Questions

  • I am glad to hear that there isn't any fighting going on here. I've had about all of the battles I can take for the time being. At least at the moment I am stable. One of my dearest friends is warning me that people are going to change in their perception of me once the weight starts to go down. I agree with her and it simply angers me. I will be the same person - but somehow I know she is right. The prejudice people have had against me due to my weight may change. That would mean I have to have the grace to deal with that and face the shallowness of it all. I am praying that God will give me the wisdom to handle those specific situations. Anybody else have those people who suddenly came around because of your weight loss?


    Oh, and I am planning on traveling to Chicago the end of March on business. That will be almost 6 weeks post op. I should be fine right? I healed rather quickly after my C-sections - I only have that to compare it to.

    Leanna
  • Leanna,

    There's a lot of emotional reasons to deal with around this. Some people LIKE being around overweight people because it makes them feel better. Others do not. Personally, if you can't love what is inside, thin or fat, take it down the street.

    But remember these words from Dr. Seuss:

    Be who you are and say what you mean. People who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind.
  • Leanna,

    I wondered if your user name was "Just Praising" you know like praising God?


    Anyway, I worry about my friends being jealous if I lose weight. My sister is jealous about the mere fact that I have an appt with a surgeon.

    We will be the same on the inside, but we have to face the facts that people don't always judge us or care about what's inside. Personally, I don't really care to get to know people who aren't my friend due to my weight. It is so true and so sad that people totally judge fatties... they think we are disgusting, stupid, and pitiful.

    Therefore, I don't really care what anyone thinks about me fat or thin. I know what matters and I know that my true friends will be there for me, even if they are jealous!

    When did you have surgery? What did you have?

    Patty
  • Leanna!

    I have lived in the same small town all of my life, except for going away to college. In 1984 I lost a tremendous amount of weight by going to Diet Center. I was 24 years old. I was really really angry that the people who did not want anything to do with me when I was heavy now wanted my attention. It really flipped me out.

    But!

    Looking back, I think that alot of the problem was that I had a real chip on my shoulder. Also, I felt better about myself and was more out going and problably was a nicer person to be around. I know now that I am fluffy (AGAIN) I tend to shut myself in and not want to socialize. I am hoping that if I ever get to the point where I am thin again that Iwill be able to handle it better. I will still be me, but a happier more confident and hopefully nicer me. Besides....I am at the age now where I don't give a flying .......ummmmmmm....flake......yea, flake, what MOST people think about me.

    I would however be extrememly hurt and confused and angry if my closest friends, who know my struggle decided to ditch me!

    just my 2 cents!
    peach
  • ladies..l that's why we have support groups!!!! it's a real problem, some of theirs, a bit of ours...

    i was on a conference call earlier this week and STUNNED that a couple of the people on the call, who had never met me or anyone else in our office, assumed that we were all normal weight, and made some rude comments about heavy people. i'm still not sure of the best way to handle this. i chose to ignore it.

    i've been really heavy, and i've been thin. and when thin, i always distrust people who make rude comments about weight. just can't even talk to them. what's going to happen now? i have no idea... but i KNOW it'll be an issue.

    and leanna.. talk to your surgeon. you should be just fine, although you might be throwing up from time to time. my advice: make sure you ahve some protein shakes with you, and pack lightly with a rolling bag. no need to do any serious heavy lifting if you can avoid it.
  • Gosh........I have never been thin. My lowest, very lowest adult weight was 200 pounds. Became PG and that weight was history........never to be seen again, until now.......not there yet, but getting there.

    Leanna, we will change a little. Our core will still be the same, but we will have a much better outlook on life and things in general. gone will be the worry of, can I fit into that booth, will the coach seat fit, you get the drift.

    What I'm trying to say is........you cannot predict how people will react to you once you lose weight. Really isn't anything you can do about it.

    I think as obese adults we have all seen the "the look" from people, who wouldn't pee on us if we were on fire (sorry so graphic) just because we are overweight.

    Leanna, I think when and if this happens to you, you will find a way to deal with it.

    Debbie