I have struggled with my weight for years and ive been an extreme yo-yo-er, and i also, am addicted to junk, particularly cake, cookies, pudding, that type of stuff. so, for my news years resolution i decided that i was not going to spend another summer being self conscious and i wanted to wear shorts and dresses, go swimming, the whole nine. i have been overweight for the past 4 summers, soooo enough is enough, lol. my birthday is in july so i made that my goal and figured i had plenty of time. i have to admit, i have not really been doing the calorie counting but i have been cutting back the junk that i eat, i still eat it i just dont binge on it as much, i have been regularly incorporating healthier choices into my diet, veggies, more fruit, whole grains, lots of water. i also have been working slowly on managing my portion control because i was a definite over eater, and trying to control that has been working really good, i just have to be more mindful of how i feel when im eating and i have started to hate that yucky 'i ate way to much now i cant move' bloated feeling lol. i figure ive yo-yo-ed so much that i was going to take my time and make this a life style change that sticks, and so far it seems to be going well. but, the biggest change ive made was making exercise a regular part of my life. my husband is also really fit, has been all his life (he has no idea what its like be fat), so his influence does help, he's been trying to convince me of the life changing benefits of exercise for as long as we've been together but i didnt grow up in sports so i had a really hard time sticking to an exercise program when i started one. this year has been different, i think because i have not given up when i have a bad day, or bad week, im still trying to get over that 'all or nothing' mentality. i must say, after almost 4 months of jillian michaels vidoes and walking/running intervals on the treadmill, i am officially ADDICTED to exercise. i feel like my old teenage self and if i go a day with out it, even on my planned rest days, i feel irritable, fidgety, depressed, its bad lol, but also good b/c its very motivating, i just remind myself when i dont feel like moving, that i will feel 100 times better when im done, and have tons of energy. now this did not happen over night, its been about the last 6-8 weeks that ive been feeling that way, it did take some time to get adjusted, and i did gain 10 pounds the first couple months of the year (i quit smoking cold turkey so i think thats the reason i gained), but in the past 3 weeks i ahve changed a lot, i dropped 10 pounds and am at 158, but i am a waaayyyy more fit, smaller version of my old 158, i have muscle definition i havent seen in years and i am so siked about it and even more motivated. im sorry this is a book, it usually is when i write lol. in fact, i lost 4 pounds last week and did not even calorie count, and i am not starving myself, i think that all the muscle ive built from exercising for a few months has just megaly kicked into gear and upped my metabolism. so i guess my points are that, if you try to have patience (and i know its so hard trust me) and just do what all those other people say and try to slowly incorporate healthier things into your lifestyle, you will eventually get there. some days when i feel bummed that im not at goal yet, i just remember that all those other times i lost weight quickly it came back even faster and someone had a quoate that went something like 'this time next year, i will be glas i started today' and that stuck with b/c i can remember many many times that i thought, 'if only i ahd stuck that plan 6 months ago when i started i would be there by now' so i remind myself of that defeated loser feeling when i get down that im not skinny yet, lol and i am sure of myself now, because of the progress that i have made, that this is permanent. i now view my body as a machine that was meant to hunt for its food, that includes running, jumping, climbing, moving, so i am going to treat my body like it is biologically meant to be treated. that also includes eating more whole foods and less processed since fruits and veggies are supplied to us by the earth we were created on it just makes sense that its best to eat that, you cant pick hot pockets off a tree, right? lol. also, my husband also eats what ever he wants, but also supports my goals (after all, he would like a good looking wife) so i bought this cook book called 'the comfort food diet' i think by the taste of home cooking magazine people, it has all kinds of recipes that are like modified versions of home style cooking, and some other things, it even has a healther dessert section. i pick new stuff out of there and try it and what my family really enjoys something it becomes a regular. it does have a 6 week food plan i think it stays between 1200-1300 calories, i dont use that but you certainly could if you like. i highly recommend getting that book, it will help you and your boyfriend to commromise on food. oh my, i hope that you made it through this incredibly long reply and hope that you can use some of this advice. it all has truly been working for me and i feel great so maybe my approach, or some of it, will work for you too