Hi,I've been trying to start this journey thousands of times before but never lasts more than a week. I know what to do,why I must do it and all that but my fear of failure always wins. I'm so scared of not being successful I subconsciously give up before starting. The voice in my head always says: why try you're going to fail anyway. Oh and I hope I'm not the only one with The Voice. LOL This forum is my last resort. Can anyone give me some advice as to how to get over this mountain in front of me? I need to lose this weight SO BAD!

Just think of some motivational quotes, or think of successful moments from the past and relive them in your head. Also think of the underdog story, everyone wants the underdog to win, consider yourself an under dog and that your thoughts are against you. Stuff like "Victory belongs to those who believe in it the most", and "Fortune favours the brave" and turn fear of failure, into fear of success! Just think positive, believe me many here have tried and gone through this doubting and fear of failure, and only when the moment came we then had the motivation and drive to succeed. Life is very long looking forward, but very short looking back. You need to break down the cycle, set small mini goals, and gradually as you achieve these, your mentality of thinking I am going to fail anyway, will reverse and think, wow you are succeeding, and drive you on more. So aim small with achievable mini goals! - I almost sound convincing here lol

Welcome to 3FC =)

One thing at a time. Set an achievable goal, and then... achieve it. Something non-weight related, but that will help you lose weight. For example, choosing from now on to replace the majority of your drinks with cold water. Do that for a week. Even if you don't get all of them replaced with water, doesn't matter. You've still accomplished something. Then the next week... continue to drink water, and add in a new goal. Add in making sure you eat a fruit or vegetable with each and every meal or snack. Water, and more fruits and vegetables. Those are things that are good habits to build in general. So start building good habits by setting small goals to start and accomplishing them.

What's the worst that could happen? Honestly. The worst that happens is you miss a glass of water or forget a vegetable. And so what? It just means the very next meal you aim to do better. Persistence, not perfection.

As you begin adding little goals week by week, you see they'll add up. They become sustainable. Eventually, you'll reach a little higher. You'll maybe start counting calories, or walking a couple of times each week. You'll try new foods, and work on being satisfied with less food.

There's no giving up. We make a change and we stick with it. No going back to old habits. We might slip up from time to time, but we're human, we simply make better choices the very next chance we get =)

It's not always easy, but it really beats the alternative.

You can do it. Know that you can.

You are definitely not the only one with The Voice, lol. Spiteful little thing, isn't it?

Start slow. Jumping in head first is what most people do, and they end up being overwhelmed by all the things they need to do. Start slowly. One step at a time. It's not a race, it's about becoming healthier for life. If you really want this weight gone for good, you need to change how you think about food and activity. That doesn't happen overnight. It takes time, trial and error, and most importantly, getting back on track if you deviate (which we all do sometimes).

A good first step for anyone is to start recording everything you eat. Literally, everything that passes your lips, even if it's a glass of juice or a single bite of chocolate, gets written down. If you have a kitchen scale, you can weigh what you eat, and it will be far more accurate, but just getting in the habit of writing things down is more important than accuracy.

If you keep a food journal every day for a week, it can really help you to figure out where you are and what habits you need to change to get healthier.

And of course, with the recording of food, should come the calculating of its nutritional value, to the best of your ability. You'll have to make approximations if you don't have a scale, but it's not a huge deal. Basics are good at first - calories and fat, maybe carbs or fibre...whatever you think is important for you right now.

Once you have a better idea where you are nutritionally, making slow, steady changes is key. Don't suddenly throw out all the foods you've become dependent on over the years. If you're a heavy soda or juice drinker, cut back by half the first week, half again the next, etc. Or if you eat out a lot, start cutting back on that. Add one extra serving each of vegetables and fruit to what you eat daily (leaving less room for unhealthy stuff).

It doesn't have to be big changes, or quick. Just make one or two at a time and wait til you're used to each one, til it's easy to do, before you move to the next. The only way that a mountain gets climbed is a few feet at a time, and there's nothing wrong with that. The only person who can fly over it is Superman, and he's already skinny, lol.

As to The Voice, I hope seeing all the success stories on this forum will help quiet it a bit. No one here is any different from you, we all have to face challenges to be healthier. If they can do it, so can we all.

Good luck. *hugs*

Thanx Irishlad for your inspirational words. You have a valid point. Focusing on the whole amount of weight to be lost can be so daunting. Most of all I realized I must start believing in myself and keep on trying...

Thanx to all of you for the advice. I think I'll start a blog and report back to all of you. I also need to be accountable some how. I can convince myself to easily that it's okay to give it all up. But I must start my journey for my health. Thanx for the support,this is awesome.

I hear the same defeatist voice in my head sometimes saying there is no point in trying to make my weight any better. I have no idea either about how to maintain motivation, it's a day by day thing. I watch videos, or look at threads of other people who have been able to achieve what I want and that's what inspires me. I hope you find something that can motivate you.

I would also add, keep a complete food and exercise diary, write down everything! I really find it helps.

It can be done. It definitely takes determination and sometimes, each of us, lose it at sometimes. The motivation we started with fades but you have find reasons to keep going, and even for me its hard to find those reasons. Even today, I feel like, why keep trying because I never feel like I will reach my goal. But I fight back that little voice as hard as I can.

I think the idea to set little goals like the previous poster mentioned, is a great idea. Keep them non weight related and more oriented towards a "healthier you" and everything will come naturally after you develop some good habits.