I've been morbidly obese for nearly all of my life. I was put on my first diet in kindergarten, and I've been dieting ever since (I'm going to be 45 in a couple weeks). In the past 40 years, I've spent more time ON a diet than off one (It does such that gaining can be acheived far more rapidly than losing).
I've felt exactly as you express in this post, except I hate the gym even more than I hate calorie counting, so I can feel doubly screwed if I decide to go down that path.
I only started succeeding when I learned to stop seeing weight loss as a horrendous chore that sucked. We're taught to see weight loss that way, but it doesn't have to be.
You have three ways to look at weight loss and weight management.
1. You can choose to look at weight management as fun, interesting, and exciting (and you can make it that way).
2. You can look at weight management as a chore, but one that is emotionally neutral (like brushing your teeth). Certainly not something you dread, just something that isn't the highlight of your day.
3. You can also choose to hate every minute of weight management and see nothing positive about it at all.
At least you've found that you can see exercise as #1 (I'm not there yet, except for swimming).
I've found that weight loss can be as fun and as interesting, and as exciting (and conversely as evil, horrible, boring) as I choose to make it.
I chose an exchange plan, because checking boxes seems like a game. Calorie counting seems like math (and I never liked math).
I make grocery shopping fun. For example I love fruit. I've always loved fruit, but I never thought of fruit as fun or exciting. Now I do, because I make choosing fruit a mini-adventure. I explore grocery stores and ethnic grocery stores and markets, and farmers markets as if I were a tourist. I look for fruits and varieties of fruits I haven't tried before.
I do the same with vegetables and other food items. Looking for healthy condiments and pickles, ready-to-eat items.
I made sticker charts with little rewards for every 5 lbs lost.
There are so many ways to make weight management fun. It doesn't have to be miserable and boring. Miserable and boring is just our "default" setting because it's how it's most commonly done.
You don't have to love every minute of your plan, but you've got to design a plan (or change your views toward you plan) so that you experience more positive than negative. Because you will quit (with good reason) when the negative outweighs the positive. And the way dieting is usually done, we set ourselves up for failure by tipping the balance towards the negative.
So you have to find a way to make this a more positive experience for yourself.