Demoralized

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  • Over the last last year I've lost a fair amount of weight. In December I finally made out of the obese category and things were good. I discovered that I went down from a size 20 to a size 10. This is the first time in my life that I've not needed to wear plus sized clothing. I was starting to feel more confident in my appearance. I couldn't see much of a change in the mirror but I could feel the change. My bones are more prominent. I feel lighter. When I saw some friends that I hadn't seen in a couple of years, they actually didn't recognize me at first. But now I feel like I've hit an emotional bump in the road.

    I was looking at some pictures taken within the past couple of days and I couldn't believe how fat I still look. I knew I was still overweight but I didn't realize how awful I looked. It's mostly because of my shape and height. Curvy and short. I see pictures of other (taller) women at my weight and they look good. If I look like this after losing over 50 lbs, what difference will another 30 make? It's just discouraging because I can diet and exercise but nothing will change my body shape or height. I can imagine myself getting down to a normal weight and still looking chunky. It's awful.

    I know I'm being irrational about it but it's still depressing to think about.
  • Cut the s**t! Stop beating up on yourself!! You are doing a great job!!

    You are a size 10, smaller than most American women.

    You are seeing your old self when you SCRUTINIZE PHOTOS. STOP IT!!! Of course a taller woman is thinner at your weight. Take a cup of water and pour it into several different shape containers!

    Shake your head, realize you are being irrational, suck it up, and run to your closet and try on your smallest sizes! SMILE and MOVE ON!!
  • You've done an amazing job so far! Also, keep in mind, you worry that losing another 30lbs won't make a difference? You're smaller now, and any weight you lose will be MORE obvious.. it's all proportional. Taking a cup of water out of a bucket isn't going to be as noticeable as taking the same amount from a smaller sized bowl. LOL sorry for the cheesy analogy but telling myself that has kept me sane so far along this journey.

    Rather than JUST looking at recent pictures... do you have any from when you were 203? Compare your before and after shots instead so you can really see the difference.

    Keep up the great work, I wish I could say I've made as much progress as you!
  • I think the mind plays tricks on people. You are so used to seeing a certain image when you look in the mirror so you still see what you saw 50 lbs ago.

    The mental part of this journey can be tough.

    Lay a pair of your old pants on your bed. Lay a pair of your new pants on top of them. See the difference? Take a picture of that and put it on your bathroom mirror and any time those old visions come back just look at that picture and SMILE and tell yourself to rock on!
  • "Curvy and short" is kind of my goal in life, so it's surprising to hear you talk about it like it's a BAD thing.

    You're right; nothing will change your body type. So you'd better learn to embrace it instead. It's fine to admire what others have, but don't regret not having it yourself; you'll make yourself miserable when you don't need to.

    Some things to LOVE about being short and curvy:

    - You'll never tower over a date no matter how high your heels are
    - A lot of men love short-and-curvy. So do a lot of women.
    - You look as different after losing 5 pounds as a tall woman does losing 15.
    - There is no shame in having more in common with Marilyn Monroe than with Kate Moss. In fact, you could consider it a definite advantage.
    - It's much easier to hem clothing than to add length, so you can buy even the shortest styles and look great in them.
    - Being small and cute lets you get away with stuff; no one ever suspects us.


    Seriously, there are SO many worse things to be than short and curvaceous. Love the person you are and not the one you will never be; no amount of yoga will make you 5'9", so why bemoan your fate?

    Failing that, move to a famine-ridden part of the world where you'll look tall enough to tower over people who have led lives of chronic malnourishment, deprivation, and oppression. Then you can feel better about important things like body image.
  • We are our own worst critics. We will zero in on that roll of fat we know is there, or those big arms that bug us. We can't see the whole picture.

    I remember when I lost 50 pounds long ago, I would look in the mirror and still see the same me - just shrunken up. I was exercising, eating right everything. But, I still had larger biceps (all women in my family do), I still have a tummy (all women in my family do - even when fit and thin - they just never go completely flat) and my boobs sagged - that's just how they grew - never perky.

    All of the things I hated about my body PRE weight loss were still there, 20 pounds from goal. I really did feel standing in taht mirror that 235 looked about the same as 185. HOWEVER, that was not true. My husband thought I looked great. My mother in law who is the biggest weight critic in the WORLD said I didn't need to lose any more and that I looked great. Reality was, I did need to lose, but they could see what I couldn't. So this time, I'm taking a different approach.

    I know I will have all those 'faults', but I am taking measurements. I took a few before pictures. I'm saving my fat pants. So, if I start to think, "I'm still so fat or so imperfect" I can step back and get a grasp on reality.

