Hello all. This is my first post here and I do apologize in advance for this topic most likely being brought up before...your help is more effective this way though.
I have been on and off diets (have lost count how many times) since my early teens (28 now) and a couple of years ago at my heaviest of 228, I committed to losing the weight with the help of a weight-loss doctor, weight- loss drug, and diet...lost 60 pounds! I am back to 213 lbs. and this past year I spent time with a psychologist to help me learn how to recognize my relationship with food and how to handle a healthy life style within my new marriage...although I am more aware of things now, I am still gaining weight.
The high levels of stress that have been in my life for the past three years are gone now as of a couple of weeks ago and I can put energy into focusing on my health.
Since a few weeks ago though, I have been on and off weight watchers three times...haha. I have to laugh because that's just ridiculous! Reason tells me one thing...emotions tell me another.
I'm tired of being overweight, tired of feeling sorry for myself, and yet the pain of that tiredness isn't painful enough to endure the pain of dieting!
Any advice? I'm a tough chick and can handle tough advice and observations...it might just be what I need too. I don't know.
Thank you in advance for your help - I admire you all and am glad to be a part of this community!

Hey ninthnote-
I totally understand where you're coming from. For the longest time I felt like I wanted to diet and lose weight, and really feel good about myself no matter what I was wearing-but I didn't want to give up the great food I was eating. I lived off of everything fried. I never drank water. I ate what I wanted when I wanted. And I gained weight. So, finally I thought I was going to quit complaining about my condition, and do something about it. Now, I'm a calorie counter. I eat 1500 calories every day, except Saturday. I also work out Monday through Friday. On Saturday I can eat 20 honey buns if I want to-lol. That helps me through the week. I know if I really want something on Wednesday, if I wait until Saturday, I can have whatever I want. After a while, you don't really want the "bad" foods that much, because the "good" foods make you feel so good. I heard a quote on here one time that said "you can have anything you want-but you can't have everything at one time." That just made so much sense to me. I can have it-I just can't have a cheeseburger, pizza, and peach cobbler today. And also, the pizza isn't worth feeling crappy about yourself. I hope this helps!! I know you can do it!

Just do it. One foot in front of the other. Losing weight successfully isn't about making one huge decision, but millions of little ones. One step at a time. Say no to something. Doesn't that make you feel proud of your abilities? Now do it again, and again. Eventually, it just becomes habit. Allow yourself to feel immense pride with every single little success. Don't kick yourself when you make mistakes, shame never prompts anyone to love themselves more. But just see this as a one day, one decision at a time journey.

Also, is this the best diet for you? Do you enjoy this lifestyle? If not, research to see what suits you best. I don't do well with WW, but SouthBeach works well for me. My sister and mom are the exact opposite. Find what works for you, because it isn't the same as what works for everyone.

We all go through ups and downs but IMO you really need to stop thinking of diets and start thinking about life changes.

I've changed my eating for life, my health is a million times better and losing weight is a bonus IMO. Yes I want to lose weight but if it takes me 5 years to get to goal that's fine because I know I'm healthy.

The way I started was to change things slowly. I stopped snacking at night, I started eating more during the day so I wouldn't be famished at night. I did the south beach diet (still love it) and starting eating a ton more veggies and lean meat and cut out basic carbs and fruit as much as possible. Then when I had a better hang of that I started working out. My first time on the treadmill I lasted 2 minutes. Now I can easily to half an hour to an hour.

IMO losing weight is 80% diet and 20% working out- so maybe try not to do it all at once, slowly change things if you normally get overwhelmed and you'll find it's much easier to do. And if you slip up it's okay- keep going!

Good luck

BTW I agree if WW isn't working you can change it up. Find a plan that works for you and remember less isn't always more. Don't deprive yourself- that's not sustainable weight loss. If you are 213 I'd say start with a goal of eating 1600 calories a day.

You went through a million "diets" because they weren't the one's for you. And I agree that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. And you really have to be in a mindset where you WANT to do this. You can't just want to want it, you know? I am 10 years older than you and I'd give my left arm to get back the last 10 years I wasted being unhappy and unhealthy. Please do NOT do what I did and wait and let things get worse. Because if you don't make changes now, it WILL get worse. Trust me. I don't want to see that happen to you. You have struggled long enough. Don't add another day, week, month or year to it. You CAN do this!

