I'm new to the forum, nickame is Nessy (vanessa), 20 years old..5'5", 142lbs, attempting to loose ~20lbs (want to be 120lbs!!) Ok well.... I wanted to say THANK YOU for these threads/this section of the forum! I now realize I am not some freak of nature who can eat insane amounts of food in a binge (& throw up later...) I am so excited to have found a group of ppl like myself! This is infuriating and I am planning to stop (no, REALLY STOP... not those half-a** attempts I've made about a 1,00000 times in the past!) tomrrow.I have a new meal/workout plan designed for me by the world famous Mindi O'brien and I plan to stick with it 100%! I am so ready to begin a new chapter in my life. My dream/goal for my body is to look like a figure/bikini competitor one day..don't think I will compete though!
In the past I have been borderline anorexic (1 peanutbutter sandwich a day, 1 apple, and 1 granola bar), exersise ADDICT (working out w/ 2 hours cardio plus weight training everyday!!), Bulimic (it was so empowering for me to realize I could eat "whatever I wanted" and not gain weight becuz I could just throw it up!) I am ready to be DONE with this sick way of thinking. I want to anxiety to STOP, the bullsh*t to be over with.
This is my life and its being wasted away. I sometimes hide from events, friends, outings, because I worry about binging, purging (if the toilet will flush..), ridiculous, SICK thoughts that I'm so over with!
Ok... that's all for now! Thanks so much ladies and u have no idea how happy I am to be a part of this forum!
