your first Zumba class - talk about combining fun and exercise.

I, too, would encourage you to reconsider the importance of losing 2 pounds per week right up to your goal weight. My experience was that I lost 2 pounds a week for 54 pounds and then the loses tapered down for the last 27 pounds. At the end, the loses were so slow that it took me about four weeks to conclude that my body was done - I was at my final weight. In addition, around 3FC you'll find a whole bunch of folks who had to reconsider their goal weight as they learned what their bodies wanted to be. [We refer to the pink book, the workbook, and the green book, so I now just which book you're reading. I did the pink book, myself. Right now, the daily quote is coming from the green book, but you should be able to recognize that it's the same thoughts.]


Readers -

GD everyone!! Hope it is and bright where you are at and you are "busy" in the good kind of way.

Debbie I am so relieved that you weren't working for what sounds like some "monsters" out there that I have been hearing about lately. Depending on the place that you work depends on whether it would be worth nibbling at. Plus, since we all here have spent so much time and effort to stop doing that, eating on the run, eating standing up, etc., it would seem like a step back, wouldn't it? What exactly goes into your smoothie?

Robin Hope today looks brighter for you. I am sending warm and loving thoughts your way as is everyone else here.

Tazzy GJ in knowing how to self-monitor even during a moment of temptation, which is one of the most difficult things to master IMO. Most people throw caution to the wind and, well, then end up someplace they wished they weren't.

maryann I am so sorry that you are still struggling. I remember times when I have been where you are at and it is tough to be in and go through. going your way.

Bill we are never quite done are we? I started leaving one bite with desserts a short while ago (I'm talking about my NSA ones) as well, which has always been tough for me, just to prove to myself that I could do it. Just that simple act can prove to be quite empowering.

Fyreflie24 I also wanted to add to Bill's comments that what is also important in how you quickly you lose weight is: the type of food plan you are following which your individual body responses to , the frequency and intensity of your physical activity and your metabolism overall.

For example: I have "discovered" that I actually do better when my daily food plan includes: fat grams at the higher end of my recommended range, my sodium level is around 2000 mg and when my fiber intake is around 35-40 grams. Finally, significantly reducing or removing all white flour/sugar and processed foods will shrink your body down before it even shows up on the scales. That "bloated" look is gone. I have also noticed that doing interval circuit workouts burns tons of calories and tones my muscles up quickly. An example would be: walking on the treadmill first warming up for 5 minutes at 1.6 mph (a slow steady walk) increasing it to 2.0 mph which is a faster clip, then going down to 1.8 mph, then speeding back up to 2.1 mph and then going back down to 1.6 mph. While your body is warm you then want to go into doing some weights and isometric exercises.

It takes a strong drive to keep this kind of intensity up but if you can you will see amazing results in a much shorter time than you would ever imagined possible. Although the scales says my weight is 251 lb I look like I weigh 220 lbs because of the above I just wrote. Psychologically, that is a "big deal", especially when you have a long haul like I do.

Well, I finished revising my response cards. I am going to share some of my "revised" Beck cards with all of you. Here is my new "Advantages of Losing Weight" card:

1)Significantly reduce or possibly eliminate major health risks.
2)Being obese will no longer "define" who I am physically.
3)Increase self-confidence which spills over into other areas of my life.
4)Finally know what it feels like to spatially move as a thin person. Again.
5)I will heal and seal that part of myself that has been wounded and broken for a very long time. I will feel whole again.

I had 10 reasons before but these seem to resonate more with me at this point in time.

-I am still sticking with my BLC recommended food plan. Starting next Tuesday, I will begin posting that since that will be the main staple of my food accountability for this month long challenge for November. The main "tweaking" I have done with my food plan, which I realized almost immediately when I did this October one was that I was not consistently including healthy fats every day in my food plan. So, Bill, as it were, I am back to including nuts as one of my healthy fat choices, in spite of previous attempts to eat them in a sane manner. I am also going to have to include at least 1 TB of olive oil when I am cooking. I have been using cooking spray for ages so I could shave off 100-120 calories but "no more"!! I do manage to eat fish 2-3x a week so that is another source of healthy fats.

