Should I go to prom?

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  • Hey ladies - I'm seventeen, and my junior year is coming to a close with prom...

    At the beginning of the year I wore a size 16. I was always afraid to weigh myself, so never really had much of a starting point. Only how my clothes fit.

    Today I wear a size 8/10. At 5'8, my waist is 32 inches with 38 inch hips and a bust measure of 38D to match.

    This year has been one of such complete transformation for me - but with prom a little less than three weeks away, I don't know if I have the confidence to go for it. I haven't told any of my friends why I don't want to go - perhaps I should. I found the dress of my dreams, and I'd never even been to a real school function before.

    If I go, I get the feeling that I'm not going to be comfortable. I need to lose more weight.
  • Yes! Go!

    You're only in high school once - get dressed up in a dress you love, try to leave your self-consciousness behind, and have a blast!

    The only regrets I had about high school, even just a couple years later, were the things I didn't do because I was too self-conscious. You'll regret letting your nerves get the best of you... embrace the body you're in today, dress it well, and have a blast! (I'm not trying to dissuade you from your goal, but you've come a long way - don't get hung up on "not there yet")
  • Go! Do not miss out on this just because you feel you haven't lost enough. I was a size 14 and happy when I went to my prom. I looked flippin' beautiful, and my dress was great. I was even on prom court. I felt a bit self conscious about my arms, but good god, I had fun. Go and have fun!
  • Do something because it will make you happy, not because it's high school and you think you should. I went to my prom because I thought I should, and really would not have missed a thing if I hadn't gone. It's overrated.

    That said, if your friends are going and you think you'll have fun with them on a fancy night out - then go.
  • A prom is a special event. There will be no high school proms after high school.

    Put on that dress of your dreams, and go!!!

    Have a wonderful time.
  • I think just try to do absolutely whatever you want, without being influenced by what is the "right" thing to do or stressing about the silly cultural expectations of fairytale prom and "everyone has to go to prom" mania. If you don't want to go, then don't!! I think deciding not to go could be an incredibly freeing and empowering decision, if that's truly what you want and feel best about. There's no reason to put yourself through a really uncomfortable experience when the event is optional.

    I didn't go to mine, and trust me, I don't regret that I didn't go in the slightest. I was actually very happy with my decision not to go, although I do live in Canada and proms are nowhere near as big of a deal here as they are in the USA. I spent the time with other friends who weren't going in a more casual setting. And I had money to buy a bunch of great new clothes for university (rather than spending 500 on ticket, dress, shoes, hair, etc for one night)! It's very hard to have perspective about this kind of thing in high school, especially with all the adults telling you stuff like "these are the best years of your life", "don't have any regrets, live to the fullest etc etc" but honestly prom just isn't that big of a deal (at least not for people who have a future to look forward to beyond high school). A few years later when everyone is working or in college, looking back on your small little high school stuff like prom will seem sooo insignificant. Trust me on that. I would recommend spending time with the few friends you truly, truly care about, rather than spending a boatload of money for a formal occasion with a bunch of silly expectations. A few years down the road, once in university/college, the vast majority of people will only stay friends with a small number of their high school friends, usually a number that you can count on your hand (2-4), so it's better to spend quality-time with those few (you may stay in touch with more than 4-5, but good friends? probably not) rather than all the "omg i love you allllllllllll and i'll miss you cry cry cry" that is typical prom.
  • If you want to go to prom...GO FOR IT!!! Don't let anything stand in your way. Just surround yourself with your best friends, and have a blast dancing the night away, and don't worry about what anybody else thinks, because the truth is - everybody is either going to be too drunk to notice anything, too absorbed in their own appearance/clothes to notice someone other people, or just having too much fun to care. So don't let a lack of confidence stop you from doing anything you truly want to do!!! On the other hand, If you don't really want to go, then don't - do something else you want to do. Honestly, in my opinion, the best part of Prom is the dressing up - other than that, it's like any other school dance. So if you don't really want to go, but still want to feel like a "princess," what's stopping you? (I went to prom for 40 min top, then left to go play laser tag with friends - in our formal dresses). And trust me - Prom isn't the be all end all "night" of the year for most young people. Colleges have more fancy dress formals then you can shake a stick at , so if you do skip prom, it's not like you'll NEVER have a chance to wear your dream dress (I know at my school, most of the girls just drag out their prom dresses for formals).
  • I think if your weight is the only reason you're not going then you should absolutely go! You will look absolutely beautiful and I think you'll have a great time once you get there.
  • Go! I was heavy in high school and I went to tons of dances. Never had a date, but most of my friends didn't either. We had fun just dancing. I even went with a friend to prom, neither of us had dates so we just went for the fun of it. We ended up ditching prom and going bowling instead (with her supercute brother!). Ah, memories :-P
  • You should absolutely go!! Don't miss out on life's few opportunities to dress up and be a princess. Find a dress that flatters YOU, something you really like in a color you LOVE! I thought I was so fat at my prom, I was extremely self conscious. I think I was a 14, but my body is SO different now, even when I wear the same size, and you'll want those memories. You won't get the chance to go again, so make sure you don't miss it!
  • I should also add that my long-term boyfriend (what, like of 2 years? Ended up dating him off and on for 6 years!) broke up with me 2 weeks before my senior prom. I called a friend who I knew owned his own tux, and we went as friends. It was a lot of fun, even though I was without a date technically, at least romantically. I have great memories of the night and my friends and I had so much fun all together as a group!
  • When I was in highschool, I was your same height, and very close to your measurements. I felt so self conscious, and huge. I always felt like I was fat, and picked apart every little thing. Here's the thing- I look back now and think "wow- I looked great!" Right now you may feel large- but you're not. Time, and life experience, will give you perspective. You'll look back on your pictures from prom and be happy that you went, and look back with fond memories. If you don't go simply because you're self conscious about your size, you will regret it. Don't let your weight dictate how you choose to live your life. Keep doing what you're doing, get plenty of exercise, keep eating right, lift some weights because toning always helps, and remember that your ability to enjoy yourself is not determined by your size.
  • Definitely go! You will regret it if you don't.

    I didn't go to mine (Though in the UK it's not such a big thing) and now think I should have. In my opinion, when you put things off because of reasons like weight/image related stuff, it can become a pattern of behavior! Life is really too short to put things on hold

    Get yourself a nice flattering dress, sometimes a tan can help make you feel a bit slimmer so you could get a spray tan or something. Use it as a day to pamper yourself and go have a great evening with friends!

    You sound very well proportioned and you are definitely not big.
  • Go!!!!
  • I went to prom.