I have this wedding I am going to in March. I've known about this wedding since about month two of this journey. I just knew I'd be at goal by then and I'm close. I'm within 11 pounds.
This family of mine, which is out of state, is extremely judgmental. I've wanted so badly to be able to go to this wedding and just be me. I don't want to do a big reveal. I'm not looking for kuddos. I just don't want to be fat. And while we're at it, I'd love to be blonde with straight hair like all of them and 5'0" like all my cousins and tiny framed...but that's just not going to happen. I look like I was adopted. My mom's side has very strong, fair genes and my dad's side has very strong dark genes, so my brother and I look like mutts on both sides.
My mom has tried to tell me that I'm crazy, that her family is NOT all that judgmental and that they love me just the way I am. She's wrong and I know it. I was just on the phone with her and I don't know what possessed her to share this with me but she told me she'd been bragging to my grandpa about my near 90 pound loss and she thought it wise to tell me his response. "Well goodness, just how fat did she let herself get?" She then apologized for not believing me. So now I have validation from her that her family is indeed judgmental. Then she proceeded to tell me she was so floored she talked to my brother and both my aunts about poor insecure "Eliana".
Basically, in trying to help, my mom has set up a scenario to fulfill my worst nightmare. The last time I was there, at 235 pounds mind you, I had to take anxiety medicine to get through the visit.
So...this weekend I'm going to get some pictures up of the two dresses I chose for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself and I need some love! It's going to take a good fifty compliments from all of you to get me in a good head space about this. Also, I would love some help with accessories. You can all help dress me up.
Gotta love family.