I hope you have luck....but I still say better to 'just binge' then to 'binge and purge'. Not that bingeing is good for you. I am sure it is the cause of my heart disease. (or large contributing factor) Keep posting with us. We are here to help and to be helped...we are all in the same boat. I will be gone for awhile coming up soon. We are expecting a new grandbaby any day...just waiting for the call ...(teehee) Let us know of your progress. My bingeing has really calmed down, although I still have to fight it everynight...our favorite time, isn't it? I just eat to damn much now, of the wrong things. Try to post everyday....

Miss Minerva, glad you posted. Sounds like the you have caught on to your disorder faster than some and can stop some of the damage (physical and mental) at an early age. I am 33 and have spent over 1/2 my life dieting and rebelling from the diet ("bingeing"). Over the last few months, I have accepted my weight, discussed my eating disorder with my loved ones and have focused on living a more healthful lifestyle. Which includes some exercise, eating better foods, but also removing the guilt that I have ALWAYS associated with eating. It has taken me a while, but I am almost to the point where I feel guilt free when I eat what I used to lable as "bad" food.

I went to a Super Bowl party on Sunday and there was lots of junk. I had a little of this and that, but I wasn't really hungry, so I did eat much. If I had gone in there with my old feeling of deprivation and desparation about food, I would have grazed all night. It amazes me that just because I "give myself permission" to eat, I don't feel the longing or temptation...I am not sure why, but it is a huge relief.

Don't get me wrong, I still have my urges to binge. The worst is right before dinner. I am so hungry after work that I find myself snacking the entire time I am making dinner. I also find the weekends very difficult; it feels like I am "trolling" the kitchen all day. When I start the binge cycle, I am very conscious of it. I have been working on taking the food out of the kitchen and sitting down with it instead of standing next to the fridge and eating. I think this keeps me from hiding it from my family, plus it takes a more conscious effort to get the food out, put it on a plate and take it to the table/couch. When I am done with the binge, I write down EVERYTHING I ate and how I was feeling when I was binging.

I am working thru this one day at a time and learning a lot about myself along the way.

Always be kind to yourself!

Congrats FT on the new baby! We will miss you while you are gone.

Miss Minerva I am glad that you have joined us. You have taken the first steps. I have been dealing with this for years but I have just finally come to the realization that I was doing it. It hit me one day while I was standing in the kitchen shoving and piece of banana bread into my mouth. I had just eaten dinner so I wasn't hungry I was just doing it for no reason. I don't even think that I chewed the thing. I started to pay attention to what I was doing and I was following the same thing everyday. Eating large quantities at one sitting and not even tasting the food. I would go to the store when my hubby was out of town and buy cookies. I would judge the size of the bag on how long he would be gone. If We was gone for two night I would make sure that I could eat the whole bag and get rid of the wrapper before he got home. He never knew that I was doing this. When we would get ready to go somewhere I would put on a pair of pants and get upset b/c they didn't fit. He asked me one day how does my weight fluctuate so much. It was terrible. Itwas like he knew but didn't want to say anything. Once I finally told him I reminded him about that night he asked me that. I told him it was because of the compulsive eating that I did when he was gone. He has given me so much support. I make it a point to tell him everyday what I have eaten no matter how good or bad I have been.

One thing that I do try to do is portion control. I see what I serving size is on the package of what ever I am eating and only eat that. I measure it out and sitt down with only that amount. Once that is gone I wait about 15-20 mins before I go back for anything else. Usually I am satisfied and I don't need anymore. If I need something else I head for the fruit of a no sugar popsicle (kind of too cold for this right now).

I hope some of this can help you guys. Everyone keep posting b/c I love to read what you guys are doing to keep yourself from binging.

What happened to Mallgirl? Is she lurking?

yes....i have been lurking...i am just so pleased to see all of the replies and the support on this thread. it is good to hear how others are battling this disorder......and awesome to know that we are not alone....
i had another session with my therapist this past weekend. we seem to be making some progress, but i really think it will take a long time. i have been journaling, and sometimes i can avoid a binge by thinking that i dont want to have to write it down later, but sometimes the binge monsters are too strong and overpower me anyways....
it has been such a habit of mine for so many years. when i am stressed, when i am bored, when i am anxious, when i am angry, when i am depressed, when i am just watching tv or reading, i turn to food....and before i know it, i have finished off the whole bag of chips or box of cookies or something that i dont even like, but i eat it just because it is there, and then i get the feeling of fullness that hurts, yet i keep eating....
some of you have spoken of your husbands. i just got married in august, but we have been together for almost ten years ( high school sweethearts) although he is supportiveof my therapy and problem, he cant possibly understand what i am going through, becasue he eats whatever he wants and never gains an ounce. wish i had his metabloism.
anyways, i will keep working hard and enjoy reading your posts.

