Since getting the final 20lbs off last fall, I was (to be honest) smug. Stupidly, stupidly smug!
It was easy for a good couple months...in fact I even struggled to keep weight on at certain points.
That is until my intense carb binges right before Christmas. In the weeks since then I have literally felt like a crack addict at times. Not unfamiliar territory as I have struggled with real food addiction at various weights. Naively I thought I was past that.
The last week or two has been pretty horrible. Constant (like every 2 mins) thoughts of what to eat next, all carbs sound good. Distracting me from work and life...and making me feel consumed and insane.
Last week I vowed to at least cut back, cut out candy. I have. I am doing better. I stopped weighing myself because I was having full on meltdowns before work. But none of my clothes fit. No pants. Only a couple skirts. And I swear I look like a sausage tonight in something that reasonably fit this morning! Ugh.
Logically I know there is no magic bullet, no great answer, just the knowledge that I have overcome this place before and I can do it again. Sigh.
My workouts have actually remained amazing, probably why I have only put on 10-15 instead of a ton more.
So, here I declare my new rules to get back on the straight and narrow (additional suggestions are welcome):
- no candy, cookies, cake, muffins. At all! Really. I can do this one thing to reduce the insanity, Ive gone 4 days and it feels more doable now.
- nothing in the house I cant eat in one sitting. So dinner is bought and I am allowed to eat all of it, no internal struggle...Im better at dealing with buying than I am with dealing with restraint once food is in the house)
- calorie counting. I will deal with targets later, but for this week I commit to at least keeping track
- no scales. Right now, its just not good for my mental health
- keep up workouts. Im consistently doing 5+ a week.
More brazen goals to be declared next Monday, but I just need to do a little better. My absurd goals declared to myself about eating 1400c or going no carb for a couple days ended horribly and were just too ambitious. I can take smaller steps to regain my sanity.
Thanks for listening.