So this is it, this is my restart. And I am ashamed. I had lost 35 pounds this summer, and had done well, fast. My body responds quickly to diet and exercise, I'm lucky in that area. Knowing that makes me feel even worse for getting off track.
I remember seeing other peoples "restarts" and thinking that I would never be that person. But here I am. I got off track in August, and have gained most of the weight back. I look horrible, worse off than before I think, as I am no longer working the physically demanding job I was, and I feel awful! I don't like what I see in the mirror, its not me. So this is it, this is my restart.
I am also dealing with some personal problems, I am not working, and don't feel I can back yet, and I really need to. I just don't feel hire-able when I feel like this. My family is shocked at what is going on with me right now, as I am known for pushing forward, and doing well. I guess that I am really just looking for a place of confidence, and some support. I don't have many friends, and I feel like I have to keep my struggles to myself, as not to burden everyone els. Not to mention that me "acting" this way, makes no sense to anyone, and they just expect me to snap out of it. I have a problem with depression, but mostly self esteem. I have read a lot of pretty wise things here, like a girl in a thread I regularly post on stating that we have control over our weight, and for a lot of us, including myself thats true. I do have control. And that gives me a bit of motivation. And the goal stories always motivate me.
So, thanks for reading, I would love some encouragement if you have any. Also, I want to run, but I will be starting from walking, at my current weight. Does anyone know of a plan? or have general instructions? Is it like... walk x-distance until you can walk/jog x-distance, then jog-run x-distance and so on?? Would that work?