I'm sure we've done this before, but I never get tired of laughing at you

So let's have it. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you or that you've done?

Ok, I can start this thread off with a bang.

I was a judge's assistant for many years. Every morning when proceedings would commence, we'd make a grand entrance into the courtroom while the bailiff did his "All rise!" routine. This took a few seconds, so while I was standing, I would take the time to shuffle through my paperwork and make sure I was ready to start. Then the bailiff would finish up his opening and say, "Please be seated and come to order," and the judge would start calling cases.

On this morning, I went to be seated as usual. As I bent to sit, I felt my buttocks just... brush... the edge of the chair. There was no way to regain my balance as I crashed in a crumpled heap onto the floor, the edge of the chair slipping away.

Naturally this caused a commotion in the crowded courtroom. But to make matters worse, I turned my head in time to see my bailiff don a horrified expression, then rush over and start hauling at me under the arms in an attempt to pull me to my feet. I was laughing so hard I couldn't help myself in any way, and he was smaller than me -- which was a recipe for complete failure.

I finally waved him off and managed to haul myself up to my desk and chair. The judge's expression looked like he would have preferred I just sink through the floor, leaving no ripples behind.

It was embarrassing.

oh man where do i start? the time i asked a caller to "please hold me" instead of "please hold for me"? the time i told someone i was distracted by a pair of hideous boots and she said "oh i have those boots" ....

no i have two really good ones. When i was growing up we were pretty poor. i was in the first grade and it was PE and i was wearing this hme made wrap around skirt that clasped with SNAPS. like- you know- DOLL CLOTHES! Well a nice gust of wind came through the playground and took my skirt with it!! across the playground. while i stood there in my underpants and everyone including the teacher was laughing.

and then there's the great face plant of 08. I got off the bus to go to work, had about a 4 block walk, and i immediately tripped on my pants and fell, as i landed - scraping my hands and knees... my backback slammed into the back of my head, head into the cement and i got my first bloody nose ever! i didn't know what to do... so i'm standing on the corner of the street crying and bleeding everywhere and i walked half way to work when a coworker picked me up. that was a bad day.

My husband and I were invited to a party, and I hardly knew the hostess, let alone anyone else. The room was dimly lit. I went over to a table set with food, and put my hand into a shallow bowl that I thought was Chex mix. It was a mushroom and veggie quiche

I tried to recover from that, and reached for a bowl that I thought was filled with Cheddar cheese squares. They were butter pats We left soon afterward

I'm a dog trainer by profession. I was in a large family class for puppies full of kids and their parents. One parent had a question during the first day class. The man asked in a completely serious voice why his dog licked himself all the time. Of course he was concerned the dog possibly had a medical issue. Of course without thinking first I blurted out "because he can". I immediately turned blush red and started saying sorry frantically because I had just accidentally made a sexual joke to a bunch of strangers of mixed age. Of course the adults all burst into laughter and all the kids looked around wondering what was so funny.

Mine is from back when I was in school, in gym class (of all places, I obviously didn't learn much from gym class).

It was the beginning of the class and our gym teachers always had us do basics at the beginning like stretches, sit ups, push ups, etc. We got to the point of doing the sit ups and all was quiet as us students were starting to do them and all of a sudden, let's just say I got a little, uhm how to put this nicely.. gassy. Needless to say, in the midst of situps, I couldn't hold it in and the loud sound that followed was amplified by the quietness of the room, the hardwood gym floors we were on and the echoing nature of the large gym room we were in. Needless to say that sound was followed by roars of laughter (and me being completely embarrassed, not to mention I was right next to the boy I had a crush on at the time). Can't believe I just put this out into the world for all to read.

In 9th grade, during science class, I was reading out loud, and instead of saying organisms I said orgasms.

ooops.

There is prob many more, but this one does stick out.

LOL, BornToFly, that reminds me of a friend I have whose mother, when asked by her sons to order chicken fajitas in the drive-through at Jack-In-The-box, ordered chicken vaginas instead. Needless to say, her sons nearly died of embarrassment!!!

I LOL just at the topic title. Those are all some really good stories.

Mine? There's many. Short one first. I, too, had a gas moment. It was 3 days before I gave birth to my 1st child. I was teaching phy ed. I was sitting on the hardwood floor trying to finish grades before I gave birth and called a student over to me. While he was walking towards me, out of nowhere, I farted. Yeah. On the hardwood. It amplifies. Luckily, the other students were playing basketball and he either did not hear it or respectfully chose not to acknowledge it. haha!

The long story one is, I was in Vegas for a girls weekened. We sat poolside as we watched a beautiful woman take the attention of the entire population as she walked into the pool, took a dip, did a slow motion Bo Derek-type hair and water fling....with her boob totally exposed. She did not know how much of a show she was putting on. We all got a good laugh. She noticed why. She literally ran back to her chair.