I agree about making the small changes. In the beginning I was an all or nothing kinda girl and I burned out pretty fast. But start out by cutting out soda and alcholol (if you drink) and make your portion sizes smaller. I used to be a fried food foodie myself and after eating grilled chicken and blackened fish, the mere thought of something fried puts my tummy into a tizzy!

You may have days in the beginning where you are whiteknuckling it and going through deep fried corndog withdrawals but I promise you it is short lived!

Welcome to 3FC and I hope you are here to stay!

LMAO! "deep fried corndog withdrawals"
Sometimes the folks here just say something that really resonates with me... in such a HUMOROUS way, I can't help but love you all.

Dear ninthnote:
I've been on a kojillion diets. All my life.

I was a chubby baby. Chubby babies are soooooo sooooo cute. Everybody loves a chubby baby! But then chubby baby becomes chubby child, and gets made fun of by other kids on the playground. Chubby child becomes chubby pre-adolescent. Gets sick of being chubby, sick of even family members saying "she is just a chubby girl".

I lost the "baby fat" in a growth spurt of the early teen years. Stayed stick-thin thru jr high & hi-school at right around 103-105 lbs. Ironically, while in hi-school, if I gained above 105 lbs, I considered myself in danger of obesity and in need of dieting. Hello laxatives & OTC diet pills!!!! Five pounds gone in a couple of days - no problem!!! Yes, that was a no-no but it worked & I did it on several occasions.

So finally - I learn to get healthy during college. Got very active. Lifting weights; swam a lot (lifeguarding) and hiking on weekends with boyfriend, and clubbing with my girlfriends (dancing 3-4 hours a night 2x/week really works that a$$ completely off!) Good weight! 115...MAYBE 120 or so into early adulthood. And yet... even at 115 or 120... I STILL THINK I'M FAT AND CONSTANTLY TRY TO NOT EAT TO GET BACK DOWN TO MY 105 lbs OF HI-SCHOOL WEIGHT.

Now I've yo-yo'd between 126-192 for the past 22 years. And I am SICK & TIRED of yo'yoing. What I want - MY GOAL - is to get to a happy weight, somewhere right around 135-140 is good for me - and STAY THERE. Until I die. I eat healthy 80% of the time. I exercise 3-5 days a week, even if it's just a little walk around my hood! I enjoy good, whole, fresh foods. Sometimes I get all PMSy and go stark raving lunatic fringe with chocolate & salt. But ON THE WHOLE, I eat lean meat (fish, chicken, turkey) and good veggies (zucchini, squash, tomato, cucumber, green beans, peppers, etc.) and dessert consists of cut up strawberries or a cupful of grapes, or a frozen juice bar, or a SINGLE serving of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (cup! not CUPS! one RPB cup!) - I keep my calories between 1350-1550 daily, altho occasionally I do go over or under that depending on my hunger level. I DO NOT EAT IF I AM NOT HUNGRY. I DO NOT EAT just because it's "time to eat" (lunch is 12:00... here it is 12:32 & I still am not hungry, so I won't eat until I am hungry.) Plus several other little "rules" I've made for myself.

YOU CAN DO THIS TOO. The best piece of advice I can give you is to FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. That may not be what worked for your friend, or your mother, or your co-worker, or The Biggest Loser winner this season, etc. You may have several types of diets & exercise routines that you have to try before you realize it just ain't your thing. But keep plugging away! Don't give up! That is the main thing for all us. Changing your eating habits is not easy, but it can be done. And always come here! The people at 3FC are awesome people. WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU! Struggling, but determined.

I'm just in awe of you all. Big HUGS and thanks to you guys. What you said really resonated with me and has really given me such a confidence boost! Thank you! It's funny that you all mention that I need to find something that works for me. I've been trying to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results and that's just crazy!! LOL!
It's so encouraging to hear your stories too...to know that we are all in the same boat with similar struggles...we're not alone!

I should have gotten on here a lot sooner!!!

Balance is the key and ShanIAm, you're right, it shouldn't be all or nothing...it's not sustainable.

Good news, I'm trying something different. I'm using your advice, your tricks, and will be freakin' proud of myself when I make a healthy decision.

again, you are wonderful...I think I'll be sticking around.