I am twenty three, and recently I have moved back in with my mother, two of my sisters, and my mothers husband as I wait for my residency to go through. I have started on a journey to better myself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. As of right now the household isn't particularly healthy in what they eat. Every few days we are asked what we want from the shoppe... and while I would love to make my own list all of the food seems to go faster than I am supposed to eat it.

Tonight we made spaghetti bolognese, which is not particularly good for you... even though three of the four of us are massively concerned with losing weight. I am worried that portion control alone (as well as exercize) isn't going to help me shed all of this weight off. I am not sure what to do or how to approach the subject.

The problem gets a bet larger when I take into account that my step father eats about half of all the food in the house while three of us eat the other half. It's especially stressful because all meals are made around what he wants, and not what is healthiest for all of us. He is around 350 lbs now... and there is no way we can make him see how he is eating and living a sedentary life is bad for him.

Keep a large salad in the fridge. Every meal, eat a large salad with very small portions of the "other food". He can eat whatever he wants and you will start to dramatically reduce your calories. Good luck

The salad is a good suggestion. Portion control is essential, and an excellent place to start. It sounds like you don't expect this to be your living situation long term? You can work on eating less for now and once you have more control over your meals, you can work on switching to foods that you feel are healthier.

riemontana's advice is exactly what I'd do - smaller portions of the calorie-dense foods, and supplement with lots of vegetables. Hopefully the chubby patriarch will leave the healthy stuff alone. What do you usually have for breakfast? Maybe yogurt and fruit could go on the grocery list.

Can you offer to cook dinner once a week? Choose a healthier version of a family favorite from a web site like mediterrasian.com. Even spaghetti bolognese doesn't have to be unhealthy ... I've served it to my family but served my own over steamed spinach instead of noodles, and made meatballs out of ground turkey (or half turkey and half beef).

Salads are lovely, and I will probably purchase more of these kinds of foods they just tend to disappear in a matter of days. This situation won't be long term, but I know it will remain as such until February when I return to University.

The unhealthy patriarch will leave most things alone if they are green, but fruits, berries, and lean meats fly. My main issue with the healthier foods are actually my sisters. They love healthy foods, they're always on the go, and physically fit.. or moreso than anyone else in the house (5'7 and 5'9 at 160 lbs.)

I generally do not eat breakfast, I know it's terrible and I have recently started to make myself eat a small breakfast even though I am not particularly hungry. I have an egg with the yolk over medium, a multigrained piece of toast and a small fruit or a cut of mellon. I don't particularly enjoy yogurt generally.. though when the craving strikes it becomes a mid morning snack.

Cooking tends to be a job both my mother and I do together every night (or it has been such since I moved in recently), and I suggest healthy things on the menu -- such as kebabs with immense amounts of veggies and lamb.... I am not sure where lamb lays on the health scale...

I haven't been able to find turkey mince since moving to New Zealand, though my personal beef intake is fairly low. I will surf through mediterrasian.com later this evening, see if I can plan out some dinners for later in the week.

I am confused. Your Starting weight is 135. If that is pounds and you are 5'10" then you are not even overweight. If that is stones,then you weigh 1890#. If its kg, then you are 297. OK, that must be it, right? OK, now I can move on.

I second what Zoodoo said. Also, you need to eat breakfast. It IS the most important meal of the day. Don't skip meals, have 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. Drink lots of water.

And lastly, the only one you can worry about is you. Everyone else is gonna do whatever the **** they want.

Good luck, I know it must be difficult when other people are in charge, but there are ways to deal with it.

your stats show you are 5'10 and 125 lbs , how much weight do you need to lose?

I'm pretty sure that number is in KG and not LBS.

Do you have your own room? Get a fridge and put your items in it or ask your mom to buy double what she buys if it's not lasting long enough between trips.

Seeing as YOU are cooking I'd cook what I want and let the "patriarch" wine away. If he doesn't like it it won't hurt him to skip a meal IMO.

Yes and yes. If everyone wants to eat healthy, there just needs to be enough for everyone.

ooops big difference if its kilograms, sorry i just dont think metric

Hi there =) I think starting to eat breakfast is a great start. Even something small can help start us up in the morning.

It's not always what you eat, but how much as others have been saying. Filling yourself up with steamed veggies, salads with lighter dressing, etc and only taking half of the "family dinner" is an amazing way to begin.

Make sure you're watching the things you drink in the process. Does your family drink a lot of heavy calorie sodas or fruit drinks at dinner? Skip them and go for some cool water or lower calorie drinks.

As you move further along you may also want to start writing down everything you eat. (No you don't have to begin calorie counting immediately or anything) Rather just make a list of what's going in so you're aware. That's all! Small steps like the ones you're taking lead to big results!

HadEnough & Nitenurse: Is having my weight in kg's an issue? I live in New Zealand, and that's what we weigh by... multiplying everything by 2.2 before I record it feels a bit silly. My starting weight was almost 300 lbs and my current weight is somewhere in the 270 lbs range, though I haven't done the calculations for it. Worrying about myself is great, to a point-- having others in the house that will consume all the food that I purchase for myself is an issue.


Beerab: That is a great idea. I think I will use the mini fridge downstairs though... My room is sparce on extra space. The mini fridge used to be used for my sisters beers, so we will see how well that runs over.


Lovely: I will start adding more steamed foods to the meal plans, as well as salads. The only people in my family who are heavy into drinking Sodas are my step father and my step sister... neither of which I have any control over. I prefer water over all other drinks about once every few weeks the store has root beer and I purchase one. They don't sell rootbeer here, so it's one of the few things I actually crave.

Great idea on writing things down with or without the calorie counting.

Goodness no that's not an issue. If there's room you may want to stick a "kg" after the first or last number so others on the site know and won't be concerned for your safety by thinking you want to weight 72 lbs. That's it! =)

5'10 and 72 lbs is a frightening thought... I don't know if it is even possible to live in such a way. I will pop in a kg in there, I can understand how worrisome that is!

is your family supportive? can you put your name on your food and they will not eat it? can you get as second hand little fridge and put it in your room?