    You have lost 50 pounds on a very small stature. You have to look TONS better than before and have to be TONS healthier (the most important thing). Could you lose more? Well, yes, and you are working on it, but that doesn't mean you are fat and ugly. Try to find a before picture, put that next to a now picture and see the difference. It's there and it's huge and you should be proud of where you have come and where you are going!
  • Let me tell you this much. 15 pounds, when lost the right ways, is a HUGE different. We are talking INCHES off your waist all around the belly you know you have and know it will be.

    Take a look at my numbers. I'm close to 30 pounds from my 225 mark, and let me tell you this if I could show you the videos of when I started, to what I am now, I could show you how huge a difference that 30 makes.

    I'd be willing to bet with near 100% certainty you look really good now. I assure you that the stuff that you have left, while you know it's there (I know the stuff I have left is there to) People who see you don't know it at all, and if they do chances are that they have been around you a long enough time that they are already supporting you.

    We all have changes we want to make to ourselves for health and appearance. It's just how we are. We always feel bigger when we look at ourselves then how others usually see us.

    But I'll let you in on a secret that I don't think just applies to men. I'm willing to bet no one will be able to guess how much weight you lose past this point, and if they do they are looking really really closely. Maybe too close you might want to push them a bit further away from you when their face is that close.

    Your physical appearance will still change, your stomach will shrink more, but next to no one will notice those minor remaining changes but you. Because, as I said before, you already look great.

    Once you get to this level, you are shooting for your idea of perfection. But what is the statement? Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss you will still land among the stars. Reach your goal for yourself, because it is what you want and desire.
  • "Shoot for the moon" is a great way to think about things like getting your education or interviewing for a job or trying out for the school play. It's a downright dangerous philosophy when it comes to achieving physical perfection of the body, though.

    When someone feels self-loathing at a healthy weight, it is probably not a good idea for her to "shoot for the moon" and try to get to double digits. More is not always better. At some point, you have to stop, look in the mirror, and face the realities of your body type--and if you're around five feet tall, the reality is you're never going to be an Amazon.
  • Just wanted to say that I understand how you feel! Although I am tall, I know how you feel about losing weight and still feeling fat/bad about yourself. Also, like you, I will always be curvy. At my goal weight, I am still a bigger, curvy girl!

    That being said, you have done an awesome job losing 50 lbs! And, another 30 lbs. will make an even bigger difference! I am sure you look great now so try to think positive thoughts about youself. Keep up the good work!!!
  • As another curvy/short chick, I echo what everyone else has said. You have done an AMAZING job so far and you should be so proud of that. You are so much healthier and probably feel so much more confident about your looks now than you did at 203, so what's wrong with that??

    And yes, 30 lbs on someone our height is HUGE. When I gain 5 lbs (which is what I recently did), it makes a big difference. At 147 your BMI is still in the higher range, so getting into the healthy range will do wonders for how you look and feel.

    Someone like you who has come so far is an inspiration for me and so many others. You are doing everything right, so keep going! No reason to turn back now when you've come so far
  • I'm also the short and curvy type, and I'd love to be in your weight range right now. You've had an amazing weight loss journey; losing 50 pounds is really something to be proud of. You've come so far for you to give up now. Just hold on and keep going.
  • When I said shoot for the moon, I didn't mean for someone to shoot for dangerous levels. The moon after all isn't a dangerous place at all when you are wearing a space suit, and had a space ship that got you there.

    And even when using all the safest means to get there, if you decide not to get all the way there, you at least stopped among the stars.
  • Amen Monica!
  • Ok seriously! Like..50 pounds! Incredible!!..ive been dying to get 50 pounds down from where im at now..I would be much happier.. and seriously..i envy the women who are short and curvy..you know..im like 6ft and im like a giraffe..really! I mean.. i tower if not meet most guys at there height.. and every single guy that i have ever met, has always wanted to date a girl who is shorter than him..and considering that most guys out here are about the same height as me..makes my odds go down..i mean.. i have a fiancee now who is just a little taller than me..but most guys prefer shorter girls than me..they like there petite women..lucky you... and so what..you have another 30 pounds to lose..thats nothing..youve gone down 50..30 is easy ..cause youve done 50 already..and im sure you will feel much better even with that little amount coming off..every little pound makes a difference in how you feel..
  • I am short and weigh the same thing you do. I also wear the same size, so I would assume we are built very much alike.

    Be honest with yourself when looking in the mirror. You look good, but you have some markers that you still want to accomplish.

    I have plenty of weight to lose, but I know that I can dress up right now and look sexy if I want to. Size 10 is not huge. When I do dress up, I always get plenty of compliments and I'm sure you do too. Allow yourself to see that.

    Although I like size 6 a lot better. LOL.