Psychologist have also found that we will binge in the evening if we don't eat enough of the right food during the day. Planning for 5 small meals makes it easier for me...I know I don't have long to wait to eat again. I'm careful to always have some protein or fat with carbs. I'll have a pear and 6 almonds. Or an apple and a piece of fat-free cheese. It seems to last me longer. Sometimes when I feel I just have to eat, I set the timer for 15 minutes and then get busy with my quilting. By the time it goes off, I'm past my craving. Most cravings last 10-15 minutes so if you can wait that long, you can get past it. I'm a closet eater, too, and it just adds guilt to the problem. I used to think my husband didn't know, but he has to suspect - how could I gain weight while eating almost nothing in front of him. He's just too kind to say anything.

Hi Susan,
I love to quilt too. Unfortunatly, quilters are also goood cooks. haha And the crock pot are quilters best friends. I love fattening crocked foods. haha. You are doing so well. I am so glad you posted with us...I love apples and cheese...but I can't do fat free cheese. I just as soon eat a rubber band. 5 more lbs to go to goal.....you go girl!!!! (would love to see your quilts)

Oops..I accidentally posted this originally as a new thread...still getting my sea legs I guess. I'mjus cutting and pasting/posting (bad pun).
I am really glad I decided to join this posting group. I'm also happy to see so many people supporting each other and trying to beat this terrible disorder. So, thanks! I have been really good this week. Last semester was evil though...I had a lot of emotional trauma which made it easier for myself to think it was ok to binge, to make myself feel good. I needed pampering, but instead of going to my friends and family, I went to food. Then over break I vacationed with food, so to speak...lol. I still have good spirits and am always a riot and life of my group of friends...which is why it is so difficult to reveal to them (skinny beings) my emotional difficulties with food. The super bowl party antidiet mentioned was exactly the kind of binge nightmare I try to avoid. I would have attacked that food...and if not there, I would have found it elsewhere. Why do I want this food? What does it really represent? I don't know, honestly...and I need to figure it out. I gave up alcohol because it weakened my resolve not to binge. So, I think I am really going to beat it (at least I am determined...lol). Keep posting everyone! It's refreshing to hear about other lives...
Miss Minerva

Miss Minerva,
We must be the same person!!! I tend to be the life of the party too...(maybe to hide the pain) but, that also makes confideing to your friends really, really hard....so I suffer in silence...and try to conquer this disorder myself. So glad you are with us you guys are such great inspiration.

Guess who went to the gym yesterday and today! You got it...ME! My friend and I have began a new workout schedule and picked the same time every week on the different days to go...and we are both determined...so I am feeling good! My "aunt dot" came to visit today though, which is always a tempting time to binge, just to compensate for the physical pain and mood swings...but I will be good! I am so glad I joined this post...today when I was using weights in front of the mirror in the gym, I started to get sad about my appearance...and then remembered that now I have help to battle these silly body image issues and I was ok. See ya later!

Good for you! It is always easier when you have a buddy. Next time you look in the mirror when you are lifting weights imagine your muscle contracting and relaxing. Visualize what it will look like when you are all sleek and trim. I think that the body respondes to the things that you think of yourself. If you feel gross and not very tight then you will be that way. Change the way that you look at yourself in the mirror and I think that you will be surprised that your actually image will change.

How did everyone do today? How are you all doing as people today? Tell us!

I spent the whole day yesterday at the hospital...my best friend had cancer surgery...she has cancer of the vulva. Ever heard of such a thing? The hospital is two hours away. The surgery went fine but, we have not heard about the lymph nodes yet. Still waiting on daughter to go into labor. She is 3 1/2 hrs away. I am just alittle stressed. Have not done to bad eating though. No binges.

Is everyone still here? I have been really busy and havn't been on all weekend. FT did the grandbaby come yet? How is everyone doing?

would you believe we are still waiting?? I had to go to the cardiologist yesterday. Just got blood work back and it is good. Friend had cancer surgery last Wednesday and her pathology came back clear!!! Been very busy helping her. My back is killing me but, I mopped her kitchen yesterday. I do not know when I will be back from daughters house when she has the baby. (so need to do all I can for friend before I go) On the 12th I go to Doctor to discuss MRI for back. I think I need one as my pain is constant!!! I want my old body back!!!!!!

Oh my goodness!!! Got a call from youngest daughter. She is finally going to have that baby will be gone for a few days!!! Off to Texas we go!!! Ya'll be good!! I will miss Ya'll, Kathy