So then I get up, in my bikini, and go to the bathroom. I have to walk past the crowd of sunbathers, past a bar, past another pool of sunbathers, past another bar and yet another pool. I pee. Fine, right?

I walked all the way back and did not know that there was a HUGE remnant of protective toilet seat cover stuck to my wet arse.

I now was... the pool-boob lady.

I unintentionally one-upped her most embarrassing moment.

At least I was an example of good hygeine. At least, that's what I tell myself.

I can think of two occasions that stand out. Incidentally, both involve my bosses.

The first happened when I was just starting to lose weight. My pants were starting to feel looser but I thought I was still too fat for a belt. Anyway, it was morning and my boss and I were setting up our stand for the farmer's market. This involved going back and forth across the street to where our stand was and where the truck was parked. So I'm carrying a case full of flowers across the street when I realize that my pants have slid off. It was horrible. There were cars being held back because I had to pull my stupid pants up. It was embarrassing for me but I actually felt even worse for the innocent bystanders who had to witness that.

The other happened when I was working at a restaurant. There were some salad bowls that needed to go on a really high shelf that I was struggling to reach even with my trusty stepping ladder. As I'm reaching to try to get the bowl to fit properly, I fall off the stepping ladder and drop all the stuff I was carrying right onto the line. The worst part? The chef was right there and saw everything.

Hey. Your pants slid off because of your weight loss. That should go on the brag board! LOL

At my mom's house we had always noticed what seemed to be a sinkhole forming in our side yard... We always avoided it with the lawn mower and stayed clear with anything else heavy, but had never had a problem walking over it. Well one day I was outside "alone" and walking through the yard with my ipod in and humming along when I stepped onto the hole and my right leg proceded to go into the ground up to my hip! I managed to catch myself with my left leg I was in such shock that I just sat there for a minute. When I looked up not one, not two, but 3 of my neighbors were outside and had witnessed everything.. So here I am laying on the ground with my leg in a hole and they're all just staring at me.. (they didn't like me much..) so I had to get up and do the walk of shame into the house while they just wastched me..so embarrasing...

Back when I was in college, I waited tables at a Chi-Chi's Mexican restaurant in Cary, NC (in the old Waverly Place shopping center for any of you Raleigh chicks!).

It was pretty much rural NC and it was the early 90s. I was pretty sheltered but also considered myself open minded. It was mid afternoon and a lesbian couple came in the restaurant, sat in my section. Now, this is the early 90s and I think these were the first gay folks I had ever seen up close (I mean, out gay folks). And they were doing very very minor PDA but obviously a couple. And I'm thinking in my head "be cool, be cool" because you know, I was perfectly okay with it but it was NEW to me.

When I bring the chips and salsa out, they did that very very common Chi-Chi's couple thing where they make a big deal out of who gets the hot sauce and who gets the mild sauce. So, I bring out a refill basket of chips/salsa and when I'm putting the salsa down I MEANT to say "I forget who likes what" but what I ACTUALLY said was "I forget who likes who."

When I type it out, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I was absolutely mortified.

Two things comes to mind for me, as well. Both during middle school years... ahhh middle school... never ceases to be an endless amount of lingering torment.

1) I used to carrying around a little backpack purse with various pins on it. A couple of kids in one of the classes asked if they could look at the pins. I thought nothing of handing the bag over for them to check out. Oh how naïve and trusting I was... They hand back the bag after a few and thank me. Two class periods later we're walking towards a different room and one of them runs up to me and hands me a maxi pad saying "This is yours." I was confused. I looked in my bag and it turns out they had rummaged through all of my things, taken the most personal of items and after playing with them (one of the boys evidently opened the pad and pretended to be on his period and "used" it) decided to return them to my face. Boy was I embarrassed. Mmm... makes me all warm and fuzzy just remembering.

2) This one's a little lighter-hearted. The next year the bell rang and the halls were busy with people. I was waiting inside a classroom behind my friend to make my way out into the hall and towards a different class. She was being slow, and for some reason I was just antsy to get moving. She finally steps out and I find out the reason she was waiting... a boy was moving some large musical equipment in front of the door and I "gracefully" trip over it, spin around in the air and land flat on my ***... books and papers everywhere. Everyone in the entire grade is out in the hall changing classes and gets a very grand view of my fall, and the silence after the huge THUD was particularly amazing. Thank goodness I immediately start laughing and pick up my things heading to the other class. I try not to be so anxious to leave a room now.

Oh boy-I still remember the day that I got my first for real period and bled all over my khaki pants in math class unknowingly. I left the classroom last, and went to the student service's center for different pants-not many people saw me and thank goodness I had a jacket to tie round my waist to cover up the mishap on the very long walk to get new pants. I was so embarrassed.