As for the 5-6 meals: that was such a struggle for me. It just didn't seem "natural" to how I structure my day. However, having said that, I will try to eat 4-5 meals per day from now on. There will no "requirement" for the meal rule on the next challenge so I am free to "do my own thing". I also am going to be more cognizant of not eating carbs alone. I have been ever since I began monitoring and regulating my blood glucose since carbs alone and too many is the main reason blood sugar rises so my awareness level is keen regarding that. Again, I just need to keep striving to 'tweak" it better.

I have "discovered" that a few key elements need to be in place for me if I am going to avoid impulse (aka off plan) eating so that is something that I am going to make a high priority "must have" to counteract:
1)keeping a well-stocked "clean" kitchen at all times
2)again, breaking down some of these "one meal fits all" way I have been eating over the past summer. I still feel that there are days when it seems quite natural to me but for the most part I am going to really try to break up my meals into smaller ones.
3)Using Dr. Beck 25% rule of thumb for eating over my set calorie limit when I am faced with a situation beyond my control (she cites the combined calories of one meal and one snack when planning on how to handle special occasions, like weddings, etc.)
4)take a few additional minutes to study the menu, if unfamiliar with it, when eating out at a restaurant so I can survey the landscape and see how I can strategize my meal choices.
5) read all my response cards beforehand.

So, there has been some of my handiwork from the past couple of days.

Take care all,

Pam

Hi friends... I have been 'fighting' wth that stomach ache for about ten days. Today I am feeling less sick to my stomach. I had two performances yesterday. I headed out the door with real gingerale, pepto, maloxx and crackers. Happy to say the performances went well. The past week my food has included the above mentioned food along with some bananas and noodle soup. I am so craving protein!

Wednesday is usually my 'official' count the weighin day. I have lost two pounds since last Wednesday. I had not weighed when I was feeling sick. I actually really expected to have gained. I got to change my ticker. YAY

The thought of a fresh veggie doesn't appeal to me but... I am going to go to one of my favorites - canned pumpkin puree.

I have one more performance this week on Friday. It's at an elementary school K-5. Tricky, really. A kindergardener and a fifth grader don't really like the same stories. So the ghost stories will have to be in between. I'll so some fun songs, etc.

Hoping to catch up soon. I have bought some new journals and am writing down my food today.... measuring too.

As always I appreciate your support, wisdom and kindness.

Good evening!

Good day for food today, on plan, ate slowly, mindfully, no seconds, left a bite, wrote out food plan. Weighed (down 2.2 - very happy that sodium is gone!), short spontaneous walk. Had some unnecessary drama with DH tonight but credit for not even thinking that food could fix this!

Time to get organized for tomorrow.

I've weighed the exact same weight for three days in a row. I don't think that's ever happened since I started weighing myself daily on this scale. It feels kind of spooky.

WI: NC in kgs, Exercise: +50 750/1000 minutes for October, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

fyreflie24: I'm one of the people BillBlueEyes referred to as having changed my goal weight. When I first started at 3FC, at 241 pounds, my goal was 150 pounds. A number I've had in my head forever and a number that is right in the middle of the range for normal at my height. Seemed reasonable at the time. Then I lost 50 pounds. At 190, I had already met most of the Advantages on my list--I could get up and down off the ground with ease for gardening and photography, I looked great in a new wardrobe, my health problems were rapidly improving--and I knew that I didn't need to lose 40 more pounds to be happy, nor did I want to maintain such a low weight for the rest of my life. So, I changed my goal to 170. The last time I was at the doctor, I was about 180. He was thrilled with my weight loss and took me off my blood pressure medication. I told him I had more than ten more pounds to lose to reach "normal" weight and he confirmed my suspicion that there is no magic that happens at the boundary between "overweight" and "normal". His suggestion: choose my goal weight by how I feel.

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Made dinner out of a reception event, limiting myself to shrimp and chicken on skewers, CREDIT moi, ignoring platters of cheeses and a cake. Meant to leave a bite, but only served myself what I intended to eat.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Thanks for the story of how you changed your goal weight.

Beverlyjoy – Good grief, what a challenge to tell one story to a mixed group of K-5. Yay for canned pumpkin - I just bought six cans last week.

pamaga – Neat list of "a few key elements" to stay your course. I especially like being reminded of Beck's 25% rule of thumb for eating in situations beyond my control.

Tazzy - Congrats on that kilo gone. Super Kudos for moving through the marital tension without using food.

Readers -

report: didn't read my cards, weighed (down 1), ate slowly, mindfully, and seated and left a bite, got planned exercise, contacted my diet buddy. I'm on yet another college visit -- this one an overnight to Haverford, near Philadelphia. The dh came too, and we decided to stop in Carlisle PA on the way so Jane could see Dickinson. Last night we stopped at a gas station and Jane and the dh bought french fries and onion rings. I had one french fry: delicious. I had one onion ring (my particular favorite): not worth the calories to have another. Yay, me. Then at dinner I ate half my burger, none of the not-worth-the-calories potato salad that came with it, and two tortilla chips dipped into spinach dip that Jane had ordered. Yay, me. Forgot to bring my scale on this trip, which I hate. Knowing I have to get on the scale every morning really does help me stay on plan.

Pam -- OMG, please don't think me wise! I am just stumbling along here making my best guesses.

maryann -- I'm sorry you're having periods you feel hopeless. I don't know if this is helpful, but re: the endless errands and being so busy and stressed -- I have a friend who uses a sort of personal assistant service. This person does all the crap errands so that the limited time my friend does have, she can spend on herself and her family instead of running errands.

Tazzy -- Good for you for putting the off-plan eating behind you. When you tried to ignore being hungry -- how long did you ignore it, and what were you doing? I'm interested that it turned into a headache so soon after a full dinner, because of course you couldn't actually have been so hungry at that point that hunger could cause a headache. Do you think it's possible your brain could have turned the desire to eat into a "hunger headache" to give yourself an excuse to eat off plan?

Debbie -- It sounds like you have a really thoughtful plan for dealing with not being able to sit down to eat at work! What's in your smoothie?

gardenerjoy -- wait, you weigh yourself in kgs? In MISSOURI? Is that allowed? So I was reading your blog -- you're going to do NaNoWriMo? I've always been intrigued by the idea of this particular exercise in turning off the internal editor. I'd have to turn off literally everything I normally do during school hours as the college admissions process is going to have a stress peak on November 15th, and I probably won't get much writing time while the stressed-out teen is at home. But plenty of people who have full-time jobs do this exercise. So maybe...six or seven pages a day is a lot, but I've done more when I was on a roll. I've just never been on a roll for thirty days in a row! Too much tendency to revise as I go. I'll have to think about it. So I guess we probably won't be seeing much of you during November, eh?

BBE -- LOL at lists of punch lists! Oooh...and you have your critical path mapped out! You sound like me! Do you love post-its? Yay, you for making a very reasonable dinner out of a reception event.

Beverlyjoy -- Yay on being able to change the ticker! The benefit to being sick, I suppose. :/

Hi Coaches/Buddies/Friends!

Yesterday was a good Beck day. Once again, work was without one bite and interesting considering the woman I worked with ordered a full out omelette and pancakes and set them in a common area for several hours while we worked. I ordered a healthy omelet after shift , brought it home and split it with DH for dinner-adding a salad. I did get spontaneous exercise knocking the foot of snow off the lilacs which haven't dropped their leaves (both at my house and moms).

BillBlueEyes, I'm thinking Dover Sole might be a healthy dish to try when I come back East. Credit for working on your new habit of leaving a bite (except at receptionevents where you successfully choose only what you will eat).

Beverlyjoy, glad to hear you are feeling better and that your ticker moved down in the process. I would love to see your performance! Have fun!

Pam(atga), it is not worth it for me to nibble anymore. It's counterproductive to every goal I am working towards. I have a vita mix so my smoothie is a mix of green veggies (kale, spinach), ginger root, a chunk of beet and a fruit, usually apple or banana. After I blend I add a scoop of a special protein powder and a greens powder. It's turbocharged, for me.

gardenerjoy, interesting how that scale works. Credit for getting back on track with your daily weighing.

MaryAnn, sending you supportive thoughts whilst you continue with some very difficult times and acknowledging great credit that you're still striving to stay centered with food while practicing your learned Beck skills.

Val(va1erie), great job using your resistance skills to have just a taste of some foods which folks usually have a hard time with moderation. I noted smoothie ingredients to Pam(atga), who asked, too.

I was unable to post last night (internet) and we travelled very early this morning. We're already back on the Western Slope and a hot springs awaits. I'll remember today that my travel days don't have to be off plan, but may include an extra snack, if necessary.